25 and in awe

Today marks my last day as a 25 year-old woman. Wow. In just a few hours, I'm officially in my late 20s! I can't believe it (sometimes I feel like I'm just 14!)  So let's try to remember what God did in the 25th year of my life here on earth:

My 25th  birthday was celebrated with co-workers making cupcake for me (I  was so happy already) and also  with Kids family for the first time! Yung may cake (gusto ko talaga ng cake at that time). I think we had a Junior Kids bonding at that time.

It was a first time to have a Christmas bonding with Junior kids teachers also at Glorietta (as far as I can remember). I gave them pictures of their 2017 highlights. That's when I saw the smiles of Aeta children and heard more about the  Hike for Christ Movement.

My Nanay Lydia and Tito Cesar went home to heaven. It's God's grace to be able to go through those storms. Trusting... trusting...

I experience my first outreach in the Aeta community (Sitio Banawen)!It's called "Engage" event. We shared the Gospel and bless them with hygiene kits. It was such an answered prayer! I also get to help to share the Bible story! I met new friends like Ate Chaye, Pau, Earl, Albert, Lorainne, Kuya Bryan, Van,  Ate Grace etc. I also met a young Aeta  girl named Aileen. She got my number so I gained a textmate? hehe.

I get to take an undergrad subject in UP!!! WOW. WOW. WOW. At, math sya ah! Ang babata at ang brilliant ng mga kaklase ko! Huhuhu.

I get to share the Gospel to one of my UP classmates! This is too wonderful.

I met my new classmates and became a part of our "Monday Group". I miss them! I miss Mhean, Kim, Nick and Kwin!Hi guys! 

I got 1.25 in subjects I thought I will not pass. (EDRE 146 and EDFD 201!!!) Whaaaa. TEARS!!!

I went to Masasa Beach for summer! I experience a lot of firsts!

First time sumakay ng bangka.
First time sa crystal clear water!
First time mag island hopping.
First time mag snorkeling. WAAAAAHH!!!
First time mabaon sa ilalim ng buhangin.

I also had my 2nd outreach in the Aeta Community! We gave school supplies this time.
I get to be one of the Bible story tellers! WAAAAH! I shared about Joseph the dreamer.
I got the help of my friend Edz for the visual aid and the whole family for coloring it!
I met new friends like Kuya Ronald, Kuya Julius, Rose, Ate Sarah, Alphey etc.
We had fun playing games (or not getting the games)  in the dark haha.

First time matulog sa tent! (I miss my roommate Rose!!!)
I was asked to be part of the HFCM Core team. WAAAH!
I saw Aileen (a young girl in the community)  again and went to her home and met her family!!!

First meeting with the Core Team at Lorainne's house.

God enabled me to raise fund  for a  3 -day discipleship mission! I saw how He provided and my heart melts.  Grateful for Ninong and Ninang Nor, Dia, Ate Ayen and Coach Pat. Hindi ko maitatangi ang kilig ko. There are people who actually believe in me!!

But it's still not God's time for me to go on a mission. It was decided to be postponed (due to the weather and schedule). It was like my third heartbreak in missions but continually trusting. One day, one day...

I was not enrolled this sem too. Naubusan ng afternoon slot.  Still trusting.

I lost my UP ID. :(

I met Rose and Belle. (roommates)

Did One 2 One with Pearl, Mikee , Belle and  Lizette. This is too wonderful.

I saw Tita Coney again! (Lola Lucing's friend)  She's still so cheerful and lovely.

I met Kim! One of my violinists on my wedding day! HAHA! She's only 9.

What I wrote for this blog became a part of Ate Pamu's book! WOW. His dreams for me are really way bigger that my dream for myself.

I get to write a newsletter for HFCM. Grateful for the trust when I can't trust myself!

I became part of Kids main hall volunteers and curriculum team! WAAAH! #grace

Attended Kuya Michael's wedding.(Pangako, hindi kita iiwaaaannnn #LSS )

Played badminton with rules for the first time in a long time with HFCM friends!

My brother went abroad. (I miss you bro)

Stephen said "Amen"  for the first time after a prayer!

Baby Jasper was born. :")

I started to learn about having a poured-out life.
I continually learned about Jesus being my Sweeter song, my Bridegroom, my All in all.

It's 7:56 PM of October 11, 2018.

I just went home after dating (in a sisterly way okay? hihi) wonderful sisters in the faith (Celina and Ate Marian). Both making great impact in the world through the Gospel. My heart was so full because of the privilege of knowing them. Their faith and passion for God and the lost are just so amazing. I'm in awe that God orchestrated  the last day of my 25th year this way. It's just too wonderful for me.

I never really thought that my 25th year would be so awesome. I'm excited for my 26th. By His grace, I declare we'll  laugh without fear of the future. :")

 Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. 

                                                                            (Ephesians 3:20-21 New Living Translation (NLT))

                                                                                         Photo by Nadi Whatisdelirium on Unsplash

Christian songs in times of suffering

         

   Here's a little weather report:  It has been so stormy in the past week and the river of tears was just overflowing.

             My stepfather passed away and it's just too sudden. We thought it's only a simple fever and cold. Turned out it's something terminal and he eventually took his last breath. I got the news at around 3:15 AM from my mom. No, no, no! Wait! PLEASE WAKE ME UP!!! I hoped so hard that it's just a bad dream. The storm is approaching hard. 

             Oh, storms. Early in my Christian life, it's been established in my heart that we don't have a storm-free life. Our life is like the Philippines ... may dadating at dadating talaga na bagyo (whether you're a Christian or not). I was also taught na mas marami pa ngang storms ang Christians.  But then, there's hope. 

             Oh, hope. Though we can't have a storm-free life, we can have a storm-proof one. How? By having the right foundation. And our only foundation is JESUS CHRIST. Having  Him can make the pressure inside stronger than the pressure outside. Having Him as the source of  hope, security and peace is everything.

            When I read Narnia, one of my favorite moments is when Aslan was reminding a girl to always remember the word that he spoke to her  because it'll be very hard to hear it once she go to Narnia.

             Same is true with me in my reality. It's a challenge to be reminded of God's Word and who He is when I'm in the midst of a storm. I  tend to forget. I tend to be overwhelmed when I start staring at the storm and stop fixing my gaze on Him.

            I'm grateful that because of  the past storms that went by,  I learned that the best thing to do in times of suffering is to keep on praising Him. It helps heaps to declare to your hurting and weary soul who He is and what He can do.  In the most painful moments, earphones were stuck to my ears or sobrang lakas ng tugtog ng worship songs sa bahay namin! HAHA! It's my suffering hack... and it points me back to Jesus, back to His love, back to my hope and future that He is. It helps me hold on all the more to what He told me in the past.

            Are you suffering? Are you losing hope? Is your faith gone?  Is the fear strong? Is the pain real? Is it hard to heal? Is your joy stolen?  Here's how I fight my battles (but ultimately, He's fighting for us): I read the Bible, be reminded of the past words He spoke to my heart through my journal, ask friends to pray for me, pray and I listen to these Christian songs:   

It is well - Bethel Music

And far be it from me to not believe

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me

Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

And through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

And through it all, through it all

It is well

Peace - Hillsong Young & Free

There's a peace far beyond all understanding

May it ever set my heart at ease

Dare anxiety come, I'll remember that peace is a promise You keep

Peace is a promise You keep

Not today - Hillsong United

Fear must have thought I was faithless

When it came for my heart

‘Cause I got a song that will never die

I know Your love is the reason why

Stars in the sky - Kari Jobe

The stars in the sky will hang there

'til You tell them to

The faith in my heart will still sing

Of what Your love can do

And even when life weighs heavy on me

I know You're in control

And You're all I need

Steady my heart - Kari Jobe

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

'Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart

Find You on my knees - Kari Jobe 

So what if sorrow shakes my faith

What if heartache still remains

I'll trust you

My God I'll trust you

'Cause you are faithful

Our God - Chris Tomlin

                                                               

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

Dessert Song - Hillsong Worship

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

Hope of all hearts - Planetshakers

In darkness,

In trial, my soul shall sing

Of his mercy, and kindness

Our offering of praise

Our God never fails

Our God never fails

Even when it hurts (Praise song) - Hillsong United

Even when the fight seems lost

I'll praise You

Even when it hurts like hell

I'll praise You

Even when it makes no sense to sing

Louder then I'll sing Your praise

Defender - Rita Springer 

All I did was praise

All I did was worship

All I did was bow down

All I did was stay still

Yesterday was the last day of my stepfather's funeral. It still hurts that he'll not be around. I still cry when I remember how a blessing he is to us. I still have the pain, but as I listen to these songs, I know the future will still be bright because I have Him there.

May you also be reminded that God is in control, He is good, He loves you and your loved ones, He is your peace, your victory and NO MATTER WHAT, IN EVERY SEASON,  HE deserves all our praises, worship and all the glory! He is our greatest blessing! More than the songs, it's actually  His love that can keep our heart together. Tara let's praise, worship, bow down, stay still.  Smile for Jesus!  

  There is surely a future hope for you, and                    your hope will not be cut off. 

                    (Proverbs 23:18 NIV)

Alone and Stuck in an Elevator

"Daddy, please... Daddy please save me...Daddy please... please..."

Uttering those words, crying, panicking, confuse, really don't know if what I'm doing was making sense.

It was Monday morning, I rode the elevator and about to get off  at the 29th floor. The door suddenly stopped opening. I tried pressing all the button but nothing's happening. "Daddyyyy". I was trying to be calm at first but after some minutes, tears just fell! I cried and I tried the elevator phone but I think it's not working.


I then  pressed the elevator alarm button repeatedly. Hoping that someone would hear me. Sobbing, I don't know what else to do.


I reached out to my phone but it's running out of battery and wala akong load at wala na ding points!  I kept on crying and making noise.



Like a ray of sunshine in total  darkness, our company guard noticed and he asked me to push the close button since the elevator door is a little open. He helped me in closing the door. I stopped crying (did I?haha). I just know that I was too  happy to see a human being! I was hopeful. Yes, Dad! But just when I thought it's over..


hindi pa pala...


Once the elevator door closed, I suddenly went down to the 28th floor! The same thing happened, the door was not fully opening. I cried hard again. I don't know if anyone could hear me here. It's around 4:35-40 AM. Is there any guards here? Is there anyone at all?

"Daddy, please... Daddy please save me...Daddy please... please...Daddy..Daddy..Daddy..."

I was just uttering "Daddy" in the midst of the noise as I continually and desperately push the alarm button. I was crying louder.

Why?

I was scared (obviously) but not for my life. I trust that I could get out of the cab safely. I trust that  help would certainly come. It's only a matter of "when". That's what I'm scared about , when? At what time? It all boils down to this prayer...

"Daddy, I don't want to be late please... Don't let me be late please.. Daddy please".

Yes,to be so honest, yun po yung iniiyak ko. Ayaw ko talaga ma late. :"( I cringe at the thought of it. Very crucial po ang time in my line of service. :(

And yes, I was eventually saved!  Two men came and the door opened. I rushed out and I was still crying while saying..."Thank you po.. huhu (yes, ang ingay ko umiyak huhu) san po hagdan pa 29th floor?"

Like a lost little girl in the mall...

I hastily ran and climbed up the stairs. The door's locked!!! I knock and knock  louder, louder  and the door opened for me. I was still crying! What time is it? What time is it?!  I then logged in! It's 4:47! 4:47 (I'll be late by 4:56) !!!!! I'm not late!!!! I'M NOT LATE!!!! And I cried again. I can't believe I'm not late. Sagip ulit ako ni LORD!!!!

My heart was so full when the teachers came to my station and comfort me. (Thank you Teachers!!!)

As I reflect on what happened,  I was really regretful how I reacted.

I am called to have a quiet spirit di ba? What was all that panicking and losing hope thing?

I remember my college friend's words when we were so worried about our Thesis years ago..

"Para kayong walang Diyos".

Where was my faith at that time? Why was I so scared and worried? Did I just forget that He is in control? That He's with me? FOR REAL? Anyare sa mga verses na minememorize at minemeditate ko? Psalm 23 pa man din!  I was so shy to Dad!!!

I realized how desperation can just suddenly test faith. 

Obviously, I think I didn't pass. Overwhelming ang fear talaga at that time. Yung faith parang as small as my silent whisper of "Daddy..." in between my sobs of fear.
Yes, I was unfaithful but HE REMAINED FAITHFUL. SO FAITHFUL.
The One who said that a faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain is FAITHFUL.

I realized na mas lalo pa kailangan mag build ng faith muscles. Mas lalo pa dapat mag store ng Word Nya. Mas lalo pa dapat mag hold on!!

I repent and accepted His forgiveness.
I learned and I learned a lot.  Including the practical things kapag na stuck sa elevator or kapag nasa overwhelming situation:

. remember that God is with you. He is real. His love and power even!!!
. find the elevator phone
. press the elevator alarm button repeatedly
. really fight for presence of mind
. cry out to Him
. witness His deliverance
. Trust that He is a good God!!

Out of my distress I called on the LORD; the LORD answered me and set me free. -Psalm 118:5 

I thought I would never ride the same cab of elevator ever again but He  corrected me.
I was taught that I shouldn't let fear to take hold of me. I should get back up again because fear paralyzes. He doesn't want that for me. He doesn't want that for us.

I rode the same cab and riding it again.



                                                                                                  Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Writing for Him

For the past months, I've been doing things that I've never done before or things that I've never even imagined of doing. One of them is writing a newsletter for an outreach event. When it was first brought up, I was too hesitant (because I only write blogs and I almost forgot that comm was my major!). I was reminded though that I declared in my heart that I will not put any boundaries on how He'll gonna use my hands, feet and life. 

I am blessed to be part of the Core team of Hike For Christ Movement now and this was my first task. I resolved to rely on His grace.

Days after, I was so happy to actually come up with this (though this is still for approval!). I was like, "Whoa, this really looks like a newsletter!" I can't believe this! I thank Daddy God for His Word for me last night..

Generation after generation stands in awe of Your work;

each one tells stories of Your mighty acts. (Psalm 145:4 MSG)

Your marvelous doings are headline news;

I could write a book full of the details of Your greatness. (Psalm 145:6 MSG)

I'm amazed when the author of Psalm said "I could write a book full of the details of Your greatness." I realized it's a great privilege to write about Him and what He is doing! 

So here's the newsletter I tried to do for Hike For Christ Movement's Balik-Eskwela missions (this is not the official newsletter) : 

The text isn't  that clear so if you want, you can read it here:

Balik-Eskwela Missions 2018 

We are very much grateful for your partnership in blessing our Aeta students in Sitio Cawag and Sitio Banawen, Zambales through our Balik -Eskwela missions last May 19, 26-27,2018. We are privileged and humbled that God is continually using us to bring hope and faith in the said communities.


At Sitio Cawag


It’s great to go back to this community. It’s been 5 months since we last visited and it’s heartwarming to see familiar smiles all over again. Our team (which was composed of 54 volunteers) was expectant of what God will do in and through us this time.


In this one day missional outreach, we’re able to give 115 school bags with school supplies. Initially, we thought that we will only be able to give school kits, but because of God’s provision through your generosity, we’re amazed that we’re also able to bless them with new school bags.


In addition, we also gave toys to the preschool children, prizes for the games and fed them physically by cooking and distributing snacks (“sopas” and juice).


Most importantly, we’re able to feed them spiritually.


We praise God together, conducted Bible story telling and had a discipleship time with the youth. Specifically, we taught the children to love others as Jesus Christ loves us. We’re grateful that we’re able to share the Gospel to the parents as well. We believe that they could and should be our partner in leading the next generation to Jesus. We must always go back to our mission. We exist to reach out different tribes around the Philippines to share His hope and His love.


It wasn’t only a wonderful time for the community but for the volunteers as well. We had a chance to meet new brothers and sisters in Christ, had a deeper revelation of why we were doing these things through our time of devotion and we were able to use our different skills and gifts so that we can serve more. Some had fun cooking, ministering, preparing the place, teaching, singing, dancing and even acting! Yes, some tasks were challenging, but we declare that we’re unstoppable in doing what God wants us to do. We’re grateful for the spirit of fun, faith and family in our midst. The outreach shaped our faith and we’re forever grateful that we’re there to serve as the hands and feet of Jesus.


At Sitio Banawen

It’s the second time that we blessed this community and it’s great to be back. The 2-3 hours trek just to reach them was really worth it. Our team was relatively smaller (we only had 33 volunteers) this time but God still worked mightily through us.

In this two-day missional outreach, we’re able to reconnect with the children and bless them with snacks, 85 school bags with school supplies and toys. It’s our prayer that they will be able dream big and believe that nothing is impossible with our God.

Just like in Sitio Cawag, we were intentional in sharing what they ultimately need - the saving knowledge Jesus Christ. We shared the story of Joseph the Dreamer to the young ones and presented John 3:16 to the youth. We were also able to reach the parents with the Gospel.

It was also a great privilege to lead the children as they sing and dance for Jesus. To celebrate His great love with them is a sight to behold.

The volunteers had a great time of fellowship on the second day. We reminded each other that Jesus is a compassionate God who can relate to us. We also ponder on what He did on the cross for each of us. We can only love the community that we’re in because He first loved us.

Again, we thank God for you. We truly appreciate your prayers and support to our Balik- Eskwela Missions.

God bless you always!

Hike For Christ Movement

After a series of meetings and heeding suggestions, here's the final look of our Balik- Eskwela missions newsletter: 

This might be not as long as a book but this is from my heart to our God and our partners. 

LORD, have Your way as I write for You

Masasa Beach 2018

In the midst of all the news that  the Masasa Beach is too crowded and becoming dirty, we went there and prayed to still be in awe of God's creation! Being with spiritual sisters in this adventure made it even more fun and delectable! I will be forever grateful that Daddy God allowed me to walk this life with these women - My Victory Friends! Anyway, here's how we went there and what happened (I hope my memory will serve me right, so the time here is only an estimated time, hindi ko na talaga masyado matandaan):


12:30 AM I met Jo and Gab in KFC (near Kia Theater) and then we walked (yes! We went there on foot! HAHA) to Jam liner's Kamuning Terminal (near GMA) 

1:20   AM We arrived in  Jam Liner Terminal. Bought and ate Spaghetti! I was too hungry. Hehe. Waited for the other girls and start na ng tawanan. :)

2:00   AM   We rode a bus going to Batangas Grand Terminal. It's the bus with a signage:  CALABARZON / Batangas Pier   (Php 165)

4:20   AM  We arrived at Batangas Grand Terminal. We then rode a jeepney going to Anilao port (Php 40)

5: 00 AM   We arrived at Anilao Port.  We paid for the environmental fee (Php 30). They will write a number on your environmental fee's ticket. For the boat ride, they will call out the number written on your  environmental fee's ticket.  I saw a watermelon-designed salbabida and we bought it hehe. You'll see how it looks later.

5:30 AM  We rode the boat. Supposedly, it should go to Tingloy port, pero sa ibang port pala ang punta nung boat na nasakyan namin. I can't remember the name of the other port though but it's still near Masasa so don't worry. It's just that it's more expensive. Instead of Php 80, we paid Php 100. Parang nasa bus lang ang singilan dito. May parang kundoktor na maniningil ng bayad habang nasa byahe. More than an hour ang travel time. It was so exciting! It's my first time to ride a boat!!!! I met Ate Millet and her son. She shared to me that she grew up in Batangas and she always ride a boat but until now, she's still a little scared of the waves. I always wonder if I'll have seasick if ever I'll ride a boat but it was tolerable for me. It's great to discover that.

Speaking of waves, I was so surprised nung biglang nabasa ng alon  ang mga natutulog kong friends and nagising talaga sila!  (It was hard for me to hinder myself from laughing! Peace girls. ;))

Life jacket! (it's my first time to wear it hehe)  :) 

6: 50 AM     We arrived at the port (Victory port? just kidding! HAHA). And then rode a tricycle going to our transient  house.  (Php 20) It was one of the most challenging tricycle ride ever AND YET ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TOO! Challenging because nakasakay ako sa likod bitbit ang malaking salbabida, tapos sobrang taas nung paakyat!!! We had to move forward para hindi tumaob ang tricycle! Oh my! And then one of the most beautiful because makikita mo na yung dagat sa ibaba!!! We then walked going to our transient house.

7:00 /7:30 AM (not sure na talaga) We arrived in Teacher Benny's Transient House. I recommend  to make a reservation in  a transient house before going to Masasa. We're blessed in our transient house! Baka gusto mo din sa kanila?

It is near the beach!!

No need to ride a service boat or tricycle

Rate: We paid  Php 350 per head per night 

Offers:

8 rooms with fan, 4 bathrooms & cr, with standby generator in case there's brownout, free use of gas stove and kitchen wares, with grilling station, free use of videoke

May tindahan din sila!!!

Activities:

Snorkeling 

Island hopping 

Mountain trekking to Mag asawang bato 

Visiting a lagoon 

Contact numbers: 09178048427 / 09997762755

We prepared our brunch (rice, maling , kamtis,  itlog na pula and pritong talong) . Ate some bread. Prepare for our photoshoot (wahahaha!) and Island hopping! The price of Island hopping varies and it's optional. For us, we paid Php 365 per head. 

Then we went to the beach. It's true that there are a lot of people (well, not so many I guess compared to the crowd during the Holy Week). Anyway, I was fine with it. I focused more on the fact that the water was sooooo clearrrrrrr!!It's breathtaking!!! (Buti pa yung water, malinaw. HAHA) 

Then these happened: 

Time for Island Hopping!!!!!

Saya "tumindig" sa bangka! ;) 

The watermelon Salbabida! HAHA

First Island : Sombrero Island. Pero, umikot lang kami dahil may bayad ang pagdaong sa Sombrero Island. Php 200 per head.  It's a private property. 

Second Island: I forgot the name. Huhu. Was it "Seyuc Island"? Not sure. It was the island na almost kami lang yung tao. We ate lunch there and went swimming. 

Naging Morena na. HAHA. a pic with Kuya Vic, our bangkero! :) 

For our Magazine spread. HAHAHA

Linaw!!!!

Third Island: Don't ask me the name. HAHA. Pero kami lang yung tao. It's where we had our training for snorkeling. I was soo grateful to learn!!!! #learner . It was too amazing!!!!

Picture muna bago sumabak. 

When we finally knew how, it's time to snorkel!!!!  My mind and heart are still trying to repeat what I saw and felt until now. It's like wala akong word for this. I'm too in awe. It's true when Daddy said that He will let me see "great and marvelous" things. I was singing a worship song or talking and praising Daddy (in my head of course haha) while snorkeling for letting me experience this!  I saw corals, fishes and starfishes. They're soooo cute!!!! I was like in another world for  a while. Whooooooohoooooo!!!!!

After seeing God's wonderful creation below!!! 

Going back to Masasa... 

Some of my friends have to go back to Manila right away.. so we went back to our transient and  settled  the payment.  The girls (who will leave) still need to pay the transient house since may mga nagbago yung sched. Dapat 6 kaming mag overnight pero naging tatlo na lang. Need pa din bayaran yung na reserve na slot so make sure to be sure kung ilan sa inyo ang mag oovernight. :)

We had our short VG. Dessie shared to us about making a difference in the workplace and  prayed "Lord, help us to be there for each other as You are there for each of us".  Then it's time to say goodbye. Awww.

Naiwan kami ni Ana and Arl. We sang in videoke while waiting for the sun to go down a bit. Feeling namin quota na sa sun rays ang  balat namin. HAHA. We also ate cucumber with magkakaiba ng sawsawan. Hihi.

We eventually went back to the beach and found a great spot because the sand is powdery. :")
I love the girls. Grabe. They made my dreams come true... like pagsakay sa salbabida and matabunan ng buhangin. yayyyy!!!

Chat and chat and chat. Sunset.

Prepared for dinner and took a bath.Ate dinner and sleep.


Day 2

5:27 Woke up

6  AM went to the beach. Worshiped God together. Encouraged one another. Sought God individually. Shared what Daddy spoke to our hearts and prayed for each other. I'm too blessed to have them as eternal friends and sisters :")

date with Daddy 

Thank you Mars for capturing and for your life! 

How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. 

 They cannot be numbered!

 I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

You are still with me!

Psalm 139:17-18 

#tears

Prepared breakfast , ate and prepared to go home. We're supposed to go to the famous lagoon pero 24 hours lang dapat sa transient house. Lagpas na kami and may paparating na bagong guests so nakakahiya na. hehe. 

We left at around 10:10 AM. 

We rode a tricycle going to Tingloy Port (Php 20 each) . 

Rode the boat (Php 80) going to Anilao Port.

Bought some candies and pasalubong. 

Took the jeepney going to Batangas Grand Terminal (Php 40)

Rode a bus going to Cubao. (Php 165) 

We arrived at Cubao around 3PM. Parang panaginip ang lahat. :) 

P.S. If you'll go there, please.... BE DISCIPLINED. Magtapon ng mga basura sa mga trash bin not in the seashore. Wag na din mag bonfire kasi nakakasira din sa beauty ng Masasa. Thank you! 

May more people and generation enjoy the beauty of this place.

Ana: Mars, balik tayo!

         Yes, Mars! Tara!!!!!

                                                   *Photos are from Ms. Desserie Dionio and Ms. Ana Fatima Morauda 

Why I still have NBSB

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

The old me:  "I'm not pretty enough".

 If  I were the old me, I would repeatedly tell myself "It's because you're  not pretty enough, not good enough. There's something really wrong with you!"

It was so dreadful. It wasn't really easy for the younger me because I believed back then that life is all about education and a boyfriend (really). I remember being so desperate. Those who knew me then would agree with  this. I remember asking my PolGov professor one day with this question  (out of nowhere),

"Sir....magkaka boyfriend po ba ko sir?"

 and his response was out of this world (mind you haha),

 "Oo naman, mas maganda ka pa sa kalabasa"!


What does he mean? At least for me, it means,  I'm not as pretty as the other girls. I continued thinking "No one will love me. I must not have any standards na. Basta lalaki okay na!"




In between: "I have to meet Love Himself first "


When I was 18 though and in the midst of all these insecurities,  I met Someone. Someone that made me realize that there's really something wrong with me (sin) , but He took care of it already. Someone who told me that I'm beautiful twice over (because He created me and saved me). Someone who said with His life and blood that I'm precious and worth dying for. (I'm honestly so kilig writing this! HAHA!) I met the BEST MAN ever. My THE ONE - JESUS CHRIST.

 I'm THAT BEAUTIFUL to  HIM? I'm THAT PRECIOUS  to HIM? SOMEONE LOVES ME?  WOW.

I slowly shrugged the thought that I'm not pretty or good enough. (slowly, yes, it took years and years for me to fully embrace who He says I am because there are times that insecurity creeps in. I'm grateful that He keeps on reminding me of His love and my identity in Him.) I learned the process of taking my eyes off myself and what's  beautiful for the world and look to Him.


"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"  2 Corinthians 5:17

The new me.


 It's surprising that nowadays people were surprised whenever they would discover that I never had a boyfriend nor a suitor (YES!) I hear them say , "Weh? di nga? baka hindi mo na agad pinapansin", " Irereto kita sa pinsan ko teacher!"  or "siguro ang taas taas ng standards mo."

STANDARDS. The old me didn't have this but now, Yes, I do have. I do have high standards - God's standards: Someone who also met Love Himself  in between and loves Him more than  he could ever love anyone (even me).

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. Why?

1. God is molding me. He's really doing a big work in my heart. I have to be molded to the woman God wants me to be. A woman who's so whole and complete in Him. A woman whose pursuit is His purposes.


"... people used to tell me the best way to prepare for marriage was to date around and to get into all of these short-term flings. I learned the hard way that that wasn’t true, but what I did realize in that season of my life was that the best way that I could prepare for marriage truly was to learn how to find my fulfillment in Christ, how to make Him my First Love, how to cultivate that spiritual purity in my life where He was my All in all."  - Leslie Ludy

2. He's prepared a man for me. My MOG. Not an other half but an equal match. He is also whole and complete in Him. No need to settle for anything less than what He wants for me - His best. I'm sure He is still doing a big work in his heart too (hehe).


3. It's not yet His time. I know He knows when it is the sweetest. Just like what is written in the book of Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in its time". 3:11a


If it's His will, walang makakapigil.
If not, we surrender to His good, pleasing and perfect will. :")

I really dread letting others know that I have NBSB but now,  I'm surprisingly joyful. I think I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm amazed. As I look back,  it was like my THE ONE protected me all along and ensured  na Sya ang magiging FIRST SUITOR,  LOVE at YES  ko.

 I'm glad that He is.

And for you, princess, whatever status you're in, whatever the condition of your heart right now -hopeless or hopeful, shattering or healing.... it's not too late. One day,  you will also meet THE ONE in between. The One who loved you first. He loved you first. He's fighting for that moment.

Let Him love your first.

"Let Him love you first.

Before you allow the right guy to pursue you, give your yes to the Lord first.

Because God wants to show you how you should be loved.

He wants to give you heaven and earth before anyone can promise you the sun and the moon.

He wants you to experience his genuine intention to serenade you with His goodness and mercy.

He wants to rejoice with you and quiet you with His love.

He longs to have a lot of your “firsts.” - Joena San Diego 

It's such a beautiful beautiful Love story. You and Jesus.


P.S.

 And Only He knows when the heart is ready for the second one. :")

Photo by Blubel on Unsplash

To the girl who just met Jesus

I've seen the oceans, the mountains and the snow. But you, accepting Jesus, is still the greatest sight to behold.

I'm excited for you.

You smiled beautifully when we first met. I asked if you've been coming often and you said it's your third. I'm excited. I asked how old you are and you said "Fifteen".  I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you.

We're about to sing a song that speaks gratitude for His love -  "Beautiful Love" and you whispered to me "Ate, favorite ko yan". I'm excited. I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you.

At the end of the most beautiful message of all time, the message of His great love and great plan to save you.  You responded. You responded to His great love.  I'm excited. I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you.

My heart beats fast.. oh girl.. Do you have any idea what awaits?

You will finally stop waiting to know your identity.

You will finally stop seeking  love in other places.

You will finally stop trusting in yourself and your good works .

You will finally stop being out of place.

You will finally stop wondering if you have value.

You will finally stop compromising.

You will finally stop being hopeless.

You will finally stop waiting to be complete.

You will finally stop searching for happiness in circumstances

You will finally stop living for yourself.

You  will finally know more about this God who loved you first.
The God who never stopped loving you and never will.

Oh, I'm rushing things here! Know that I'm just  excited. I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you.

Some of these things will happen in an instant,  but most will be a process.
A beautiful process that you will not trade for anything.

My hearts leaps as I remember myself in you.
I'm excited. I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you.

Oh the places you will go!
Oh the faith that will arise!
Oh the calling that you will answer!
Oh the love that you will give away!
Oh the prayers that you will utter.
Oh the relationships that you'll have!
Oh the dates that you'll have with our  Daddy God.
Oh this great adventure with our Savior.

Every moment will be red-letter.
And you will know that He's the sweetest.





But little sister, it'll not be easy. There are times that it'll be bumpy and stormy.
Be still. Know. Know that He is God. He is God. He will forever be.
And this awesome, loving, mighty, powerful God is in you, with you and gone ahead of you.
He will never let go of your hand.

Be encouraged. Nothing in this world will ever separate you from His love.

Can I just pray for you?

Daddy God,

I thank You. I thank You for the life of this girl who just met You and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. I thank You  for orchestrating this moment from the beginning of time. I'm excited. I'm so excited for her. I'm too excited for the both of you. I'm excited of how You will mold her. I'm excited of what she'll become in Your love.

I know, You will always be her best "Yes".  I pray that You'll just give her the grace  to choose You everyday, to love You and other people more and more each day. May You strengthen her and train her for battles. May You surround her with people who will walk this journey together. May You save her family. May You use her mightily for Your Kingdom.

Thank You, for NOTHING in this world will ever separate her  from Your love.  In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen!

To the girl who just met Jesus,

May your soul forever sing your "favorite" song:

Oh what love, how can it be?

From that cross You looked at me

Oh what love, poured out for me

What a beautiful love

Love

So glorious

Came down unashamed, You called me Yours

Caught up in Your grace, You're all I need

There's nothing more beautiful than Your love

(Beautiful Love by Victory Worship) 

To the girl who just met Jesus,

Remember not to forget.
Never give in to familiarity.
Never ever forget His love. The love that saves. The loves that secures.

The love that cost Jesus His blood and life.

The love that's for you.

Personally.


 I'm excited for you. I'm so excited for you. I'm too excited for you to be a princess in awe.

                                                                                 Love,

                                                                                  Ate Ycah 

*Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash

First Hike For Christ

I wanna set the world on fire

Until it's burning bright for You

It's everything that I desire

Can I be the one You use?

I want to put  the lyrics of  one of my earliest favorite Christian songs - Set The World on Fire by Britt Nicole in this post because it's been my anthem since I heard it in a youth service. I loved and prayed this song.  I believe that God used this to give me a vision that one day.. He will use me, one day, I will be beyond myself, one day,  I will set the world on fire. That's a big vision though and I felt so small...

Just like how it is in the song:

I, I am small but

You, You are big enough

I, I am weak but

You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams

Come and give them wings

Lord with You

Nothing I can not do

Nothing I cannot do

...but He is big enough and strong enough.


Last Saturday (February 10, 2018) marked my first participation in an out of town outreach event. It happened over at Sitio Banawen, San Felipe Zambales.

My journey towards this event and the event itself was simply amazing.

Last December, we had a dinner bonding with my Kids ministry family. I wanted to give something to my co-volunteers to remind them of God's faithfulness over the year 2017.  I thought of giving them printed pictures of some of the highlights of their year. I visited their timelines and chose pictures! One of the pictures that I loved was the picture of the children smiling in Teacher Jayson's post (he's a part of a movement called Hike for Christ Movement  and they had an outreach event in a community last December). I chose that picture and gave it to him. He talked about it and the movement over our dinner and in my heart, I uttered "Dad, I hope I could also do something like that".

I wanna feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land

And tell the broken there is healing

And mercy in the Father's hands

Days after, my grandmother passed away and the brevity of life was taught to me and I also eventually discovered the beauty of outward-focused life . I really wanted to do more for Him in this lifetime. It became a faith goal to serve more and to do more for women, children and the Gospel.

I liked the facebook page of Hike for  Christ Movement (HFCM) sometime last year and I started to see their posts. I was thrilled to discover that they will have an event soon and it's an "Engage" event!  Children + Evangelism! Oh, my heart. Hehe.  "Dad, can I be part of that?"

I remembered  this Word:

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

He planned for me to do good things. He created me anew for these things. WHOA.

I sent them a message, clicked going, last two slots na lang but still can't help but be so excited!

But a few weeks before the event, doubts crept in and so does fear.

I doubted  my motivation and intention. Am I really doing this for Him alone or am I just gonna do it for myself? :"( I needed some time to think about that because, I'm not so sure of my heart.  I needed  to surrender to Him and to His purposes and will alone. "Dad, I don' t want to go if this is just about me and my selfish desires."

Fear crept in too. I talked to my friends about it and one well- meaning friend asked me if I'm sure about it  because she heard some volunteers  died few years ago while crossing a river for an outreach event. The other volunteers were also traumatized.  She asked if we have to cross a river, and I said I'm not sure. She advised me that if we have to cross a river, please, if possible, ask for another route.

I started asking, "Dad, is this wise?Should I back out if we have to cross a river? Is this really Your will for me? "

I'm really amazed when He let me encounter these words:

"...stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

Princess. in awe. indeed.

GRABE. Okay, so stand firm daw. Trust tayo.

He knows I needed more encouragement so eto pa..

 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. Psalm 91:11-12

For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9b
The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."  Exodus 33:14

YAY!!!! Okay, Lord. Let's do this!!!!

Along the way, I'm amazed at how supportive my friends and co-workers are. They gave hygiene kits and donated. I'm beyond grateful for their beautiful hearts! This made me so excited.

Feb. 9    Prepared and slept for an hour
Feb. 10  Walked around Cubao at almost midnight. I'm not sure kung may jeep pa from SM Fairview na dadaan sa may P. Tuazon. Inhale. Exhale.

And, yay! Meron pang jeep! I had a little accident though. Biglang nag preno yung driver because of a cat. Hindi ako nakahawak. My right knee hit the metal at the back of the driver. Huhuhu. "Dad, please. May it not be serious."  I started to kinda panic because it's painful nung tatawid na ko, bigla pang may truck na mabilis so I had to walk faster. Wahhhh! Whew. Great thing that I could still walk well. (Right now, I noticed na may pasa pa din yung knee ko. hehe)

Anyway! I arrived at the meeting place (Jollibee) and awkwardly asked a woman  inside if they are from HFCM. She  shaked their head though. Texted someone from HFCM and asked where they are. He said that they're outside near a speaker.

Yay! I found them! I met Grace and Mat (Hi girls! It's so lovely to meet you!) . It's Mat's first time too and we had good chat. I also met Van and eventually, Jayson arrived and introduced Pao to us. It's her first time too! She is such a sweet young woman. I'm so happy that we're on the same van - Van 1!

We also met the other volunteers  inside the van and prayed before we go.  It was kinda hard to sleep. I don't know.. did I sleep? Maybe I did.Hehe.   It was cold and I regret  not bringing my sweater. :"( Anyway, I'm happy that the other volunteers could finally have a good rest. Hopefully. Hehe.

Ate at Jollibee for breakfast. (I don't know kung saang Jollibee na haha)
Chaye (HFCM's founder)  said something that made me blush. HAHAHAHA.  Ayoko na sabihin. I'll just keep it in my heart. I'm sooooo grateful to finally meet her!!!! (Hi Chaye, if you're reading this, I also want to say to you what you said to me (I hope you remember)  and even more because I also saw a glimpse of your beautiful heart!!!)

Went  back to the van. Tried to sleep and the sun is rising.

Eventually, we're there! The mountains greeted us.  Had a huddle time.Prayed. Got my shirt (Oh, the shirt's awesome!). Carabaos arrived and flashback starts. I remember riding it when I was young in a harvest season (pauwi galing bukid at nakahiga sa mga sako ng palay). Hehe. This time,  walang palay (just our bags) and sumakay kami. :") It's wonderful to experience it again.


Nung tamawid na kami ng unang ilog (eto na, yung ilog!), I was riding the carabao and I was staring at my feet and the water. I remember His word for me:

 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. Psalm 91:11-12

Biglang nagkapakpak yung kalabaw sa paningin ko. It's like an angel used by God for me at that time. HEHEHEHE. Kasi nga na amazed ako na nakaangat yung paa ko sa ilog habang tumatawid!

Glad to have good chat and hugot with other volunteers too like Dina, Albert and Earl!

Pao and I  eventually walked and encountered yung iba pang mga  ilog  na mababaw lang.  I thought,
"eto ba yung mga ilog na kinatakutan ko? Awww Dad, sorry."

Now, when I close my eyes I can still remember the lahar on my feet, the clear water, yung mga talahib and the mountains!!!!

We arrived at Sitio Banawen at around almost 11 AM. We had  our morning devotion and I'm amazed that Lorainne shared the Word that God gave to me for the new year - Ephesians 2:10!!!!!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. :")

We had a delicious early lunch (tinola and tilapiaaa)!!!! And I got another answered prayer (It was a prayer to Daddy to really help and not be a burden)! Earl asked me to help him as he share the Bible story to the kids. (Earl, I hope I did help you. HAHA)

Find Me. HAHA

Had a huddle time with the kids! I talked with two girls and three boys with random ages. It's warms my heart  that they know Jesus. I think when they know Him and call unto Him, they are rich in life already. Why did I say that? because I experienced talking to well-off children who doesn't even know His Name. One once told me, "Jesus, what's that?" That's  one of the most heartbreaking thing and worst than being poor for me.

Okay so back to our  huddle time, I pounded more how great God is in creating things and even greater because He sent Jesus for us. He gave His best for us and nothing is impossible with Him. I wanted to inspire them to keep on dreaming and lift their future to Him. I asked them what they want to be and they answered that they want to be a soldier, policeman, teacher and ...a Pastor! An 11 year-old boy said it! WHOA. Oh, I really hope he would be!!!

We had a group picture and we started giving the hygiene kits, Chicken Joy, toys,  juices, Bibles and some clothes. It was challenging at first to keep things organized because the people we're pretty aggressive and ... excited? hehe. Eventually, it was okay and I had a  little chat with other kids as well. I met Aileen, a pretty girl and had a small talk with her and her sister-in-law too.  I'm surprised when she asked for my number. hehe. I also had a chance to talk to a grandmother. I asked her if she's happy that we're there and she smiled brightly with her yes.  :")

We ate an egg sandwich, cleaned the place, took some pictures, took the group picture, more pictures and rode the carabao again going home.

After 2 and a half hours of staring at the mountains, sharing stories, jokes (HAHAHA PAO!!!!!) , sound trip, praise and worship, we arrived where our vans are. Changed clothes, went inside the van, prayed and exchange stories and funny moments.

Slept and woke up to eat dinner. We ate at Rico's (I think that's in Subic).  Listened to a love story and ate Sinigang na Hipon after a long wait. We went back to the van and sleep... ... .... ....woke up at times and then sleep... ... ...sleep. And tanannnnn! Hello Cubao! :")

Thank You Daddy God for our safety!



Awww. It's time to say goodbye to one of the best 24 hours of my life.  Bid goodbye to the other volunteers  and I'm sad. I walked with Van and Renjo going to Farmers. Arrived at home at around 1 AM and slept  with a supeeerrrr happy heart. :")

Oh what a privilege!
 I'm excited to go and make JESUS famous again in the mountains!

O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them. Psalm 40:5 New Living Translation (NLT)

My hands, my feet

My everything

My life, my love

Lord, use me


1st Photo by Les Anderson on Unsplash
Other photos are from Pao, Dina and Kuya Ronald :")