We have game in my Team 4 Ushering Ministry family about posting our Testimonies. I just felt like to do another version of my Salvation Story. Hehe. This is the fan Girl me Edition. :)
Then: She's Following The Rockstar
Hi Team, I'm Ycah (/aica/).
I was only 6 when my Father passed away and then eventually, my Mom got married again. My brother and I was left in the custody of my Aunt, Uncle and Grandmothers. Okay, so, Grandmothers. Thus, basically, I grew up in a very religious Catholic family. I go to church every Saturday afternoon or Sunday mornings. Did I sound like I hated it? Well, actually, I loved it! :)
I can say that at such a young age, I learned to hold on to God. With all the happenings in my childhood (wait, I think I would cry, hahahaha)- my Father died, my Mother remarried, my younger brother passed away, I was transferred to a public school etc. Really, He's all that I've got. The trials didn't made me mad at Him, instead, because of that, I hold on to Him all the more.
I grew up thinking that I'm an outcast. Like I don't really belong. I was so shy to my relatives (medyo may trauma ako sa pagiging out-of-place talaga), cousins ganyan. I would hear people talk negative things about me at my back. They don't want me to study because for them I'm a burden. That's one of the hardest thing for me at that time. I love studying yet no one's there to fulfill my parent's responsibility. Education and other things started to become a privilege rather than a right. Thus, yun nga, I prayed and prayed and prayed to God at all times for me to continue to go to school. Even if I graduated as a Salutatorian, that doesn't guarantee that I will go to High School. I hold on to Him, I cried to Him, I talked to Him. Indeed, at such a young age, He became my best friend. :)
Entering High School was such a miracle.
In high school though, naging addict ako. Yes, eto na yung addict part. Haha. Naging addict ako ako sa isang lalaki at sa kanyang banda. His name is Yael and his band Sponge COla (the guy in the picture, husband na sya ni Karylle ngayon, haha. familiar?).Rakista at heart (ate Ruffa? hehe) .Yeah. Sobrang sya yung naging mundo ko. Everything is just about him. I remember pinagsasampal ko at pinagsusuntok ang best friend ko (seriously) dahil nilamukot nya yung songmag ko na cover sila Yael nung magkaaway kami (over noh? aww)! He's also became my identity at that time.
Lahat ng kakilala ko, ako ang naaalala kapag nakikita nila si Yael or the other way around. They call me "Yael" (until now may tumatawag pa din sa kin nyan. haha). He influenced me a lot din. I loved English kasi magaling sya mag english. Pinangarap ko mag Ateneo kasi yun yung school nya. Gusto ko din mag Engslish Literature kasi yun yung course nya. Nung hindi ko naabot yun, naging Broadcasting ang course ko sa PUP kasi feeling ko nun yun yung malapit sa Eng. Lit.Hehe. Above all his influences, eh sa crush (blush).
Nagka crush ako sa friend ko na ka semblance nya. For me, he's really like Yael.(flashback starts I'm standing there..)
It so happen that this friend/crush of mine is a Christian. We became friends since we both love Sponge Cola. But he would also lend me his Hillsong United cds. (E di ba iba ang impact ng crush? So I would really listen to it. hehe.)
Pero nang mapunta na ng Manila, alam na! Gig, gig. gig. gig and more GIGS! (ate Ruffa ulit? hahaha) Hanggang umaga sa bar makita lang si Yael kumanta at uminom. I don't drink pero lasing na lasing ako kay Yael.High na high ang feeling. I felt I belong is his arms, in his songs..ganun..I even went somewhere in Antipolo na wala akong idea sa place for a gig. Tapos, may dagdag pa ang hingi ng Tuition para makabili ng album, songmags etc. May concept na nga ako nun ng "unconditional love" kasi feeling ko ganun yung love ko for Yael eh. Sabi ko pa nun "wala nang makakapagpabago ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya!" Lulong na lulong na ko.
Until one Friday ininvite ako ng friend/classmate kong si Ana sa Youth Service. She's a friend na pini persecute ko in my mind kasi I really hate the term "Born Again". I said yes despite knowing that I don't really like it kasi baka may kantahin na Hillsong song na pinakinggan ko nung High School! Crush ko pa din si ka semblance ni Yael nun, so umasa ako talaga. haha. Still, inside, Off ako sa "Christian, christian, born again, born again thingy (kailangan inuulit). Gusto ko lang talaga marinig ulit ang mga kantang pinapakinggan naming dalwa.(blush ulit)
I attended. It was Shout Out series with Pastor Gilbert Foliente. Honestly, here's the only thing I remember on my first Youth Service: "Shout it! Shout it! Shout it out loud!" (a lyrics of the song during the intermission number). I remember sitting on the left front row..hearing names of Pastor Ryan, Kuya Xave and all. (Hindi ka nag iisa, akala ko din ka age ko lang sila nun ;))
It was fun! I just hate that there's a sharing part after which they call "VG or Victory Group". But when we started, that's when I actually humbled myself and cry and share.
Akala ko hindi na ako babalik. Eh walang tinugtog na Christian song na alam ko. Yun, nung tinanong ako, "Babalik ka next week?" edi napatango ako.
Eventually, nakapag One 2 One, Victory Group..In between uma attend pa din ng gigs, pero napapansin ko nababawasan na hanggang sa hindi na. Hindi ko na din naiisip si Yael much. Minsan na lang (in times like this, or kapag pinagpe pray ko na ma save sya).Naka move on na din kay Crush kasi may MOG (Man of God) naman na nakalaan) Hart hart!
I fully accepted Him in a Sunday Service last January 15, 2012. I just saw myself crying and crying and crying because I realize how unworthy I am. I felt like a slave girl who just realized that she has been set free. At that moment, I knew I come home to my Father. That He's hugging me and that's He's so joyful that I made that decision despite hurting Him because of my sins. His unconditional love is just so powerful ehem, more powerful than my love for Yael.
I fully understand what He did for me. And then, months later, I had my Victory Weekend. SOBRA YAN! hahaha! Yung sa Victory over Addiction part? hahahah!
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17
Now: She's following the Rock and the Morning Star
As a new creation. Well, from being such a worrier (SOBRANG WORRIER), I learned of trusting Him. From being so selfish (SONRANG SELFISH) to being generous . From being an idolater (ADDICT haha) to being His worshiper. From being so insecure (SOBRANG INSECURE) to being secured. From being lost to being saved. From being rejected to being loved and accepted.
I really don't know the other things that He changed from the old me but I just know that I'm a work in progress now. I still struggle and I still asks "Am I being a Christian in the truest sense of the word?" Sometimes I worry that I might not.
I know that as a Princess, there are rules in the Kingdom that should be followed. And there are times that it would still be hard. But when I look to Jesus,my King. I just know that He will continue to mold me in living in the way that He wants and designed me to.
I started to disciple girls. Grabe, I never thought that I could be a leader but He thought I could! It'll always be a privilege to be used by Him in building lives. :)
I'm so excited for the future. Imagine nung bata pa tayo, hindi naman natin pinangarap maging Christian pero nangyari. Ano pa kaya yung mga great things pa na wala tayong ka ide- idea? haha.
As C. S. Lewis puts it “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
I'm so thrilled. I think the reality of Christ is even better (way way better) than Fairy tales. :)
Don't you think?
