When God writes our Love Story (part 1)

His story before her eyes

January 13, 2020 Monday


It’s the day after the Taal Volcano erupted. It’s the day that suddenly a mask became a necessity in life. It’s the day that my small group leader went home after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl.


While at work, I received a message from our common friend Jayson wanting to visit the new born baby. He asked me to wear a mask on my way for precaution. I told him I didn’t get to buy one. He said he had extras and will just hand them to me later.

Suddenly, the husband of my small group leader asked us to come some other time because they need time to rest. I thought it’s okay. Maybe we can just visit next time. My friend suggested though that we still meet because he will give me something.

“Yung mask?” I asked.

“Hahaha. Iba pa yun.” He answered.

And I agreed.

I went home first and changed to a more comfortable set of clothes (jeans and our outreach T-shirt). I admit that I wondered what else he would give me. I told Dad, “Dad, maybe he would give me A. Pasalubong (he just got back from Cebu) B. A book?”


On my way to Morayta, along Recto Ave.( while I was just staring outside not really thinking about anything), a taxi appeared in front of me with an MX3 ad at the back and it includes a verse. It’s Ecclesiastes 3:11a which says…

“He has made everything beautiful in its time”.


What I felt after I received the Word was definitely indescribable but it’s somehow a mixture of awe, joy, excitement, wonder and nervousness.

I prayed in the Spirit and in my mind. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I prayed for God’s will to be done.


On the second floor of a chicken place, there he was. He laughed at what I'm wearing as soon as he saw me since I looked like I'm going on a hike or an outreach. He then went down to order.


As for me, I searched for Ecclesiastes 3:11a on my Bible app and stared at it while waiting and talking to Daddy God.


"Dad, what do You mean? Is it really going to happen now? Now? No, maybe not. I don’t think so. Yes? No? Your will be done. "


He came back, we ate and chatted. I eventually thought it's just one of our normal chikahan time.


He then said he remembered that he'll give me something...

"Ou nga pala may ibibigay ako sa'yo!"

"Yung mask!" I said.

And I'm right.

He handed me the masks.

Then when I looked at him again, he's holding a box of dried fruits. It's a pasalubong from Cebu!

On my mind, "Sabi ko na Dad, pasalubong eh! Pero bakit ang laki naman neto?"

While having those thoughts and thanking him, I looked at him again and he' s holding something else… an envelope, a letter.

I asked if I should read it now or later. He said it's up to me.

"Okay, now na lang."

And I read it.

He honored and thanked me for our friendship, but at the end of the letter.. there's a sentence that surprised, shocked and kinda bewildered me...

"And I want you to know that I'm now ready to take our friendship to the next level..."


And it's like everything stopped, everything became blurry, and I felt like I'm not myself(I need to ask him how I looked at that time. Hahahahaha Love?) I was so not ready.

I'm glad I was still able to open my mouth and say something...

"Paki elaborate nga Cher…"


Then he said a lot of things..his intentions, vision, plans etc.( I really regret not recording it huhuhu. )

I could only remember a few lines that made it harder for me to breathe..

"I see you as my wife...as someone I can spend the rest of my life with .. someone na ipapakilala ko sa pamilya ko…It's something that I'm really really sure…" (non-verbatim)

At ang dami na po napulot ng mga men na may balak mag lay down dyan. Hahaha.

I then asked questions like "Why me? (though sinabi na nga nya sa letter)" And "What's God's Word for you about this?" And he answered.

I don’t know what else  to say and I apologized for not having any speech or whatever.

After some time, he gave a small sunflower that he hid in his bag. 😊🌻

I was honestly so so so happy!!!!It's a dream-like kind of happy. What? Basta sobrang saya. 😅

But I know it's something that is not just about me or him...It's ultimately about God and His will for us.


I remembered my conviction that I will only enter a relationship that will bring Him glory and honor.

I prayed on my head..

"Dad, I'm so happy… but, are You?"

I needed some time to pray and think about saying Yes to courtship.

I’m grateful that he said that there's no pressure to give him an answer right away.

And so I didn't answer yet at that time…




When I went home, I couldn't believe what just happened. As in parang panaginip lang talaga. Honestly, I dreamt of him laying down his intentions for about three times already. I would then wake up and think "Oh, It's only a dream".

I was tempted to pinch myself to check if it really happened. I kept looking at the sunflower and the letter he gave... they're my proof that it's real!


It's real and I really need to seek God for this.


I needed just a few days to review what Daddy God's been telling me on my devotions. I also talked to my leader and sisters in Christ.


Eventually, I said yes to courtship..

How I answered was our #kwentongJollibee.


He was there waiting for me, wearing a yellow shirt holding those three big yellow sunflowers.

We ate dinner and he's just supposed to give me some baby stuffs for our friend's baby. Before we said goodbye, I handed him a prayer list for the persecuted churches around the world. At the back, I wrote…


"Jayson,

Thank you for waiting. Yes, I allow you to pursue me."


And the flashback starts...


2017


I was learning something new. My lesson with Dad at that time was treating my brothers in Christ as that - brothers, not potential boyfriends. I was really determined to have pure friendships.


I prayed hard and the next day, I met Jayson in Kids church. I remember being so comfortable sharing how God brought me to South Korea. I got my first impression then - He’s a good listener. He could be a good friend.


We became friends on Facebook (I don’t know how that happened or who added who), co-volunteers in Kids church, teammates in Singles Camp (Team Solar!) and batchmates in Leadership 113.


Somewhere in between (I don’t know what’s happening to me), I started to be attracted to him (I guess I failed to guard my heart). I just found myself happy when he’s around at our church events and a little sad when he’s not.


I had thoughts or visions that one day, he would send me a message and one day I would sit beside him in a bus (I knowwww it’s soooo weird! I didn’t understand what’s happening to me either).

I started to follow him on Instagram and after some months I guess, I checked if he’s following me too. Guess what?

He isn’t.

He’s not following me!!!!


I then came to my senses.

I’m nothing but a churchmate, an acquaintance. Not even a friend.
And so in an instant, all that attraction or whatever weird I’m feeling... totally disappeared.





After some months though, My grandma was not feeling well and I posted a status asking for prayers.
I was so surprised when he sent me this message:

“Praying for your Lola Lydia, Aicah! God is sovereign :)”


I remember being so shocked.

He actually sent me a message.
He sent me a message?!
He sent me a message!

It was just one of my wishful thinking right?! I just couldn’t believe it! And so eventually, the weird feeling totally came back.


I started calling him “orange” but I can’t remember why. I would be happy when he would greet me with a happy birthday saying that I’m a blessing to the next generation or when he lifted a chair for me on one of our training sessions at Kids Church. I even started talking about him to my friends and co-teachers. Hehe. Obvious ba? Crush ko na ata talaga sya. Hahaha. (Love, Belle knew about you even way back in 2017 omoo)





December 2017


There was a sudden plan for a Christmas dinner with the other kids teachers. I thought of something to give them that was both personalized and affordable. I had an idea to give them printed pictures of their 2017 highlights. I visited their timeline to grab some pictures and on his, I saw the smiles of the children that they’re reaching out for in an outreach. We ate at Mad Marks Glorietta and there I heard more about Hike for Christ Movement.

After the dinner, we’re on the same way home so sabay kami. I was honestly so kilig and Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect” was just playing on my head.

We rode the bus together. We were standing in the bus at first but then he found a seat for me. He eventually sat beside me.


He sat beside me on a bus.
He sat beside me on a bus?
He sat beside me on a bus!

Another vision came true. I was so amazed!!!!!

“It's amazing how He kept my heart together.

How I was still allowed to breathe, to laugh, to listen and to speak.” 

I wrote more about that night here:

http://princessinawe.blogspot.com/2017/12/it-was-just-dream.html

After a month, my lesson from Daddy God was being “outward-focused”, I wanted to do more for the Gospel. I then saw on Facebook that Hike for Christ Movement will have an Engage Event soon and I instantly had a desire to be a part of it.

Okay, so...Hike for Christ Movement.

Jayson is a part of that and I am well aware of my feelings toward him.


It's such a recipe for the wrong motivation of doing a thing right?


I had to pray and assess myself hard.

Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote on my post about my first hike for Christ:


“I doubted my motivation and intention. Am I really doing this for Him alone or am I just gonna do it for myself? :"( I needed some time to think about that because, I'm not so sure of my heart. I needed to surrender to Him and to His purposes and will alone. "Dad, I don' t want to go if this is just about me and my selfish desires."

Fear crept in too. I talked to my friends about it and one well- meaning friend asked me if I'm sure about it because she heard some volunteers died few years ago while crossing a river for an outreach event. The other volunteers were also traumatized. She asked if we have to cross a river, and I said I'm not sure. She advised me that if we have to cross a river, please, if possible, ask for another route.

I started asking, "Dad, is this wise?Should I back out if we have to cross a river? Is this really Your will for me? "

I'm really amazed when He let me encounter these words:

"...stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

Princess. in awe. indeed.

GRABE. Okay, so stand firm daw. Trust tayo.

He knows I needed more encouragement so eto pa..

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. Psalm 91:11-12

For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9b


The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

YAY!!!! Okay, Lord. Let's do this!!!!”



It involved risking my life.


That’s how I knew I’m not doing this because of my crush but only because of my Christ.



Off we go!
It was such a great time doing an outreach. I was eventually asked to be a part of the HFCM’s Core Team. I had to really ask Daddy to help me guard my heart. It was really tough ‘cause I will see him more often and he’s always been so kind to me.

And he did continue to be so kind to me and I know he is to everyone else (thanking Daddy God for not allowing me to be an "assumera").


I had  then a cycle of admiring him, surrendering to God, letting my feelings go, admiring him again, surrendering to God and then letting my feelings go again.


There were many times that I cried hard just for Him to help me get rid of my feelings (I even did some extreme measures just to guard my heart like hiding some of my posts from him so that my motivation will not be so that he could see them and also to be guarded from unnecessary kilig every time he would react).


“Daddy, please...if it’s not him, take these feelings. If it’s not him, I know it’s someone better and if it’s not me then someone better.”


It was honestly tiring and I was really disappointed with myself (because I'm so struggling).


One day, God amazingly helped me when I eventually had a revelation on Proverbs 31:12...


“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”


It talks about being a blessing to my moG (man of God - how I call my future husband) even before I meet him. I was continually writing to my future husband at that time and my lesson from God was loving him even before being with him. I realized that admiring or being into another man while waiting for him doesn’t bring him any good so I got to stop.


Not just that, for almost a decade, I had the ultimate lesson of Jesus being my ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment, of pursuing Jesus first before marriage hopes and dreams and so does serving more than searching for moG.


And so slowly (yes, slooowwwwwlyyyy), by His grace, I was able to treat him purely as a brother. I was eventually able to be really happy and excited for him if ever he will soon lay down his intentions to pursue another lady.


I started to really focus on loving Jesus and his man for me. I learned to honor and genuinely enjoy and love my season.

It was such a beautiful time.


By December 2019, I received a Word from the book of Ruth,


“One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for.” Ruth 3:1


My heart quickened in the phrase “it’s time” and “permanent home” (ok pwede na rin “you will be provided for” hahaha). 

All I could say was, “Okay, Dad. Thank You! In Your time, in however way You planned it.”


And another Word…


“Then Naomi said to her, “Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won’t rest until he has settled things today.” Ruth 3:18

Whoa, the man won’t rest until he has settled things.

“Okay, Dad. Your will be done.”

While preparing my faith goals for 2020, I received another Word,

“For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19 NLT

Something new.


Something new happened indeed.

For years, I consistently wrote “moG”, “to be moG’s friend” or “to know who moG is” as my faith goals . It was automatic. But this year, I surprisingly hesitated. I surrendered everything to Him. I simply wrote and prayed that I want a “God-written love story”. One that He alone wrote. I surrendered the pen (including my own timeline hehe).


During our prayer and fasting week, I received another Word from 1 Samuel, the phrase “..I will send you a man..” spoke to my heart.


And I responded again with “Okay, Dad. Thank You. In Your time, in however way You want it to happen.”



January 11, 2020


I found myself at the Planetshakers’ Rain concert. It was God’s early miracle for me. I stored in my heart the revelation that I would really be anywhere or any situation that He wants me to be. There, I had a great date with Jesus. I was crying most of the time because my heart was just overflowing with His love and security. He was so enough for me, for this heart. Waaaah I’m gonna tear up writing this! Jesus, I’m so grateful!!!

January 12, 2020


We had a new year HFCM gathering at Buddy’s Shopwise Cubao.While walking around, naiiyak ako ng sobra. I think grabe pa din yung pagka overwhelm ng heart ko how I could live this life with Jesus and that He is so enough for me. No matter what the future holds, whether may moG or wala, as long as I have Him, I will definitely be okay and in awe!






Anyway, during the HFCM gathering, we shared some of our faith goals. He shared his and one of them is to finally pursue someone (I can’t remember the exact words but something like that hehe). I found myself being so excited for him along with the others and we cheered. I got excited to know who that blessed woman is. I know she’s a great woman and gonna be the best for him. I’m surprisingly genuinely happy for him!!


As for me, my faith goals were more on my relationship with God, studies and board exam, when they asked me about having a love life this year...I simply answered...


“Bahala na lang sila mag-usap ni Lord."




And they did.

The next day, Jayson laid down his intention…



When I think of God’s story of us, I remember the story when God gave Eve to Adam in Genesis 2:


18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man[c] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.


21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[d] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.


The Lord made a woman….and He brought her to the man.


The Lord made me, He formed and prepared me towards becoming the woman that he wants me to be over the past years. I had a great Father and daughter time and it was such a great adventure. Even before he would have feelings for me, God has been working in my heart already. Oh, how He planned to bring me to this man all along!


Sometimes I wish our story was different...na hindi ako yung unang nagkacrush.... Na sana hindi ganun...na sana ganito.. But… that’s how He wrote it and if it didn’t happen..am not sure if it would be this beautiful…


In all these...


Definitely all I could say is,

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” - Ecclesiastes 3:11a

He beautifully wrote it. What an amazing writer!!!!                                                                                    

                                                       

God's princess, are you ready to be in a relationship?

I was asked this question last weekend and upon pondering about it, I remembered what I've been taught through the years and how God is actually "readying" me .

Here are some of the things that I've been taught that I'll be doing if ever I'll enter a relationship and how God is allowing me to start doing it even in my current season (hopefully, this could help you somehow in your journey):

1. I will be a suitable helper.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

How am I being one now? Through my absence.

Maybe my absence is helping him find all the significance and love that he needs in God alone. Maybe it's helping him develop his character, being the best that he can be in his career or having a deeper relationship with his family and friends. It could also help him save or invest his money, di ba (hahahaha)?

If my absence in his life right now is helping him, then I'm already being one.

2. I will support him.

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a

How am I doing it now? Through my prayers.

For sure, he's going through battles and struggles in this season too. I could only support him through covering different areas of his life in prayer.

3. I will submit to him.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.Ephesians 5:22

How am I doing it now?  Through trusting his leadership.

I never want to rob him of the privilege of leading our relationship.
I trust how our God would lead him into the right time and circumstances.
It's me being careful not to indirectly lead our relationship by trying to manipulate things etc.
It's really a matter of  full submission to our God first and then to him.

*whispering: I really believe he's a great leader.

4. I will be faithful to him. 

Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life. Proverbs 31:11

How am I doing it now?  Through being careful with how I treat my brothers in Christ and guy friends.

I'm always being reminded: "If ever your future husband is with you right now, would he be honored with what you're doing/thinking or would he be hurt?"

I don't want to hurt him. Thus, I'm constantly praying  for emotional and mental purity for his future wife. :D

5. I will die to myself.

Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.” Mark 14:36b 

How am I doing it now?  Through surrendering my desire time and time again.

Marriage hopes and dreams can come really strong to a woman. As for me, I think I've been wanting to meet the right one since I was 14 (well, I'm almost 27 now)!!

 I've got to learn to constantly offer my deepest desires at Jesus' feet.
To trust in Him and His perfect and beautiful plan for my life.

Kung ako lang ang masusunod, dapat ganito, ganyan... but no, I'm learning to die to myself.
I believe that He knows better. Way way better than me. 


6. I will share my life/inner thoughts/emotions to him.

 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

How am I doing it now?  Through communication (What??)

I write to him etc.

Expressing myself to him reminds me that I am reserved for him. A reminder for myself that someone in the altar is waiting for me. It  honestly makes this season sweeter and it's a great practice for me to not hold anything back and just be true to him.

7. I will bring God glory with him.

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:21

How am I doing it now?  By being faithful in the mission that God called me to.
Sabi nga ni Ms. Acel, "Maging tapat kung ano man ang nasa iyong kamay".

Parang nasa kanya kanyang mission trips lang kami in this season.
He has his own and I have mine.

As we bring him glory today (individually) I believe we'll bring Him greater glory together in the future.

And that's the sole reason why we'll enter the relationship in the first place!  His glory and honor (never my "clingyness" nor loneliness)!!!


So, am I ready?

Am I ready for the whole new and different level of  helping, supporting, submitting, being faithful, dying to self, sharing my life and bringing God glory?

I don't know.
Only my Creator and Molder knows that.

But isn't it exciting that you can start doing what you're supposed to do in the future?Teehee!

All of this boils down to loving him even if I'm not with him yet. 

She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 




Just a reminder God's princess:

Whether we have an earthly prince or none, whether we'll be an earthly bride or not;
We already have the Heavenly Bridegroom (Jesus Christ) whose love will never be taken away from us.
We are His bride and in Him, we'll certainly experience the most glorious wedding of all. Teehee!


PS

Pursue Jesus.
Serve.

For more on this topic you can also read:

http://princessinawe.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-to-do-before-true-love-comes.html
http://princessinawe.blogspot.com/2019/01/ps-what-to-do-on-your-single-years.html

Book recommendations:

Emotional Purity  -  Heather Arnel Paulsen
When God writes your love story - Eric & Leslie Ludy

Dear future husband, I stopped waiting for you...

I stopped waiting for you to make my heart sing. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me smile the brightest. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me know that I'm loved. 

I stopped waiting for you to make my spirit soar high up above. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me safe and secure. 

I stopped waiting for you to have an adventure.  

I stopped waiting for you to live out my purpose. 

I stopped waiting for you to be outward-focused. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me complete. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me so "kilig". 

I stopped waiting for you just to have a company. 

I stopped waiting for you just to cease being lonely. 

I stopped waiting for you to open my bottled water.   

I stopped waiting for you to shower my special days with flowers. 

I stopped waiting for you to know that  I'm beautiful. 

I stopped waiting for you to live life to the full. 

All because Jesus came

Jesus came and this heart knew completion. 

Jesus came and  this heart was filled with all the "kilig". 

Jesus came, and  this heart just overflows. 

Jesus came, and I'm just too in awe. 

Then I started waiting,
Yes, I am waiting...

 on Him.

I am waiting for His promise.

You're His promise to be fulfilled.

And I am utterly excited.

I'm excited to know you.

I'm excited to serve you. 

I'm excited to listen to you. 

I'm excited to pray for you in person. 

I'm excited to encourage you. 

I'm excited to be proud of you. 

I'm excited to believe in you and with you.

I'm excited to help you.
I'm excited to submit to your leadership. 

I'm excited to support you and your calling. 

I'm excited to glorify God with you. 

Happy Heart's Day

P. S.

Pursue Jesus.
Serve. 

Love,
your future wife 

Why I still have NBSB

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

The old me:  "I'm not pretty enough".

 If  I were the old me, I would repeatedly tell myself "It's because you're  not pretty enough, not good enough. There's something really wrong with you!"

It was so dreadful. It wasn't really easy for the younger me because I believed back then that life is all about education and a boyfriend (really). I remember being so desperate. Those who knew me then would agree with  this. I remember asking my PolGov professor one day with this question  (out of nowhere),

"Sir....magkaka boyfriend po ba ko sir?"

 and his response was out of this world (mind you haha),

 "Oo naman, mas maganda ka pa sa kalabasa"!


What does he mean? At least for me, it means,  I'm not as pretty as the other girls. I continued thinking "No one will love me. I must not have any standards na. Basta lalaki okay na!"




In between: "I have to meet Love Himself first "


When I was 18 though and in the midst of all these insecurities,  I met Someone. Someone that made me realize that there's really something wrong with me (sin) , but He took care of it already. Someone who told me that I'm beautiful twice over (because He created me and saved me). Someone who said with His life and blood that I'm precious and worth dying for. (I'm honestly so kilig writing this! HAHA!) I met the BEST MAN ever. My THE ONE - JESUS CHRIST.

 I'm THAT BEAUTIFUL to  HIM? I'm THAT PRECIOUS  to HIM? SOMEONE LOVES ME?  WOW.

I slowly shrugged the thought that I'm not pretty or good enough. (slowly, yes, it took years and years for me to fully embrace who He says I am because there are times that insecurity creeps in. I'm grateful that He keeps on reminding me of His love and my identity in Him.) I learned the process of taking my eyes off myself and what's  beautiful for the world and look to Him.


"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"  2 Corinthians 5:17

The new me.


 It's surprising that nowadays people were surprised whenever they would discover that I never had a boyfriend nor a suitor (YES!) I hear them say , "Weh? di nga? baka hindi mo na agad pinapansin", " Irereto kita sa pinsan ko teacher!"  or "siguro ang taas taas ng standards mo."

STANDARDS. The old me didn't have this but now, Yes, I do have. I do have high standards - God's standards: Someone who also met Love Himself  in between and loves Him more than  he could ever love anyone (even me).

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

1. God is molding me. He's really doing a big work in my heart. I have to be molded to the woman God wants me to be. A woman who's so whole and complete in Him. A woman whose pursuit is His purposes.


"... people used to tell me the best way to prepare for marriage was to date around and to get into all of these short-term flings. I learned the hard way that that wasn’t true, but what I did realize in that season of my life was that the best way that I could prepare for marriage truly was to learn how to find my fulfillment in Christ, how to make Him my First Love, how to cultivate that spiritual purity in my life where He was my All in all."  - Leslie Ludy

2. He's prepared a man for me. My MOG. Not an other half but an equal match. He is also whole and complete in Him. No need to settle for anything less than what He wants for me - His best. I'm sure He is still doing a big work in his heart too (hehe).


3. It's not yet His time. I know He knows when it is the sweetest. Just like what is written in the book of Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in its time". 3:11a


If it's His will, walang makakapigil.
If not, we surrender to His good, pleasing and perfect will. :")

I really dread letting others know that I have NBSB but now,  I'm surprisingly joyful. I think I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm amazed. As I look back,  it was like my THE ONE protected me all along and ensured  na Sya ang magiging FIRST SUITOR,  LOVE at YES  ko.

 I'm glad that He is.

And for you, princess, whatever status you're in, whatever the condition of your heart right now -hopeless or hopeful, shattering or healing.... it's not too late. One day,  you will also meet THE ONE in between. The One who loved you first. He loved you first. He's fighting for that moment.

Let Him love your first.

"Let Him love you first.

Before you allow the right guy to pursue you, give your yes to the Lord first.

Because God wants to show you how you should be loved.

He wants to give you heaven and earth before anyone can promise you the sun and the moon.

He wants you to experience his genuine intention to serenade you with His goodness and mercy.

He wants to rejoice with you and quiet you with His love.

He longs to have a lot of your “firsts.” - Joena San Diego 

It's such a beautiful beautiful Love story. You and Jesus.


P.S.

 And Only He knows when the heart is ready for the second one. :")

Photo by Blubel on Unsplash

When it's hard to breathe

            I don't know if I could blame the allergy or what... but last month ,  there are times that  I just found it hard to breathe. I felt  a little pain on my chest and on my back too. I felt it once while I'm teaching and the other one before going to bed.

            I remember telling my student, "Is it (inhale ) okay (inhale) if I will (inhale) take (inhale) a deep breath (inhale) like this (inhale) in our class?"

            It was just so hard, I don't even know why I suddenly felt that way.

            All I could do is be reminded of the bleeding woman in  Luke, imitate her by touching Jesus with my faith. I cried out to Him and believe for healing.

           After some minutes though, I felt better and I could even eat lunch with my co-teachers. Thank God for the relief!


             But then after some days, while I was in my home in Bulacan, it happened again. I was about to go to sleep and it's .. it's hard to breathe again.

              My natural tendency was really not to bother others when I'm hurting. As much as possible, I'll try to endure on my own. My family were sleeping and I don't want to disturb them or to add to my Mom's worries. Thus, I just prayed (are you surprised? haha). I prayed for healing and I surrendered as well. If ever it's my last night here on earth, I offered my soul to Him  and I also wrote my goodbye letter in my Bible (in case it's time for me to go to my real home - heaven, para ready! ).

             My "goodbye letter" it simply consists of me trying hard to share the Gospel hehe....

             I wrote:

"If ever I'm gone and already gone to heaven, don't be sad because I am with my beloved Jesus. 

My Lord and my savior. My all-in-all.

Please don't forget that Jesus is the only way to heaven! Please stop trusting in yourself! Start trusting in Jesus alone!

Romans 6:23!

John 3:16!

Ephesians 2:8-9!!!!

I love you, but Jesus loves you more than most!

This is a great life only because of Him!

Love,

Ycs. "

Ang OA noh? But really!
It's  my hope that even my death could still be used for the Gospel to be heard, known and believed.

I closed my eyes. Not knowing if I could still wake up.

But hey! I'm writing today so that means.. I woke up!!! (Are you surprised?HAHA)

Found  myself crying....

I woke up... I. woke. up! 

Maybe I could still offer something in this world.

When it's hard to breathe, I learned about numbering my days.

I suddenly had that greater desire to do something that could really impact people's lives. I hope that I'll just be able to do my best, give my best and love at my best.

I learned more about appreciating every moment, every season ,every friendship, every events,every struggles, every food (haha)...

I'm grateful that I could still finish my second sem in UP or that I was able to share my faith to a classmate, that I was able to be Fuu of Magic Knight Rayearth for a day or just pray one more prayer  for the nation of Nepal, Jordan or Bhutan.  I get to  hug my Mom tighter, to laugh with my brother, to make Stephen smile and simply read the Bible to my Lola or just ask her again "Maganda ba ko?" hahaha!

When it's hard to breathe,  I remember still thinking about my future husband. Hehe.

"Daddy, if it's my last night, paano na si MOG?"

And then I realized that his is a great life only because of Him!

I'm  continuously learning  that life, that this life,  is simply all about Him. Dancing with Him, looking at Him.. enjoying Him. It's still a life worth living. It's a beautiful life.  :")

I'm still not that completely healthy physically these days... I still have my allergies at night, slight fever, colds, cough, headache, sore throat whatever

but hey..

He is still God and  I'm  still breathing.

"Joy unspeakable, faith unsinkable,

Love unstoppable, anything is possible

Just to know You and to make You known

We lift Your name on High

Shine like the sun made darkness run and hide

We know we were made for so much more

Than ordinary lives

It's time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive" - Thrive, Casting Crowns 

Declaring for healing to come and that for me to be a better steward of this body and of every breath!  In Jesus Name. Amen!




                                                                                                      Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

What a woman (or a man) needs to be in every season

"Healthy marriages are comprised of individuals who find their security and significance in Christ."

Last Tuesday, during our Leadership 113 class, we learned about the course "Marriage and Family". The objectives of the course was for us to grasp the purpose of marriage, family and parenting, to be encouraged to value  and guard marriage and family and to be inspired to have a Christ-centered life, marriage and family.

I know some of my classmates who were so excited for this and I wouldn't exempt myself. You ought to know that I'm so futuristic and I love things that would just prepare me for the future. Ever since I got the vision of having a Christ-centered marriage and family, I just can't help but be excited.

I learned A LOT. But what struck me the most is the great  difference of having Christ  in a relationship. It'll be really awesome if all couples would realize this. Allow me to share this to you, my single or married friend. I hope I could explain it well. :)

"Healthy marriages are comprised of individuals who find their security and significance in Christ."

Most, if not all, man is always after having that sense significance. They want to be valued and respected. While for a woman, she is always after having the sense of security. She needs to be secured that she is loved and accepted. If Jesus is not in the picture, they will find their significance and security in other places. For single people, it could be from their crush, career, savings,  family etc. but for those who are in a relationship,  most probably from their

boyfriend/girlfriend,husband/wife. 

During my B. C. (Before Christ) times, I was the expert in being insecure. I think I was the most insecure girl that you would know. I based my significance and security in my relatives, teachers, classmates and yes, even  crushes. No wonder I felt so unloved, ugly, not good enough, insignificant, nothing (Bakit kasi hindi ka crush ng crush mo di ba? hahaha). Indeed,  insecurity could be so dangerous  and it really distorted  the identity that God has given me.

According to our teacher, this is how it would look like when a woman start to feel insecure: 

She will fail to appreciate her husband. She will start magnifying the things that she sees is wrong more than his effort. When that happens, the husband will start to feel insignificant. He will start communicating less to a nagging wife. He will choose to watch NBA  all day  or go out with friends more that facing her. Then the wife's insecurity will just grow and grow, she will nag and nag, and the husband will continue to feel more insignificant until they just grow apart.

Here' s the beautiful thing  though when you have Christ as the center of your marriage:  As a woman, when you find your security in Christ alone, no matter how your husband fail or fall short in making you feel loved and accepted, you will always have that source of love, source of acceptance and source of security. It'll just overflow and you will just appreciate your husband's effort and choose to respect and talk to him in a good way. In the same way with man, when you find your significance in Christ alone, no matter how your wife or your job fail or fall short in making your feel significant,  you will always have the source.

After learning that, I realized the importance of being secured in every season. If ngayong season palang insecure na ako at hindi na si Jesus ang source ng security ko, paano na lang in the next season di ba? Pero more than as a preparation for the next season, this is in the first place what we're called to be in Christ.  If you truly understood His unconditional, eternal love, you'll be SECURED in every season.

So woman, what do you need to be in every season?  Be SECURED.

So man, what  do you need to know in every season?  You are SIGNIFICANT.

Praying for your Christ- centered and healthy marriage! :)

PS.  MOG, you are significant and by His grace,  I'll always choose to be secured in every moment. ;")

Updates+ YouTube + UP +Discipleship+Summer

Yay! Yay! Yay!
 Ycah here (of course)!

After watching tons (?) of  videos of Janina Vela and Nate Punzalan (yes, I'm a self-confessed part of #Velafam and #punmily) on Youtube (check 'em out!), I just feel like blogging again (since I can't Vlog. But I really want to! Wala eh, no editing skills nor better camera yet. Yes, yet? hoho. So dito muna tayo).

What?Ang SABOG din eh noh?

I was just inspired by these siblings to just express myself kahit na sabog pa in my sight. Nate said, just release it and you''ll just get better at it. It uplifted me not just in writing blog posts  but also in writing my... wait.. what?

Case study? School observation report? Educ Journal Report? Critic paper? Reports? huhuhuhu! #studentfeels

Yes, this is my UP update. Can I just be honest?  I'm overthinking about  these things  and ending up being unproductive. They are always in my thoughts.. being  unfinished or not yet started simply because of having no idea how to begin. I'm having this struggle of "staring at the blank paper" kinda thing. Or honestly,  procrastination kind of thing? which is really really scary. It prolongs the agony!!! Please rid me of myself. *inhale *exhale #saveme

Been loving school life though.

 The campaign period started and it's nice listening to young people's advocacies. How brave! Ended up praying for them while listening..oh young people. Soon, you guys will also fight for the Greatest human right (wait what is it? Basically, people hearing the Gospel). I declare.

I enjoy learning Child Development! Yas.  Soon matatandaan ko din ang mga theory na yan. Huhuhu. Nice 'cause I have 5 year-old and one-year old cousins plus I teach kids once a month in church. What I'm learning  is really  helpful. How? Well, I love children better!! I don't know, but  ever since I took this subject my heart just beats and beats and beats for children  and their great future. And  it's nice to understand them and their development better. Oh, #nextgeneration

Minor kilig involves seeing Zorro ( he talked to me and pat my back!No, not that I have a crush on him though), walking from EDUK to OUR (pwede naman pala), makisabay sa car ng classmate going to Katipunan, madaan ang AS (Palma Hall) everytime pupunta sa school and my consent letter where I can read "Jessica May Padayao, a student of UP College of Education". #teehee #nuks

Next is discipleship updates! Just went to the "ENGAGE" conference last March 24 over at MOA  Arena. I was with Ate Cams Duhino (yes! Ate Japanese food (sukiyaki) with her. She's so generous..and I'm... I'm  so shy!!!)  and then we also met Kevin (such a blessing! He bought our merchandise!!Yas! New shirt!) Yay! We made it! We finished all the activities before the start of the conference!!

As always, I'm in awe. 12,000 Victory group leaders and interns in Metro Manila worshiping and having fun together??! WHUT?!!! Personally, I met and prayed for an intern from Victory Pioneer!

And .. shhh.. I got kilig too!

1. The thought of.. "Is my MOG here?" (Wow, if yes, we're in the same plaaacee?!!! And that's kilig right? MOG stands for Man of God btw)

2. I saw a guy! He's so familiar!!  Why? He was one of the Candy Cuties in Candy Mag in my time. Now you can see him in a Metrobank commercial  I think. Wow. Don't know his name though  #starstruck lang hehe.

My take home:

-Don't live a life of "do what I say but don't do what I do". (Practice what you preach, Ycs!)

-Do not lose your "SALTiness"!!

-Pastor Steve's new book - The Multiplication Challenge! (That's not a Math book, hehe)

Anyway, speaking of discipleship, I was over the moon when I started doing One 2 One with Wilma (my co-teacher). But then, we didn't finish yet 'cause she's leaving for Thailand soon and I'm .. I'm...:"( .
Still believing that God will grow the seeds in her good heart. :)

Alright, done with the UP and discipleship updates now let's have... SUMMER UPDATE!!!!

I'm thrilled and overwhelmed.  We'll have Junior Kids Bonding in a resort soon and also...

Beach. White Sand. Snorkeling. Star Gazing. Rock formations. Corals. Moana captions for my photos. Boat riding and above all, praying and hearing a Word together. That'll be next month for me. My heart is beating wonderfully against my rib cage you guys.

I still don't know if I'm going to register to PUP Alumni Summer Bonding and Singles' Camp 2017. I would definitely love too! As in!!! But the thought of spending my savings brings tears. Is it wise? What's the fine line between.. shortage mentality and "you cannot spend what you do not have|?" (ANO DAW)  Still learning.. learning.. learning...

That's it! Thanks for reading! For your next adventure, May you enjoy the Creator more than the creation my dear friend!

 Bye!

PS. I finished this post. Matatapos ko din ang papers for acads right? *puppy eyes

Early days of Being 23

I was reading Ms. Patty's blog earlier and I'm just so inspired to write again about what's happening these days.. these early days of being 23.

Some of the highlights were my tummy's breakthroughs. Haha. I ate T-bone Steak and Lamb for the first time! I ate the steak during my birthday celebration with VF's over at Artsy Cafe. I loved it when I said "well-done" to the waiter when he asked me how I like my steak to be done. It was really delicious and it's fun to eat since I need to use a knife. HAHAHA. Ang babaw ko talaga noh?

Anyway,  then I ate  the Lamb kabab last  night in Mister Kabab  with Marian. We did our One 2 One there. It's a little salty for me and I just shrugged the middle eastern flavor (I'm not really a fan of that). Because it's a Lamb, I feel like maybe I could see one in person one day. (yes, I really would love to see one!) That made me happy and excited. So it's a fun experience too!


Next is, I'm loving Kids ministry these days. We just had our General Assembly last Saturday and it was really awesome. Great bonding time with them! Ah, too bad that I'm gonna miss the Christmas party this coming Saturday! (You'll know why soon.;))

Last Sunday, I attended my coaching group and my leader taught us about being a shepherd to our spiritual daughters. I realize and I know now that it's not really easy taking care of the sheeps. You really got to be careful. So careful. It made me more amazed with my own Shepherd that Jesus who laid down His life for the "maarte" "messy" and "dumb" sheep like me.  Oh Daddy, help me to become the shepherd that you want me to be for the girls.

One of my girls is having a hard time right now and I feel like I can't even help her. I feel at times like I'm not really being a good and wise leader. Huhuhuhu. But I can pray and remind her of God's truth and promises right? We'll keep on fighting.


Another thing that happened was during the Intercessors' meeting in PUP, I shared a Word to them for the first time! Grabe si Holy Spirit nun! Iba. Bongga. Ang galing! I shared the verse Luke 16:10 and Kuya Tim even thanked me for the Word!

I just really want to document these moments, these early days of this amazing year of my life. I decalre promotion in every way, to overcome struggles, spiritual growth, adventures and to bless more people. Happy Thursday!


P.S.


Feeling ko may dalawa akong crush these days. Hinahangaan.. ganyan. Pero kino conquer ko. Guarding my heart. Kung iisipin kasi .. having a crush or crushes is having unnecessary kilig, unnecessary pain, thoughts, hopes etc. Brothers mo sila. Friends. Let it go. Merong Tamang Panahon. Emotional purity, emotional purity!!!

Whew,  I'll just really be myself, enjoy Jesus, know and  do His purposes for me and bloom in my relationship with Him (that's the most important).  I'll just wait for MOG to have the courage to tell me what he prayed for and his intentions. Aja!

Women's Meeting 2015

Notes while listening to the Women's meeting podcast:

1. Clarity


Clarify it in your heart!


Define the relationship in your heart.
Friends lang kami until may sabihin sya.
Wala ito. Period.
Don't read too much.
Wag masyadong kikiligin.


2. Honor


We now have the freedom to honor each other kasi walang malisya.
Culture of Honor.
Every person is worthy of honor.
Honor with your thoughts -

 Don't think  "ok to, pang future to." "ayoko nito..hindi magaling mag english"


Honor with your words.


We are leaders but we are also ladies. Let them be a better man.


Honor with your clothes.


Dress modestly.
You want them to focus on Jesus not on your legs or chest.


Be beautiful. So that the men will notice you.
Ang mga bubuyog lumalapit sa makukulay na bulaklak.



3. Wisdom


Listen to advice.
Distansya pag na fa-fall na.
Guard yourself.


Love languages:

words
gift
service
touch


The best gift that you can give to your future husband: A whole, undivided and complete heart.


Wisdom comes by experience.


Listen to people who've gone ahead of you.

My Salvation Story

            Hi I'm Ycah/Jessica/ May/Ycs/Ycsiee. I was only 6 when my Father passed away and then eventually,  my Mom got married again. My brother and I was left in the custody of my Aunt, Uncle and Grandmothers.  Okay, so, Grandmothers. Thus, basically, I grew up in a very religious family. Catholic in specific. I go to church every Saturday afternoon or Sunday mornings. Did I sound like I hated it?  Well, actually, I loved it! :)

 I can say that at such a young age, I learned to hold on to God. With all the happenings in my childhood (wait, I think I would cry, hahahaha)- my Father died, my Mother remarried,  my younger brother passed away, I was  transferred to a public school etc. Really, He's all that I've got. The trials didn't make me mad at Him, instead, because of that, I held on to Him all the more.

I grew up thinking that I'm an outcast. Like I don't really belong. I was so shy to my relatives (medyo may trauma ako sa pagiging out-of-place talaga), cousins ganyan. I would hear people talk negative things about me at my back. They don't want me to study because I would just be a burden. That's one of the hardest thing for me at that time. I love studying yet no one's there to fulfill my parent's responsibility. Education and other things started to become a privilege rather than a right.

Thus, yun nga, I prayed and prayed and prayed to God at all times for me to continue to go to school. Even if I graduated as a Salutatorian, that doesn't guarantee that I will go on to High School.  I hold on to Him, I cried to Him, I talked to Him. Indeed, at such a young age, He became my best friend.

Entering High School was such a miracle.  He used my Aunt to provide for us.

In high school, I became a teenager who's into bands (Sponge Cola), korean dramas (Princess Hours) or teen movies (High School Musical). I was really a fan girl. Really, I had albums, posters, cds, magazines, songmags and all. I would watch them on TV and be so kilig (as in). The next day, the whole class would know that I watched  Yael sa Game KNB? or sa ASAP.

Some would even call me Yael (Sponge Cola's Frontman). He indeed became my identity. Everyone's remembering Yael when they see me or the other way around. He inspired me in so many ways like in loving Ateneo and English... And... even sa crush.

Speaking of crush, I had crush with my friend  (because basically, he resembles Yael) at that time. He is a Christian. We became friends since we both like Sponge Cola. But then, he would also let me borrow his Hillsong United cds. I  listened to it since it's for God.  I find myself  enjoying it.  I remember loving the songs  "Take it all" , "By Your Side" and "Only One".

Here comes college. It's such a miracle again. I passed the entrance exam of the Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP). There, a professor (Ms. Lanie Teves), a schoolmate (Ate Princes Esquivel) and a friend (Ana Fatima Morauda) were used by God for me to know  Him more.

 It all started in the Second year of College (2010).

To continue, here is an excerpt from my past post,  "Youth Service".  It's about the time when I was reached out :


I can still remember very well my first time. I was a Sophomore College student back then with my friends. We were riding a jeepney going somewhere I'm not sure of, with Arlene paying for my fare ;)

I can still remember very well why I said "yes" to the invitation. I said yes despite knowing that I don't really like it. Within me, I'm really persecuting my friend because of attending a "Christian, christian, born again, born again thingy (kailangan inuulit,hehe)". I can never comprehend why on earth she has to "convert". I guess, I still don't know back then the true meaning conversion. I thought it's all about religion.


I don't know back then that conversion actually happens the moment you accepted Jesus as the Lord and Savior of your life. The conversion from being LOST to being  FOUND. The conversion from being a SINNER to being the RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD. The conversion from being a SLAVE to being GOD'S PRINCESS.


So I attended. It was Shout Out series with Pastor Gilbert Foliente. Honestly, here's the only thing I remember on my first Youth Service: "Shout it! Shout it! Shout it out loud!" (a lyrics of the song during the intermission number). I remember sitting on the left front row..hearing the names of Pastor Ryan, Kuya Xave and all. (I really thought ka age ko lang sila nun haha)

It was fun! I just hated the idea that there's a sharing part after the service which they called "VG or Victory Group". But when we started, that's when I actually humbled myself and cry and share..It's so weird for me  since for 18 years, my relationship with God is between the two of us alone. I never really thought that it's possible and it's so great to share about Him with others.

Akala ko hindi na ako babalik. Eh walang tinugtog na Christian song na alam ko.
Ayun, nung tinanong ako, "Babalik ka next week?" edi napatango ako.

----

A year passed and I started doing One 2 One with my dear friend Ana. I learned about the basic things of following Him. I learned about the Gospel  (basically what Jesus did for you and me) and all. I started to pray and fast, attend Victory Group, listen to Worship songs, read the Bible  and then eventually  attend the Sunday Worship Services.

 I fully accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior in a Sunday Service last January 15, 2012.

I just saw myself crying and crying and crying because I realize how unworthy I am. I felt like a slave girl who just realized that she has been set free. At that moment, I knew I came home to my Father. That He's hugging me and that's He's so joyful that I made that decision despite hurting Him because of my sins. His unconditional love is just so powerful.

 I fully understood what He did for me. And then, months later,  I had my Victory Weekend and  publicly declared that I am Christ's follower (that was September 29-30, 2012).

That was the best weekend of my life.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36

I repented and was sorry for my sins. Chains in my life were also broken. I feel so brand new.
Yun pala yung ibig sabihin ni Jesus when He said in John 3: 5-7:

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’

Born Again. I hated this term.  Honestly. But when I realized that it's an experience (being born again in Christ) and NOT a religion, I had a changed perspective. :)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17

As a new creation. Well, from being such a worrier, I learned of trusting Him. From being so selfish to learning to be generous. From being an idolater (anything or anyone you put above God) to being His worshiper. From pleasing my self to pleasing Him. From being so insecure to being secured. From being lost to being found. From being rejected to being loved.

 I may not know exactly the other things that He changed from the old me but I just know that I'm a work in progress now. I still struggle and I still asks, "Am I being a Christian in the truest sense of the word?" Sometimes I worry that I'm not but by His grace, I carry on.

I know that as a Princess, there are rules in the Kingdom that should be followed (I'm not trying to become a Princess that's why I need to follow. It's because of my identity).  There were times that it is  still hard.  But when I look to Jesus, I just know that He will continue to mold me in living in the way that He called and designed me to.

My prayer is for Him to break my heart for what breaks His. I seriously fell in love with this God who let His Son die on the cross for me (For me? for someone like ME? I would really cry every time I would remember and reflect on His love).  It is my desire to love Him more and more and more and more. I know it's nothing compared to how He loves me though. hehe. Parang ganito yung feeling oh:

By God's grace, Christianity is such an amazing adventure.

I often say that I never really thought that this life is ever possible. I never prayed about this, I never imagined this! But still, He chose me. He forgave me. He restored me. He made me new.  I thought I had the best of Him already. But there's....there's .... just more.

My earthly father may not be around anymore  but my Heavenly Father is more than enough. :)

Anyway, I'm so thankful to my Dad  for my friends (turned into a Spiritual Family) who led me and with me  in this such wonderful life in Christ. I have my Victory Friends (my college Victory Group) ,my Singles Victory Group), Victory U-belt Family, LIFEbox/ENC family, Victory Kids Family,  PUP- Intercessors family, Hike for Christ Movement and Team Comets.

"Relationship are resources but God is the only source." - Thammie Sy

All I want now is to be bolder in sharing Christ. I think it's like inviting your family and friends to such a wonderful and awesome place and experience.

I started to disciple women. I never thought that I could be a leader but He thought I could! It'll always be a privilege to be used by Him in changing the world of a woman through bringing her closer to Jesus. :)

Right now, I hope to enjoy and maximize my season. I desire to go on missions and be a blessing. I want to explore. I want to do more. I only have one shot in this life, I'd rather live for Jesus. :)

                          I'm praying and waiting for my Man-of-God (moG)  and then we'll build a family for His glory.  I'm so excited. (kailangan ko talaga isingit ito. HAHAHAHA)

As C. S. Lewis puts it    “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

I'm so thrilled. I think the reality of Christ is even better (way way better) than Fairy tales. :)

My dear reader, I know you're having  or you will have your own Salvation Story . My prayer is that you'll also encounter God's  great love.  He will continue to pursue you. He will never give up. Don't think twice and give in to His love. That's the best decision EVER.

"My (your name), look at the cross... this is how much I love you.. I gave everything just to be with you. Will you let Me in your heart?"

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

- Ephesians 3:16-19


For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.                           -Romans 8:38,39

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

Here I am Lord, mold me...here I am Lord, use me..