Three Days Mission (my first "go"ing)

When something's so overwhelming, I find it really hard to put into words.
Here I am attempting to immortalize one of the best three days of my life. :)

It's been more than a week since the Hike For Christ's Movement's three days mission trip in an Aeta community (specifically in Sitio Banawen, San Felipe Zambales). We went there to make disciples and to get to know the community more so that we can serve God better through them.

Looking back before the mission, I was so grateful for the spiritual preparation that we had. We heard and learned from different missionaries who's "been there and done that" in the mission field. One is currently working in reaching out our Muslim brothers and sisters, one is a Discipleship Pastor on one of our congregation and lastly, a group that has the same heart beat as ours in reaching out the tribes in the Philippines. I was inspired with their stories, excellence and boldness. I was touched with their heart to really honor Christ in their ministries. We were so fired up.

But then, I also learned from these exhortations that there will be attacks from the enemy as we attempt to expand the Kingdom.

Days before the mission, it became evident. Internally, I had that unexplained and extraordinary tiredness. Externally, I was suddenly being threatened to be homeless.

 The attacks were great, yes, but I also learned that when the attack is great, it means we're doing something great for the Kingdom as well. That excites me. Moment by moment, I was amazed with His grace and strength that carried me (and the team) through and was able to resolve to "go" no matter what.

Day 1

I had the privilege to lead the group devotion. I was personally reminded that even before we do something, God already affirmed us and is  well pleased because of our faith in Christ. That gave me the confidence to look forward of how He's going to move on our behalf in the next hours and days.

After the devotion, off we go for the three-hour trek under the scorching weather. It was indeed VERY challenging (I could still remember my numb arms, tired feet,dry throat etc.). But more than those, I remember singing worship songs with our not-so-pang-music-team voice, vlogging (haha) and the start of becoming intentional in connecting and knowing the locals. We're grateful for the children (April Boy, Daniel and Christian) who became our guide and the families we met while taking a refuge under the shade of some trees.

And finally around 11 AM or so, we made it!  We then ate our lunch, took a rest and prepare for the house-to-house discipleship.

We were then divided into teams (I was part of Team Grace with Glenn) and we went to different houses with these goals: to know them and make Him known in their life.

We've  heard their stories, hobbies, health concerns, dreams, struggles etc.
We've shared His story of salvation, Lordship and even Repentance.

It's amazing to witness how He's touching lives and I'm so in awe that He allowed us to be part of it!

Day 2

I think this is the most productive day of my life so far. A lot of things happened in a day and seriously, there were moments when I thought "Really, that also happened today?"

We attended the local church. We were welcomed with children singing praises! Tears shed when people shared their testimonies of how amazing God is. How He provided, healed and how He brought people back to Sitio Banawen. We met Ate Rachelle (one of the people supporting the ministry in Sitio Banawen). Her heart for community could be seen writ large while crying over gratefulnes for being back in the Sitio.

 Tears shed again when Ate Chaye spoke on our behalf and said that there are acually many people behind us who are also one with us in loving and reaching the community. Indeed, we're so grateful for those who sent us!

We're also able to finally connect with the local pastor there (Pastora Divina). We prayed for her and believe with her for the community.  She then invited us for a fellowship night and we agreed. Suddenly, we just found ourselves going to her home for lunch (am not so sure what happened,hehe).

We brought adobo and bananas. Pastora prepared pansit, fried fish,rice and.... snake. Yes, you read it right. It's not that she hates us or something. They really cook and eat snakes in the community. I wasn't brave enough to taste it though. :(

After lunch, we had a chance to meet few locals outside Pastora's house. I was so glad to see Judith again. She's one of the children I met on my first visit last year. She's a little bigger now and I also met her little sister!

After that short fellowship, we continued spending time with the kids. Some of us focused on discipling the little children while some focused on the youth. I was able to help out in handling the later.  Ate Chaye encouraged them that they're not too young to be used by God.

We then had a small group to process the Word. This was also my favorite moment since God allowed me to share my testimony to four young women (Jessa, Shiela, Anabelle and Reina). The testimony of how a girl like me (who's so unlikely to go on studying) was able to have a degree. The testimony of how I found my value and identity in Christ alone (not in other people OR in crushes hehe).

They played volleyball after that and I served as a scorer. I was proud that my girls won! :) Yay!

The team then distributed "sopas" to them. Yum!

At night, we had some time and played Uno!!! It was a challenge to play in the dark but it was so much fun!

Time pass by and we ate our dinner. We didn't realize that the people we're actually waiting  for us for the Fellowship night. I'm grateful that God didn't allow us to miss it. When we realized that they're waiting for us, we hastily went!

In the fellowship night,  they danced their traditional Aeta dance for us  and suddenly, they  asked us to dance with them. It was really, really, really an amazing time. We danced and sang (we sang "Awit ng Bayan" for them) praises together too, encouraged one another and pray. I was hoping the night wouldn't end. Awww..

Some of my personal funny moments was when Nanay Luz called me Kenkoy (Nay? why? hahaha). And when one of us thought that the English of "Gawa" is "Job" instead of "Acts".

Really, all of that happened in a day!

Day 3

We woke up early to prepare breakfast. It was a challenge to start a fire and to find the utensils sa madaling araw. Grateful na nakaluto kami just in time.

We resumed our house-to-house discipleship to reach out those who are really far from the community. When we're about to go, we're surprised na sila na mismo yung pumunta sa area kung nasan kami. Nandon na pala sila!

I'm reminded of the verse John 12:32 " And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself." - Jesus

Wow, may Jesus be lifted higher! He is the One drawing people to Himself!

I was amazed with the report that 4 Aeta fathers received salvation at that time.

 I was also able to share the Gospel to Aileen (one of the first girls I met in the community last year) as we went through the One 2 One. This was actually an answered faith goal! "To one 2 one an Aeta girl" I wrote and pray at the start of the year. Nakakaiyak when I'm teaching her how to find the verses in the Bible we gave her. HUHUHUHU. I told her we'll have Chapter 2 when we meet again.

When we're about to leave, one woman went to us so that we can talk to her as well. She went too from afar. She ran so she can catch us! Hirap magpigil ng luha. I was then able to listen to her and shared the message that we're saved by grace alone. I pray I encouraged her as well through prayers.

This is just too sweet of Him!  Thank You Jesus!

We then took some group pictures, bid goodbye and went home. I can't believe it's over.  Talagang nakakaiwan ng puso.

Who would've thought that after being rejected for mission trips multiple times,I was finally able to go? It's amazing  that the then "go" of my God in now "went".

Here's to more "go" ing.
Here's to more of His enabling power.
Here's to more for His glory.

It's just the first.



*Views and opinion expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Hike for Christ Movement.

Writing for Him

For the past months, I've been doing things that I've never done before or things that I've never even imagined of doing. One of them is writing a newsletter for an outreach event. When it was first brought up, I was too hesitant (because I only write blogs and I almost forgot that comm was my major!). I was reminded though that I declared in my heart that I will not put any boundaries on how He'll gonna use my hands, feet and life. 

I am blessed to be part of the Core team of Hike For Christ Movement now and this was my first task. I resolved to rely on His grace.

Days after, I was so happy to actually come up with this (though this is still for approval!). I was like, "Whoa, this really looks like a newsletter!" I can't believe this! I thank Daddy God for His Word for me last night..

Generation after generation stands in awe of Your work;

each one tells stories of Your mighty acts. (Psalm 145:4 MSG)

Your marvelous doings are headline news;

I could write a book full of the details of Your greatness. (Psalm 145:6 MSG)

I'm amazed when the author of Psalm said "I could write a book full of the details of Your greatness." I realized it's a great privilege to write about Him and what He is doing! 

So here's the newsletter I tried to do for Hike For Christ Movement's Balik-Eskwela missions (this is not the official newsletter) : 

The text isn't  that clear so if you want, you can read it here:

Balik-Eskwela Missions 2018 

We are very much grateful for your partnership in blessing our Aeta students in Sitio Cawag and Sitio Banawen, Zambales through our Balik -Eskwela missions last May 19, 26-27,2018. We are privileged and humbled that God is continually using us to bring hope and faith in the said communities.


At Sitio Cawag


It’s great to go back to this community. It’s been 5 months since we last visited and it’s heartwarming to see familiar smiles all over again. Our team (which was composed of 54 volunteers) was expectant of what God will do in and through us this time.


In this one day missional outreach, we’re able to give 115 school bags with school supplies. Initially, we thought that we will only be able to give school kits, but because of God’s provision through your generosity, we’re amazed that we’re also able to bless them with new school bags.


In addition, we also gave toys to the preschool children, prizes for the games and fed them physically by cooking and distributing snacks (“sopas” and juice).


Most importantly, we’re able to feed them spiritually.


We praise God together, conducted Bible story telling and had a discipleship time with the youth. Specifically, we taught the children to love others as Jesus Christ loves us. We’re grateful that we’re able to share the Gospel to the parents as well. We believe that they could and should be our partner in leading the next generation to Jesus. We must always go back to our mission. We exist to reach out different tribes around the Philippines to share His hope and His love.


It wasn’t only a wonderful time for the community but for the volunteers as well. We had a chance to meet new brothers and sisters in Christ, had a deeper revelation of why we were doing these things through our time of devotion and we were able to use our different skills and gifts so that we can serve more. Some had fun cooking, ministering, preparing the place, teaching, singing, dancing and even acting! Yes, some tasks were challenging, but we declare that we’re unstoppable in doing what God wants us to do. We’re grateful for the spirit of fun, faith and family in our midst. The outreach shaped our faith and we’re forever grateful that we’re there to serve as the hands and feet of Jesus.


At Sitio Banawen

It’s the second time that we blessed this community and it’s great to be back. The 2-3 hours trek just to reach them was really worth it. Our team was relatively smaller (we only had 33 volunteers) this time but God still worked mightily through us.

In this two-day missional outreach, we’re able to reconnect with the children and bless them with snacks, 85 school bags with school supplies and toys. It’s our prayer that they will be able dream big and believe that nothing is impossible with our God.

Just like in Sitio Cawag, we were intentional in sharing what they ultimately need - the saving knowledge Jesus Christ. We shared the story of Joseph the Dreamer to the young ones and presented John 3:16 to the youth. We were also able to reach the parents with the Gospel.

It was also a great privilege to lead the children as they sing and dance for Jesus. To celebrate His great love with them is a sight to behold.

The volunteers had a great time of fellowship on the second day. We reminded each other that Jesus is a compassionate God who can relate to us. We also ponder on what He did on the cross for each of us. We can only love the community that we’re in because He first loved us.

Again, we thank God for you. We truly appreciate your prayers and support to our Balik- Eskwela Missions.

God bless you always!

Hike For Christ Movement

After a series of meetings and heeding suggestions, here's the final look of our Balik- Eskwela missions newsletter: 

This might be not as long as a book but this is from my heart to our God and our partners. 

LORD, have Your way as I write for You

Masasa Beach 2018

In the midst of all the news that  the Masasa Beach is too crowded and becoming dirty, we went there and prayed to still be in awe of God's creation! Being with spiritual sisters in this adventure made it even more fun and delectable! I will be forever grateful that Daddy God allowed me to walk this life with these women - My Victory Friends! Anyway, here's how we went there and what happened (I hope my memory will serve me right, so the time here is only an estimated time, hindi ko na talaga masyado matandaan):


12:30 AM I met Jo and Gab in KFC (near Kia Theater) and then we walked (yes! We went there on foot! HAHA) to Jam liner's Kamuning Terminal (near GMA) 

1:20   AM We arrived in  Jam Liner Terminal. Bought and ate Spaghetti! I was too hungry. Hehe. Waited for the other girls and start na ng tawanan. :)

2:00   AM   We rode a bus going to Batangas Grand Terminal. It's the bus with a signage:  CALABARZON / Batangas Pier   (Php 165)

4:20   AM  We arrived at Batangas Grand Terminal. We then rode a jeepney going to Anilao port (Php 40)

5: 00 AM   We arrived at Anilao Port.  We paid for the environmental fee (Php 30). They will write a number on your environmental fee's ticket. For the boat ride, they will call out the number written on your  environmental fee's ticket.  I saw a watermelon-designed salbabida and we bought it hehe. You'll see how it looks later.

5:30 AM  We rode the boat. Supposedly, it should go to Tingloy port, pero sa ibang port pala ang punta nung boat na nasakyan namin. I can't remember the name of the other port though but it's still near Masasa so don't worry. It's just that it's more expensive. Instead of Php 80, we paid Php 100. Parang nasa bus lang ang singilan dito. May parang kundoktor na maniningil ng bayad habang nasa byahe. More than an hour ang travel time. It was so exciting! It's my first time to ride a boat!!!! I met Ate Millet and her son. She shared to me that she grew up in Batangas and she always ride a boat but until now, she's still a little scared of the waves. I always wonder if I'll have seasick if ever I'll ride a boat but it was tolerable for me. It's great to discover that.

Speaking of waves, I was so surprised nung biglang nabasa ng alon  ang mga natutulog kong friends and nagising talaga sila!  (It was hard for me to hinder myself from laughing! Peace girls. ;))

Life jacket! (it's my first time to wear it hehe)  :) 

6: 50 AM     We arrived at the port (Victory port? just kidding! HAHA). And then rode a tricycle going to our transient  house.  (Php 20) It was one of the most challenging tricycle ride ever AND YET ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TOO! Challenging because nakasakay ako sa likod bitbit ang malaking salbabida, tapos sobrang taas nung paakyat!!! We had to move forward para hindi tumaob ang tricycle! Oh my! And then one of the most beautiful because makikita mo na yung dagat sa ibaba!!! We then walked going to our transient house.

7:00 /7:30 AM (not sure na talaga) We arrived in Teacher Benny's Transient House. I recommend  to make a reservation in  a transient house before going to Masasa. We're blessed in our transient house! Baka gusto mo din sa kanila?

It is near the beach!!

No need to ride a service boat or tricycle

Rate: We paid  Php 350 per head per night 

Offers:

8 rooms with fan, 4 bathrooms & cr, with standby generator in case there's brownout, free use of gas stove and kitchen wares, with grilling station, free use of videoke

May tindahan din sila!!!

Activities:

Snorkeling 

Island hopping 

Mountain trekking to Mag asawang bato 

Visiting a lagoon 

Contact numbers: 09178048427 / 09997762755

We prepared our brunch (rice, maling , kamtis,  itlog na pula and pritong talong) . Ate some bread. Prepare for our photoshoot (wahahaha!) and Island hopping! The price of Island hopping varies and it's optional. For us, we paid Php 365 per head. 

Then we went to the beach. It's true that there are a lot of people (well, not so many I guess compared to the crowd during the Holy Week). Anyway, I was fine with it. I focused more on the fact that the water was sooooo clearrrrrrr!!It's breathtaking!!! (Buti pa yung water, malinaw. HAHA) 

Then these happened: 

Time for Island Hopping!!!!!

Saya "tumindig" sa bangka! ;) 

The watermelon Salbabida! HAHA

First Island : Sombrero Island. Pero, umikot lang kami dahil may bayad ang pagdaong sa Sombrero Island. Php 200 per head.  It's a private property. 

Second Island: I forgot the name. Huhu. Was it "Seyuc Island"? Not sure. It was the island na almost kami lang yung tao. We ate lunch there and went swimming. 

Naging Morena na. HAHA. a pic with Kuya Vic, our bangkero! :) 

For our Magazine spread. HAHAHA

Linaw!!!!

Third Island: Don't ask me the name. HAHA. Pero kami lang yung tao. It's where we had our training for snorkeling. I was soo grateful to learn!!!! #learner . It was too amazing!!!!

Picture muna bago sumabak. 

When we finally knew how, it's time to snorkel!!!!  My mind and heart are still trying to repeat what I saw and felt until now. It's like wala akong word for this. I'm too in awe. It's true when Daddy said that He will let me see "great and marvelous" things. I was singing a worship song or talking and praising Daddy (in my head of course haha) while snorkeling for letting me experience this!  I saw corals, fishes and starfishes. They're soooo cute!!!! I was like in another world for  a while. Whooooooohoooooo!!!!!

After seeing God's wonderful creation below!!! 

Going back to Masasa... 

Some of my friends have to go back to Manila right away.. so we went back to our transient and  settled  the payment.  The girls (who will leave) still need to pay the transient house since may mga nagbago yung sched. Dapat 6 kaming mag overnight pero naging tatlo na lang. Need pa din bayaran yung na reserve na slot so make sure to be sure kung ilan sa inyo ang mag oovernight. :)

We had our short VG. Dessie shared to us about making a difference in the workplace and  prayed "Lord, help us to be there for each other as You are there for each of us".  Then it's time to say goodbye. Awww.

Naiwan kami ni Ana and Arl. We sang in videoke while waiting for the sun to go down a bit. Feeling namin quota na sa sun rays ang  balat namin. HAHA. We also ate cucumber with magkakaiba ng sawsawan. Hihi.

We eventually went back to the beach and found a great spot because the sand is powdery. :")
I love the girls. Grabe. They made my dreams come true... like pagsakay sa salbabida and matabunan ng buhangin. yayyyy!!!

Chat and chat and chat. Sunset.

Prepared for dinner and took a bath.Ate dinner and sleep.


Day 2

5:27 Woke up

6  AM went to the beach. Worshiped God together. Encouraged one another. Sought God individually. Shared what Daddy spoke to our hearts and prayed for each other. I'm too blessed to have them as eternal friends and sisters :")

date with Daddy 

Thank you Mars for capturing and for your life! 

How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. 

 They cannot be numbered!

 I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

You are still with me!

Psalm 139:17-18 

#tears

Prepared breakfast , ate and prepared to go home. We're supposed to go to the famous lagoon pero 24 hours lang dapat sa transient house. Lagpas na kami and may paparating na bagong guests so nakakahiya na. hehe. 

We left at around 10:10 AM. 

We rode a tricycle going to Tingloy Port (Php 20 each) . 

Rode the boat (Php 80) going to Anilao Port.

Bought some candies and pasalubong. 

Took the jeepney going to Batangas Grand Terminal (Php 40)

Rode a bus going to Cubao. (Php 165) 

We arrived at Cubao around 3PM. Parang panaginip ang lahat. :) 

P.S. If you'll go there, please.... BE DISCIPLINED. Magtapon ng mga basura sa mga trash bin not in the seashore. Wag na din mag bonfire kasi nakakasira din sa beauty ng Masasa. Thank you! 

May more people and generation enjoy the beauty of this place.

Ana: Mars, balik tayo!

         Yes, Mars! Tara!!!!!

                                                   *Photos are from Ms. Desserie Dionio and Ms. Ana Fatima Morauda 

Why I still have NBSB

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

The old me:  "I'm not pretty enough".

 If  I were the old me, I would repeatedly tell myself "It's because you're  not pretty enough, not good enough. There's something really wrong with you!"

It was so dreadful. It wasn't really easy for the younger me because I believed back then that life is all about education and a boyfriend (really). I remember being so desperate. Those who knew me then would agree with  this. I remember asking my PolGov professor one day with this question  (out of nowhere),

"Sir....magkaka boyfriend po ba ko sir?"

 and his response was out of this world (mind you haha),

 "Oo naman, mas maganda ka pa sa kalabasa"!


What does he mean? At least for me, it means,  I'm not as pretty as the other girls. I continued thinking "No one will love me. I must not have any standards na. Basta lalaki okay na!"




In between: "I have to meet Love Himself first "


When I was 18 though and in the midst of all these insecurities,  I met Someone. Someone that made me realize that there's really something wrong with me (sin) , but He took care of it already. Someone who told me that I'm beautiful twice over (because He created me and saved me). Someone who said with His life and blood that I'm precious and worth dying for. (I'm honestly so kilig writing this! HAHA!) I met the BEST MAN ever. My THE ONE - JESUS CHRIST.

 I'm THAT BEAUTIFUL to  HIM? I'm THAT PRECIOUS  to HIM? SOMEONE LOVES ME?  WOW.

I slowly shrugged the thought that I'm not pretty or good enough. (slowly, yes, it took years and years for me to fully embrace who He says I am because there are times that insecurity creeps in. I'm grateful that He keeps on reminding me of His love and my identity in Him.) I learned the process of taking my eyes off myself and what's  beautiful for the world and look to Him.


"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"  2 Corinthians 5:17

The new me.


 It's surprising that nowadays people were surprised whenever they would discover that I never had a boyfriend nor a suitor (YES!) I hear them say , "Weh? di nga? baka hindi mo na agad pinapansin", " Irereto kita sa pinsan ko teacher!"  or "siguro ang taas taas ng standards mo."

STANDARDS. The old me didn't have this but now, Yes, I do have. I do have high standards - God's standards: Someone who also met Love Himself  in between and loves Him more than  he could ever love anyone (even me).

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

1. God is molding me. He's really doing a big work in my heart. I have to be molded to the woman God wants me to be. A woman who's so whole and complete in Him. A woman whose pursuit is His purposes.


"... people used to tell me the best way to prepare for marriage was to date around and to get into all of these short-term flings. I learned the hard way that that wasn’t true, but what I did realize in that season of my life was that the best way that I could prepare for marriage truly was to learn how to find my fulfillment in Christ, how to make Him my First Love, how to cultivate that spiritual purity in my life where He was my All in all."  - Leslie Ludy

2. He's prepared a man for me. My MOG. Not an other half but an equal match. He is also whole and complete in Him. No need to settle for anything less than what He wants for me - His best. I'm sure He is still doing a big work in his heart too (hehe).


3. It's not yet His time. I know He knows when it is the sweetest. Just like what is written in the book of Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in its time". 3:11a


If it's His will, walang makakapigil.
If not, we surrender to His good, pleasing and perfect will. :")

I really dread letting others know that I have NBSB but now,  I'm surprisingly joyful. I think I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm amazed. As I look back,  it was like my THE ONE protected me all along and ensured  na Sya ang magiging FIRST SUITOR,  LOVE at YES  ko.

 I'm glad that He is.

And for you, princess, whatever status you're in, whatever the condition of your heart right now -hopeless or hopeful, shattering or healing.... it's not too late. One day,  you will also meet THE ONE in between. The One who loved you first. He loved you first. He's fighting for that moment.

Let Him love your first.

"Let Him love you first.

Before you allow the right guy to pursue you, give your yes to the Lord first.

Because God wants to show you how you should be loved.

He wants to give you heaven and earth before anyone can promise you the sun and the moon.

He wants you to experience his genuine intention to serenade you with His goodness and mercy.

He wants to rejoice with you and quiet you with His love.

He longs to have a lot of your “firsts.” - Joena San Diego 

It's such a beautiful beautiful Love story. You and Jesus.


P.S.

 And Only He knows when the heart is ready for the second one. :")

Photo by Blubel on Unsplash

Zambales! (summer 2017)

Sabina Beach Resort San Narcisso Zambales. 

It's my third beach in this lifetime and my first beach with the VFs. It's the farthest that we've been so far and I'm excited where else He would take us. 

BGM: Only Hope by Switchfoot

So what did I choose? School or Work?

"Lord, no matter what I'm going to choose, You are my Savior. My ONLY Savior."

It dawned on me that I have to choose between my two values - school and work.

For years, work has been one of THE priorities. I'm a young professional and this is my season. I was taught of excellence, prayed for excellence and by His grace ,excelled.  Never wanted to be a burden to my co-workers and as much as possible, I would choose to submit to the authority that God placed in the workplace.

But then, school came. I'm not just a teacher now but a student as well. This is huge for me. I've got to do my best too. As a student,  I've always been a GC (grade-conscious) one. Yes, self-professed GC. Excellence. Excellence. EXCELLENCE! For me, learning is VERY important!


March 1st. Two events. One choice.

The battle begins.

It's a training day in the office. This is a critical working day. I can't file a leave. I still tried and was busted. If I'll be absent, the whole section will be afffected. I was asked not to be selfish and inconsiderate. I will lose the trust of my supervisor and management. Worst, I could ruin my testimony in the office.

It's at the same time observation day for school. We will go to three different schools, observe and submit  three papers out of that. I will have great time learning how teachers in the early grades teach and how the students response. It's going to be my first time if ever and I'm so thrilled. I can also imagine having  a great time with my professor and classmates.

I asked  if the observation day could still be moved but then, it's final.

The decision -making process is about to start. So, what did I  do?

Prayed for direction. (That's the first in  decison making. You want
to have His wisdom over these things.)

Read the Bible. I was lead to John 16. and these verses strucked me:

" Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.  So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.   - John 16: 20-22


I perceived it as I have to give way to the new baby and as I do that, it'll be really painful. So my  initial words to the Lord was,  "Lord, do You want me to choose school? Please convince me. Please continue to lead me."

I also wrote my priorites at the moment and I ended up writing:

 1. God
 2. Family
 3. School
 4. Work
 5. Ministry

With that.. mukhang school na talaga ang pipiliin ko. Deep inside, I know I want school, pero yung feeling, parang bibitayin or tatalon ako sa bangin in the  coming days.

But still, I can't bring myself  to be confident with my own ability to follow Him, I thought there's a possiblity that I was just being biased dahil nga school talaga ang desire ko.  I asked advice from friends, students, family members and they all have valid arguments...

"Company is more important".

"Dream is better than now."

"The company is the one who gives you  money to go to school."

"It's for your future. "

"Your work is your bread and butter."

"Teacher, you will REALLY learn a lot in school observation!!!!"

"You will be severely punished".

Inhale. Exhale. I continued praying for His lead.

Then, in one of the preachings, I was reminded of having a functional savior.

Functional savior is something or someone  that gives you security, satisfaction, significance, success, meaning aside from Jesus Christ.

I questioned myself, Is my work my functional savior that's why I'm so afraid of ruining it? Is my grade my functional savior that's why I  just can't  let this observation go?

Will I lose my security, satisfaction, significance, success,or  meaning when I lose them?

No. I  still have Jesus.

"Lord, no matter what I'm going to choose, You are my Savior. My ONLY Savior."

Heard another preaching in a Sunday service and I was reminded of "considering others more important than yourself" . With that, mukhang work noh? I don't want to move out of selfishness!

Pero when I talked to my best friend, she voted for School though. Waaaaaahhh! Kalma. Kalma. He will lead me. I continued to declare.

Can you imagine ang pagiging unstable ng mind and heart ko at that time? Shocks. That's why He reminds me this Word time and time again:

 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Decision-making never been this hard! But at the end of the day, when you ready yourself to surrender  yourself to His will, sasaluhin ka Nya talaga.

Kept on praying and crying out.

Monday came and I received an e-mail from my professor!

If can't make it on March 1st, I can just observe on March 3rd... pero one school lang.

It's like a ray of sunshine for me. I thought wow, I could actually experience observing kahit isang school lang. Thus, I prayed again as I apply for leave on March 3rd. If ma aapprove, it's His will na March 3rd, if not, at will Nya na mag observe ako ng March 1st on the  three schools, hindi ma approve ang leave ko!

Guess what? My leave was miraculously approved (It was hard to have a leave kapag walang Perfect Attendance Incentive in my company)! You know what that means right?

I have..

to..

let..

go..

of the March 1st...observation.

Goodbye..CDC..goodbye PAUW..goodbye great time with classmates.. goodbye..

" Am really ready for this, Dad?"


March 1st. I chose to be in the Traning Day. I have peace but I'm still wondering about the observation and the things that I just let go, hehe.

8 AM thoughts: Oh, nasa CDC (Child Development Center) na sila..

9:30 AM:  Ayan nasa PAUW (Philippine Association of University Women - UP Child Study center) na siguro.

12:30 PM: UPIS (University of the Philippines Integrated School) na sila nyan.

Is this the labor pain? Ang sakit talaga nya eh. Pero in the midst of pain,  in the midst of what I'm going through, I'm in awe that He still used me. Did One 2 One with my dear friend and co-worker. Yes! Chapter 2 na kami! #Lordship

Eto na ba ang ending? Syempre hindi pa. Hang in there my friend!

I chatted my classmates and they were all saying how fun the school observation was. One even sent pictures and videos of what they observed (Hi Caren!Thank you!) . I was told also na.. ako lang.. ang wala...ako lang.. ako lang..

"Dad, did I just really let that go?" "Did that just really happened?"

Naiiyak pa din ako while writing about it.

I was honestly so sad and I know fear creep in and my mind was.. I don't know. Yes, I move, walk,  talk , sometimes laugh.  I know Sya lang talaga yung strength ko  at that time, barely holding on to Him... I think He knows I was kinda crushed.

Kaya naman, as I attended the Thursday youth service the next day... taraaaannn! Ay grabe!! I love those times! Yung feeling mo yung buong service ay para sayo? Praise and worship pa lang kung makatulo na ang luha mo ay parang  gripo na? hahaha.

Alam nyo ba yung topic sa LEGIT week 2? It's Jesus' question :


"Why are you so afraid?"


And it hit me. WHY AM I SO AFRAID? DO I STILL HAVE NO FAITH?

If you have fear right now my dear friend, allow me to write yung mga tumatak sa akin nung gabing yun:

"I am the LORD, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27

Storms in life are expected to come.

Hindi nagugulat si Jesus sa problema mo. It will not overwhelm Him.

In everything and anything, HE IS IN CONTROL.

When we don't understand the power of Jesus over the storm, we will end up fearing the storm.

Jesus can calm not just the storms around us, but also the storm inside us.

Fear cannot co-exist with FAITH.

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. (Psalm 56:3)

- hagulgol na ko dito ayyyy

You can go through that storm because Jesus is with you in that storm.

"Lord, no matter what, You are with me. "


For more messages that I heard, you can visit here: http://www.victoryubelt.org/podcasts/

I call myself  "Princess in awe" because of the privilege of witnessing His might and power, His expertise in impossibilities and all .. like when I went to Korea or nung nakapasa ako sa UP and many more.

Pero hindi ko akalain na  I'll be a "Princess in awe" as well in the midst of the storm , in the midst of whys, pains, tears, doubts.. SOBRANG  in awe of His comfort, of Him being so mindful, of His encouragements and cheers. Amazing God talaga.

After the youth service, feeling ko, ang liit liit na lang talaga ng problema. As in!  Yung future ko, yung buhay ko, sa Kanya nakasalalay. Jesus is for me and not against me. Knowing His power,  I prayed..

"Dad, I know for me it's impossible, pero for You, possible, can I observe three schools tomorrow? *puppy and mugtong eyes"

Checked my e-mail when I went home and taraaaan!!!

Pumayag na din daw ang PAUW na mag observe ako! PAUW-UP and UPIS na ako! Pero no letting go of CDC pa rin, so kinabukasan..

I went to CDC kahit na wala pag confirmation and asked kung pwede mag observe... everything just went smoothly!  Yes, pumayag sila!

Yes, tatlong school yung na observe ko on that day. Yes, it was fun and yes, I learned.

Letting go of the observation was unthinkable for me. He knows that. He knows me too well.

But then He actually helped me in letting go of the thing na alam Nyang hindi ko kayang i let go to lead me and to save me from pag talon sa bangin, I mean from reprimand sa office.  Hahaha.

He is indeed our ONLY Savior.

If you're praying for direction my dear, I declare that HE will lead you to His will NO MATTER WHAT.

Galing ni Lord noh?

May this encourage you. :)

A spring of water flowed from UP!

He turned the rock into a pool of water; yes, a spring of water flowed from solid rock. - Psalm 114:8 NLT 

This post is about my  enrollment feels in UP, the recent upgrade of my faith,  and above all, His glory and power in the midst of it.


Enrollment feels

Yes, I was qualified for admission for the Certificate of Professional Education program of the Univeristy of the Philippines - Diliman (College of Education). Yes, I'm done with the orientation and  by God's grace, passed the medical exams too. Yes, I found OUR (Office of the University Registrar) , passed my  honorable dismissal from PUP and  got a temporary CRS (Computerized Registration System)  account.  Not just that.   I was also miraculously  granted a Service Incentive Leave for the day of my enrollment (January 12, 2017)!

January 12 (or so I thought). It thought it's the start for our enrollment  (Non-degree students) but it was suddenly changed into January 11!! Waaah!At, guess what? January 11 ko ito nalaman!

And SO WHAT  if it was changed? Well, have you heard? UNAHAN SA PROF/ SUBJECT SA UP!!!! I think 30 slots for undergrad subjects and around 16 slots for graduate subjects!!! I even read some blogs and news reports about students camping in school just to be the first in line for the coveted slots! Whoaaa!

So ganon pala sa UP. Will I still have slots if I'll go in the  afternoon of  January 11 or morning ng 12?

Here's what happened:

I went there in the afternoon of January 11th. I realized pwede naman pala makita sa CRS yung mga subject, sched, prof, available slots etc. pero nun ko lang nalaman. I borrowed my co-CPE student's phone and saw "0/30" or "0/16" on the subjects that I want to take. It means 0 .. zero.. wala nang slot!  Not only na wala nang slot but, hindi din pasok sa sched ko yung iba. waaaaahhh!!!!

 For pre-advising, my adviser was in a hurry since I'm the last one for the day. I was struggling with the pronunciation of the Prof's surname etc..  kinda worried because the subjects na pwede sa sched ko are the ones na wala sa plan kong i -take and at the same time, wala na din slot!

I was saddened as I remember  how panicked I was and worried. Which I know is not honoring kay God (I repent, Dad :"() . My thoughts were clouded with what ifs.. "what if hindi ako makapag enroll, what if hindi ako tanggapin ng mga prof.. what if parang maging katulad  lang din to ng missions na hindi natuloy, what if hindi ko kaya yung mga subjects? Wala ako background nun!!!"

That was the rock. THE SOLID ROCK.

I left affter the pre-advising. I decided to talk to the professors the next day. Inhale. Exhale.


Upgraded faith.

I talked to Dad at Mcdo and I'm in awe again of how He is such a comforter and encourager.


Hosea 1:7b

"..I will free them from their enemies - not with weapons and armies or horses and charioteers, but by My power as the LORD their God"

not through me, but by His power!

"Trust Me. I am your helper. I am your shield."

Hosea 2: 15a

"I will return her vineyards to her and transform the valley of trouble in to a gateway of hope."


Wow. He will transform the valley of trouble in to a gateway of hope!!!

And then, that night was the third prayer meeting in our church (Victory Ubelt). I met ate Ayen and Ate Marianne. I hastily asked them to stand with me in prayer for my current situation. It's really amazing how the church can encourage you. Ate Marianne said "Kaya yan, yung dagat nga nahati Nya eh!". Whoa. And I was reminded.

We prayed,  worshiped God, magnified His power, His sovereignty. I realized I fail to do that earlier. I saw the situation bigger than My God and that is a "No, no!"

Before we go home, Ate Marianne, prayed for me. It was so comforting and my faith was really built. I remember her saying the words, "delight in Him and He will give you the desires of you heart". "His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts."


His glory and power

I went to UP at around 8 AM the next day and waited for the professors. While I'm waiting, I tried my best to just trust in Him and His words. I was really holding my breath.  I then read these verses:

Ruth 3: 1a


And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask.

Psalm 138:8a

The LORD will work out his plans for my life--for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.


What an encouragement again!

The professor came. I talked to her and she was really hesitating at first to accept me. She sounds so nice and compassionate. Indeed an answered prayer already. She accepted me even though 0/16 na. She made the maximum number of students into 17 so may isa pang slot for me! I want to cry in front of her! Salamat po sa pink slip!

Not just that! She's also the one who talked to the other prof if may slot pa for me.  She said "Yes!" she can also change the maximum number of student. From 17 to 18!!!


Oh how our God moved!

"See my daughter, see how I've made it happen."

What-a-privilege to witness how mindful and powerful He is!

YESSSSS! I can move on na! Few more steps pa and I got my Form 5 (registraton card)!! Went to the cashier to pay for my tuition and ID!

Went to Univ shopping center to buy a Lanyard and UP shirt and then ate at Rodics. So clueless, sisig yung inorder ko, Tapsilog pala yung best seller dun! Awww next time na lang.

Went back to Eduk and confirmed if enrolled na ba talaga ako pagkabayad ng tuition.

Me: Enrolled na po ba ako (showing my Form 5)?

The office of the college secretary staff : Oo, enrolled ka na.

Whoa. This is it Dad! Student na talaga akong muli! Seryoso? UP student na talaga ang little girl na nangarap!!  I know You'll continue to save me, Dad! Have Your way in me in this new season. Kamsahamnida Appa!

He turned the rock into a pool of water; yes, a spring of water flowed from solid rock. - Psalm 114:8 NLT

Yes, a spring of water flowed from UP!