Radiant 28

 It's a year that I've been mostly at home, in the room to be specific. I miss Mr. Sun. 

I had an awesome 28th birthday celebration. Jayson really took the time to be with me. I remember kahit malayo pa birthday ko nag leave na sya. I've been teaching also with him ebside me holding my hand. It was also my firt time to have a customized birthday cake - sunflower cake. Omo. My heart was so full! 

It was kinda sad though 'cause Jhared was not around anymore. 

I attended a workship from Ms. Dorcas and learned more about blogging. I guess I'm still not that applying it. I still write like this..like howeer way I want to write. haha

I started to think about registering again as a Voter but it was only realized today! I can finally vote next year! 

I started praying for the nation of Panama. 

It was my first time meeting Jayson's family and visiting them in Quezon Nueva Ecija. 

We watched Start-up (korean drama) but was not able to finish it until now. 

Jayson allowed  be to borrow his laptop. He gave me himalayan salt lamp too! 

We sold Ube Halaya for Christmas. Hmm what to sell this year? 

I attended a wedding with Jayson for the first time!

I started to have my part-time job in Hi-Talk! :) 

First time to write our faith goals together.

First time to have foot (personally by Jayson!) and body massage  (sa may Isetann hehe) 

We received our pet dog - Sky!!

Sold Milk Tea with my brothers at Talacsan park. 

Watched True Beauty (K drama) 

Climbed a mountain with Jayson for our Valentine's date. Omo mud!!! hahahaha

We also attended a service together at Victory Ortigas. 

He gave me a sunflower with the fragrant Lily! I was so kilig at SM north hahaha. 

Had my first anti-radiation glasses. 

Started selling and buying Villa Marcela unit. 

Not marked safe from TikTok. 

Started my Gcash business. 

First time to check a land at Gapan Nueva Ecija 

Gave money cake to Nanay

Made my first photobook. 

Went to San Rafael River adventure for our first anniv. :) 

Cooked pasta and shrimp for Jayson's family. :) 

Had a heart-to-hear talk with Ditse. :) 

Gave a Father's day gift to Tatay. 

Enrolled in Lumpia academy. HAHAHA

Visited the model unit of Marcela with Jayson. 

 Attended Chaye's wedding and it went viral. #KMJS (Jayson was on TV!!!) 

Tried Juming Rope

Cooked spicy tuna pasta 

KISAME!!!! (Thank God for Tsong) 

God healed me and mac!!!

Got my first dose of the COVID-19  vaccine.

Cooked lumpia for Jayson's bday and he liked it.

He cooked seafood cajun for me on my bday celeb and wore matching pajamas! 

Thank You Daddy God for my 28th year. I pray to be more like Christ and to obey Him more and more. 

Here's to May_29 tomorrow! 

Here I am God, mold me. Here I am Lord, use me.  

Surely goodnesss and steadfast love shall follow me all the days of my life only because I have HIm as a Dad through Christ. :) 

Saved from the Fire

The plan was to surprise my boyfriend on our 19th monthsary. I will visit him in Manila and eventually celebrate his birthday as well. 

 Everything's ready. I'm really going. It's as if nothing can stop me. 

But I suddenly hesitated. 

Wait a moment. I felt like that there's something wrong on my throat. 

I  thought that I don't want to be a burden where I'm going (if ever it's not just a simple sore throat).

I kept asking God if it is His will for me to go. And He kept confirming that  He wanted me to stay for now. Medyo makulit talaga ako sa sa Kanya. I kept asking and asking. But, ayun, by His grace, I obeyed and stayed.  But still, I just  couldn't understand why He would stop me from my perfect plan (haha). 

I thought hindi na talaga ako makakapunta even for his birthday but then I thought it's possible if I'll have an antigen test. We decided that I'll have it to be sure that it's ok for me to go na. 

It was such a hassle. The line was just too long. I was so hungry as I waited and waited. 

After 4 hours, I was able to go home and wait for the result. 

While waiting, my boyfriend suddenly informed me of the fire going on just beside their place. We prayed na maapula na agad ang apoy and wag nang kumalat. 

I'm not sure what happened next. 

I got the result of my test eventually. 

 I tested negative. 

I can finally go!

As I arrived, I saw the  aftermath of the fire. 

Broken windows and all. I heard stories of panic, bravery, lost things and thick smoke. Things could've been worse but God's protection was really evident. 

As I listen to their stories, I thought that I could've been alone there ('cause everyone was at work)  while the fire was happening if I pushed through with my plan and didn't listen to Him. 

I wonder what I'll do. Will I be able to go out?  Will I be able to stay calm in the midst of breaking glasses, thick smoke and fire? I just can't imagine. 

I can't help but be reminded of why God delayed my plan of going. 

Why I had to wait for so long. Why I had to go through the hassle and the sore throat.

My plan was not perfect after all. 

His is. 

Whoa. He's really a God who's mighty to save. 

I need to write this to be reminded and to encourage you  to keep on listening to Him and seeking Him  even if things just doesn't make sense.

It would always be wise to listen to Daddy and obey. 

Aica, please listen to Daddy and obey. 

Enough

There's one who's not enough

But for Him, enough

Enough to save

Enough to die for

He came for the not enough

He died for the not good enough

The Enough made the not enough, enough 

He loved even though she's not enough

He made her enough with  His love that is enough

He reminds her that for Him, she is enough

Will always be enough

He asked her for Him to be enough 

Enough for her heart...

May she always remember she is enough  

That there's One who's enough

Enough to satisfy

Enough to live for

Enough

Regardless

I have so many insecure questions in my head. 

I'm scared of a lot of things. 

I felt like being a burden. 

I felt unwanted. 

I felt neglected. 

I felt so weak. 

I felt like falling apart. 

But He gave peace to my tears and fears. 

He said regardless..

He said no matter what... 

He's there for me. 

He would always want me. 

His perfect love would be there. 

My only security. 

He said He sees, hears and feels for me. 

I'm not alone. 

He said He will keep the  promises He told. 

And tears flowed again. 

But this time, it's joy. 

Small on Paper

 

When do we hold on and when do we let go? 

If it's only me, I would hold on. I know I can. 

I know that's what I want to do. 

I would hold on to my very last breath. 

Letting go would never be an option. 

I would hope and keep on hoping. 

But it's not just about me or my will. 

It's all about His  and so we ask continually for direction. 

We'll keep asking and asking. 

Is this really Your will? 

Are You really happy? 

Did I hear You clearly? 

Why am I feeling this way? 

There's something unsure, uncertain.

 Insecurity on the rise.

Fear again is creeping in.

Am I just being impatient? 

Am I being unfair ?

Am I not being understanding? 

Is it giving up? 

I thought it's something that is sure. 

I thought it's something wanted and looked forward. 

I thought it's something to be excited about. 

Why does it hurt so much to think that maybe it's not anymore? 

Maybe it used to shine, yes, but there just  so many shining things around. 

Is it still shining? 

Will it shine enough? 

And so we wait and pray. 

One day, His will will shine the brightest. 

And so we live each day with the privilege. 

To be grateful that it all get to happen. 

And so we inhale and live. 

We live for the true Reason to live. 

No matter what's the how, we live for Him. 

We love for Him. 

Continually learning how.