How God taught me to love an enemy

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. - Romans 12:21

It was all sudden. I can't believe I'm leaving my boarding house and neighborhood  of 8 years. From Manila, I moved to Quezon City due to a threat of demolition. 

I honestly didn't like my new house. My old one was just way better.  Nonetheless, I tried so hard to adjust with all the new things and I thought I  somehow did. 

I started to see the beauty of our cozy little room. The quietness that I long was  there and I had a great sister-in-Christ as a companion. We sang and laughed  together. Shared our learnings and craziness here and there.  

Until one night, one of our housemates came rushing to our room with an angry  spirit. She misunderstood my actions and reported statements. I was honestly  scared, offended and hurt. But Daddy God's Word came to me in 2 Kings 6:21-22

21 When the king of Israel saw them, he asked Elisha, “Shall I kill them, my  father? Shall I kill them?”

22 “Do not kill them,” he answered. “Would you kill those you have captured with  your own sword or bow? Set food and water before them so that they may eat  and drink and then go back to their master.”

 23 So he prepared a great feast for them, and after they had finished eating and  drinking, he sent them away, and they returned to their master. So the bands  from Aram stopped raiding Israel’s territory.

They gave food and drink to their enemy  And it's like Daddy is asking me to do the same. "Talaga ba, Dad?". It took  sometime for that to sink in and for me to submit and obey.  After my shift that day, I  bought her chocolate and grape juice. I wrote a note apologizing if I offended her  in any way. 

Things went well for days. 

Until one Sunday evening, my roommate asked me to go near our housemates'  room for she will talk to me. I was warned by Daddy God early that morning for I  received another Word (Psalm 21:11 Although they plot against you,their evil  schemes will never succeed.) 

I prayed and prayed to be filled with the Holy Spirit as I went near her room. 

Then there were suddenly a series of accusations and harsh words. 

She's accused me of damaging her shoes and blouse that I never saw. Ako lang  daw ang gagawa ,teacher pa man din daw ako pero ganun ang ugali ko,  ipapabaranggay nya daw ako (words that I never heard in my lifetime). I was in shock of how confident she is in making up up lies and stories. I was  struggling not to respond in the same spirit. I was struggling not to raise my voice  as I explain things and defend myself. I also caught myself saying  "Daddy....Daddy...Daddy.." In the end I just said that if the goal of all this is for me  to leave the house, I guess I will but I hope she will stop accusing me of things I can never  imagine doing. 

Disgust and fear started to creep in my heart. I started asking my lawyer and law student friend of what to do with slanderer and what to do once I'm called sa  Baranggay. Inuhahan ko pa nga sya sa baranggay and asked kung paano magpa  blotter and all. Hindi na din ako makalabas ng kwarto agad if I know she's around. 

I started thinking that she will soon make up another story and accusations that  could be damaging to my future. It even came to a point that I don't want to go  home anymore. 

But then as I asked Daddy what to do, He commanded me this time to do another unthinkable. He asked me to give her .... a flower. 

Dad??? Are You serious? How can I? 

I slowly realized that our lesson for the season is loving the seemingly enemy and  hating the real one (the devil). He reminded me that the battle is not against my housemate but against  the spiritual forces of the dark world. I started to pray and really desire for my  housemate to know Jesus too for He is the only one who can heal her from  within. I decided to forgive and I started to be concerned for her soul. 

By His grace, I obeyed. I bought and left a peach rose with a note saying " I loved  you with an everlasting love" -God near her room. 

I'm not sure of what she really thought of or how it affected her when she received it but it was all by faith on my end. 

Accusations didn't stop though and I think she still hates me. But what amazed me we' the lessons that Daddy taught me:  

•  Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Romas 12:21
• A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1 
• God gives us that supernatural joy even in the midst of people treating us harshly. 
• All that matters is obedience. 

Here' s my final thought from all this: 

How could God loved someone like me who's been an enemy of Him since the beginning? Someone so unlovable. Now, I can attest to the fact that it is just so hard to love an unlovable. 

But He loved me anyway, He loved me anyway...the thought brought me to tears. 

May He help me love anyway. 

P.S.

Now, I'm out of that house but I still pray for Ate to personally know Christ one day. Pray with me. 

God's princess, are you ready to be in a relationship?

I was asked this question last weekend and upon pondering about it, I remembered what I've been taught through the years and how God is actually "readying" me .

Here are some of the things that I've been taught that I'll be doing if ever I'll enter a relationship and how God is allowing me to start doing it even in my current season (hopefully, this could help you somehow in your journey):

1. I will be a suitable helper.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

How am I being one now? Through my absence.

Maybe my absence is helping him find all the significance and love that he needs in God alone. Maybe it's helping him develop his character, being the best that he can be in his career or having a deeper relationship with his family and friends. It could also help him save or invest his money, di ba (hahahaha)?

If my absence in his life right now is helping him, then I'm already being one.

2. I will support him.

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a

How am I doing it now? Through my prayers.

For sure, he's going through battles and struggles in this season too. I could only support him through covering different areas of his life in prayer.

3. I will submit to him.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.Ephesians 5:22

How am I doing it now?  Through trusting his leadership.

I never want to rob him of the privilege of leading our relationship.
I trust how our God would lead him into the right time and circumstances.
It's me being careful not to indirectly lead our relationship by trying to manipulate things etc.
It's really a matter of  full submission to our God first and then to him.

*whispering: I really believe he's a great leader.

4. I will be faithful to him. 

Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life. Proverbs 31:11

How am I doing it now?  Through being careful with how I treat my brothers in Christ and guy friends.

I'm always being reminded: "If ever your future husband is with you right now, would he be honored with what you're doing/thinking or would he be hurt?"

I don't want to hurt him. Thus, I'm constantly praying  for emotional and mental purity for his future wife. :D

5. I will die to myself.

Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.” Mark 14:36b 

How am I doing it now?  Through surrendering my desire time and time again.

Marriage hopes and dreams can come really strong to a woman. As for me, I think I've been wanting to meet the right one since I was 14 (well, I'm almost 27 now)!!

 I've got to learn to constantly offer my deepest desires at Jesus' feet.
To trust in Him and His perfect and beautiful plan for my life.

Kung ako lang ang masusunod, dapat ganito, ganyan... but no, I'm learning to die to myself.
I believe that He knows better. Way way better than me. 


6. I will share my life/inner thoughts/emotions to him.

 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

How am I doing it now?  Through communication (What??)

I write to him etc.

Expressing myself to him reminds me that I am reserved for him. A reminder for myself that someone in the altar is waiting for me. It  honestly makes this season sweeter and it's a great practice for me to not hold anything back and just be true to him.

7. I will bring God glory with him.

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:21

How am I doing it now?  By being faithful in the mission that God called me to.
Sabi nga ni Ms. Acel, "Maging tapat kung ano man ang nasa iyong kamay".

Parang nasa kanya kanyang mission trips lang kami in this season.
He has his own and I have mine.

As we bring him glory today (individually) I believe we'll bring Him greater glory together in the future.

And that's the sole reason why we'll enter the relationship in the first place!  His glory and honor (never my "clingyness" nor loneliness)!!!


So, am I ready?

Am I ready for the whole new and different level of  helping, supporting, submitting, being faithful, dying to self, sharing my life and bringing God glory?

I don't know.
Only my Creator and Molder knows that.

But isn't it exciting that you can start doing what you're supposed to do in the future?Teehee!

All of this boils down to loving him even if I'm not with him yet. 

She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 




Just a reminder God's princess:

Whether we have an earthly prince or none, whether we'll be an earthly bride or not;
We already have the Heavenly Bridegroom (Jesus Christ) whose love will never be taken away from us.
We are His bride and in Him, we'll certainly experience the most glorious wedding of all. Teehee!


PS

Pursue Jesus.
Serve.

For more on this topic you can also read:

http://princessinawe.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-to-do-before-true-love-comes.html
http://princessinawe.blogspot.com/2019/01/ps-what-to-do-on-your-single-years.html

Book recommendations:

Emotional Purity  -  Heather Arnel Paulsen
When God writes your love story - Eric & Leslie Ludy

Dear future husband, I stopped waiting for you...

I stopped waiting for you to make my heart sing. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me smile the brightest. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me know that I'm loved. 

I stopped waiting for you to make my spirit soar high up above. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me safe and secure. 

I stopped waiting for you to have an adventure.  

I stopped waiting for you to live out my purpose. 

I stopped waiting for you to be outward-focused. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me complete. 

I stopped waiting for you to make me so "kilig". 

I stopped waiting for you just to have a company. 

I stopped waiting for you just to cease being lonely. 

I stopped waiting for you to open my bottled water.   

I stopped waiting for you to shower my special days with flowers. 

I stopped waiting for you to know that  I'm beautiful. 

I stopped waiting for you to live life to the full. 

All because Jesus came

Jesus came and this heart knew completion. 

Jesus came and  this heart was filled with all the "kilig". 

Jesus came, and  this heart just overflows. 

Jesus came, and I'm just too in awe. 

Then I started waiting,
Yes, I am waiting...

 on Him.

I am waiting for His promise.

You're His promise to be fulfilled.

And I am utterly excited.

I'm excited to know you.

I'm excited to serve you. 

I'm excited to listen to you. 

I'm excited to pray for you in person. 

I'm excited to encourage you. 

I'm excited to be proud of you. 

I'm excited to believe in you and with you.

I'm excited to help you.
I'm excited to submit to your leadership. 

I'm excited to support you and your calling. 

I'm excited to glorify God with you. 

Happy Heart's Day

P. S.

Pursue Jesus.
Serve. 

Love,
your future wife 

P.S. (What to do on your Single years)

Dear God's princess,


        February is just around the corner and you know very well  what it means. SAD or Single Awareness Day is coming. It's more popularly known as Valentine's day.  Can you imagine? There will be chocolates, teddy bears, roses and couples everywhere again.

        As a single woman, I remember one  particular Valentine's day.  It was really such a dreadful day. I was just sad the whole day and I  felt like crying (I think I really cried)! Ako lang ba 'to? Minsan kahit hindi din Feb. 14, it happens, right?

        But then as I learn more/ relearn more from the Author of romance Himself, as I spend time with Him, really listening to Him...  I slowly learned a lot through this season (or should I say "subject" ? haha)  called "Singleness". I didn't actually know na enrolled pala ako sa subject na magtuturo sa akin ng maraming bagay. Haha!

       My major learning is that this season is actually a gift from Him. It's not a problem to be solved, a basis of my security or beauty or a season of punishment that I should hate. It's a season of an undivided devotion to Him actually.

        It says in 1 Corinthians 7:34, “The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in both body and spirit…”

         It sounded too impossible for me at first. Too impossible! How can singleness be a beautiful thing?  But He continued to patiently  reveal that indeed, it's a beautiful season of Him and me (insert You and me by Lifehouse :D).

         I  kept on learning and relearning to surrender the longings of my heart before Him and rest in the fact that if He wants me to be married, He will make a way. He's powerful. He wouldn't even need my help!


         So now, as we desire to honor God more in this season,  how are we to spend this beautiful season if it's not for Pursuing marriage (Surprise!Surprise!) nor Searching for future husband ('cause he's the one who will search and fight for you)?



      Two letters we (yes, me too) need to remember:   P.S.



      Pursue Jesus Christ

           Pagod ka na ba mag assume? In Christ, you can take  a rest. Yung love ni Jesus for you, you don't need to assume it. It's sure, clear,  real and proven.
           He proved it by giving His life, His blood for YOU and me on the cross.
           With that, I'm convinced that He's worthy of our love, of our devotion, of our emotions.
           With that, we can now pursue this Jesus who loves so much above all else! Yes, even more than marriage!

           It doesn't mean that you'll hate marriage or you'll be "boy-hater" though or you will not be friends with your brothers in Christ. It simply means that you will start making Jesus your all-in-all.

As in  legit. Not just a cliche'.

            How will you know that you're pursuing Jesus or other things?
 
             Isa sa mga natutunan ko is to ...  Check your thought life! Sino at ano ba ang lagi mong iniisip? Yung sinabi ba ni Jesus or yung chat ni crush na binigyan mo ng napakaraming meaning?

            Practical way to fight that is once you notice you're thinking of things you shouldn't, start reminding yourself of a scripture or pray for someone to know Jesus or an open door for the nations etc. ;) It's not an automatic thing though, you need to be intentional. ;)
       
           Now ask yourself, where is your fulfillment? Is it in the hope of marriage or in Jesus Christ?

Let me share this verse that I really appreciate these days:

Proverbs 27:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

7 A person who is full refuses honey,

but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry.

         If you're so hungry,  kahit ano lang basta ma fill ka. You really have the tendency to compromise. "even bitter food tastes sweet" sabi nga.  But, if you're full, you can even refuse  the things that would  seemingly  satisfy you. Full ka na eh. You can choose better what to add in your life. Hindi nalang basta-basta ang pagpili mo. HAHAHA. Am I making sense? Sana na-gets mo. I pray you'll be so full in Jesus, so in love that  He alone is more than enough to fill that void in your heart. Mapa February man or December.  :) 

            In every season, you're okay, you're full of joy because YOU  have HIM! Seek to honor  Him even with your emotions. Guard your heart, guard your emotions (cliche' but we obey) and ask Him to protect it.  It's going to be a daily journey of surrender and passionate love for your Heavenly Bridegroom.

              Basically, it's going to be:  Jesus Christ >  marriage hopes and dreams

              Impossible? Nothing is impossible with Him! Let's  ask for His enabling power.

      Serve 

       
              Instead of searching and searching and searching for your future husband, start serving and serving and serving. Look beyond yourself and start looking around. There's a dying world. A lot of people are dying without even hearing what Jesus did for them, without someone who will encourage them. Your purpose to share Him to the world is not on hold. You are called to make a difference in the life of the people around you... NOW!


             Go pour out yourself for the sake of Gospel, go disciple, go serve God in the ministry that He's given you, go serve your family, go do your best in your studies or at work for His glory,  go pray, go give, go encourage someone, go and be used by Him mightily in this season. By His grace, we can be the woman for others that He wants us to be.


           Kaya ba 'to? Kaya! :)

P.S.

I hope you know He loves you. You're precious. You're beautiful. He got you. Smile, princess. Keep running to Him. Let Him have the pen of your  story. He's trustworthy and He's worthy of our all-in-all.




                                                                                                                              Love,
                                                                                                                              princessinawe

For more, please listen to this Podcast:  http://setapartgirl.com/podcasts/how-to-spend-your-single-years



                                                                                                                    Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash

To you who have a boyfriend

This is a letter I wrote for a young woman I love a few years ago when I heard that she already has a boyfriend. The draft resurfaced and I read it again. I realized,  it's the same message that's burning in my heart. I just also want to share it to you  girl. This is from my heart to yours...

To you who have a boyfriend ,


Kamusta?

This message is coming from a friend/ Ate who only wants what's best for you ok?

Since you decided  to have a boyfriend  in this season, I'm just concern because  I know the temptation will be there and will be stronger.

So this is just to encourage you, to beg you..

if ever...

if ever....


he or someone in the future  will ask you to do something that supposedly only married people could do...

Please say NO.

NO.

NO!!!  (With conviction. With all that you are.)

Please be brave enough to protect yourself and your future.

Been counseling women who gave themselves away to their exes and saw how regret, guilt and shame consumed them.  And those are NOT COOL. NOT COOL  AT ALL. (though the world makes it appear like pre-marital sex is cool) .

Know that you are valuable. So valuable.You're bought with a price.

You're just too precious.

 And sex too. Sex is God's  idea  (who else right? ) and it is to be enjoyed at the right time.  It's so precious that God had to protect it in the boundaries of marriage. Kung saan walang shame and guilt!



If a man really loves you, he will respect you. He will wait for you because you are worth waiting for.



Sounds so old-fashioned ba? so KJ (Kill Joy) ? Well,  can you just  call it PJ (Protecting Joy)? Because a glorious joy ( not just a temporary one) awaits you once you decide to embrace His perfect time for this and that is His will for you.


"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God."  (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 )


You'll tend to think that boundaries limits but actually, it  protects my dear.

Payakap ako! Be strong and very courageous! May you always consider Jesus, your first love in every decision.May He be the one to complete you. You are loved. So loved.  And at times, when you feel like you've been so far and you can't go back,  know that you can, you can. Pagtalikod mo, He's just there waiting for you.

"Christ has loved you and gave Himself for you. Everything you need as a woman is found in Christ." - Thammie Sy .  May this reality sink deep in your heart just like how it did to mine when I was 18.


I love you but Christ loves you more than most.

from a friend who prays for you and  only wants what's best for you,

 Ycah / Ate Ycah


Photo by Tord Sollie on Unsplash 

In a journey of surrender

This season has been nothing but overwhelming.

Most cliches are being so real in my life , there are  lessons that I want so much to embrace and treasure in my heart and there's a  new revelation that makes me repent.

-  Cliche's being so real  in my life:

Jesus is everything.
Jesus is our all in all.
A life that's fully surrendered to Christ.
Jesus is in full control of my life.
Fully trust in Him.
All I am for You.
Take it all, take it all.
Only Jesus.
He completes.
He is our sole completion.
You can only be complete in Jesus.
Everything you need as a woman is found in Christ.
Jesus is THE ONE.
I am totally surrendered to Jesus.

Everything. All in all. Only One. The First. All. Fully. Totally.  Sole completion.

Those sayings and words sound so familiar and all this time, I thought I grasp

them well.
I thought I'm doing good in this, but not really. I realized that I'm still learning

and by His grace,  it's  becoming real. Like a flower's petals that bloom in it's time.


In the past, I had the tendency to just fit Jesus into my life, but now I realized that I should be building my life around Him. That He really got to be the reason for  living. Learning about the brevity of life made me think of my life and my  purpose more. In conclusion, life is still and will always be about Him.

Jesus, be my everything.

- Lessons that I want so much to embrace and treasure in my heart:

-Outward-focused life

When I'm so focus with myself, my problems, my issues, my pain, I noticed that I  was not being  productive and it feels like I'm not living out my purpose.  God just  recently opened my eyes to see the need of other people. I happened to stumble upon stories of some  Christian Women in history who changed the world  through their outward-focused life. Women like Elisabeth Elliot, Carrie Ten Boom, Sarah Edwards and Amy CarMichael inspires me in serving more and  in doing more. Their lives are really His and His purposes. They loved Him and others so much and made a great impact in lives of people. I loved this part while reading about the life of Amy CarMichael (a missionary to the children in  India in the 1900s):

"When the children were asked what drew them to Amy, they most often replied 'It was love. Amma (Amy) loved us".

Their lives and situation were not perfect but they trusted God and allowed Him  to use them. Oh to have an outward-focused life!

- WOW Project

This stands for Woman of Word Project.

We're learning about the Bible (it's authority etc.)  these days in the church and  the importance of meditating His Word was pounded on me. I learned that meditating is also repeating and memorizing. Thus, it became goal to memorize  at least one verse a week.

I'm happy that last January I memorized the following:

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God's masterpiece. Created anew in Christ Jesus,  so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 3:20

Now all glory to God who is able according  to His mighty power at work within us to infinitely accomplish more than we might ask or think.

Colossians 3:16

Let the Word of Christ dwell in your richly, teaching and admonishing one  another in all truth, singing  hymms, psalms, spiritual songs with thanksgiving to God in our hearts.

Revelation5:9b

For you were slaughtered and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe, language, people and nation.

This is not just for the sake of memorizing it is for the sake of future use. I'm also learning that  His word is meant to be used. It's not to be displayed. After all,  His word is our Spirit's Sword. We fight the lies using them and grow more in the knowledge of Him.

Let's be women of the word yeah?

-Life is Short

Finding it hard to breathe sometimes, my grandmother's wake,  a booklet entitled "Life is Short (enjoy mo ang buhay)" by William Girao and a talk in our Victory Group in the office about the brevity of life made me think more about life, my purpose and what I'm doing about it. It made me long to prioritize the activities that will just impact the eternal destiny of a person. I'm praying to share the Gospel more and to serve more. Nawa  ang buhay ko'y maging gamit na gamit Nya! Amen!


New revelation that makes me repent:

Proverbs 31: 12

Oh how I'm doing my MOG harm all this time.

Thinking and longing for someone else other than Him and him is not honoring at all. Imagine talking about your man about another man right? oh oh.  I've been writing to MOG about my crush weeks ago and God just made me realized that it's not right.  "All the days of her life" means even today, I've got to honor him. Yes, it's permissible to have a strong  crush on someone today but is it beneficial? I know it isn't. It just make me have unnecessary kilig , thoughts and pain. HUHU.  Nothing against crushes it's just that, I noticed  it's not good for me. Learning to just go and  focus more on what He wants me to do in this season.

I know it's easier said than done (like naiisip ko pa din si crush at times,  I have to just snap it and focus my thoughts on Him and  talk to Him)  I'm just really clinging to His grace in all these.


After all, all things are possible in His Name.  :")

So there, I pray that the cliches that I mentioned above to be more real in my life , for the lessons to be embraced well  and for my repentance to be proven true.

This season has been nothing but overwhelming.

                                                 ***Photos (first and last)  by  Larm Rmah and  Christopher Campbell  on Unsplash

Daddy's whisper: You're worthy.

I love learning.

And these days, I guess  it's not too late to learn more about my worth.

Take this from someone who grew up believing the lies that  she's just a nobody. Someone who always need to earn someone's approval or love. Someone who always long for attention. Someone who's NSSB (No Suitor Since Birth)  and NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). Someone who always always thought that she's not beautiful, there's something wrong with her, no one will like her or that she'll never be good enough (Sponge Cola's Neon on repeat? haha).

It's been obviously hard  for me to believe that I have value. But in His time,  it was introduced to me.

The starting point is when I heard the Gospel (what Jesus did for you and me) and  became real in my life. I was consumed by Jesus'  love for me.  Is it really possible for Someone to love me so much to the point of His death? That He'll trade the comforts of heaven just to be with me? To bear  the unbearable pain that's supposed to be... for me? In Jesus, the answer to these questions is a resounding' Yes'. Just thinking about it can easily bring me to tears.

Wow, Someone cares, Someone shed His blood, Someone loves someone like....me?
So, I have value? I am loved? Can I be secured?




It took sometime for that to sink in. It's  been a process for me.

Have you  heard of the saying that "You must preach the Gospel to yourself everyday." ? I have. But why? Why do I have to preach the Gospel to myself everyday?

Because I tend to forget. I really tend to forget my worth.

 I was reading The Chronicles of Narnia - The Silver Chair last night and I read a great quote from Aslan. It  reminded of my tendency to forget and the importance of remembering. Remembering His word and who he says I am.

Because I tend to forget. I really tend to forget my worth.

Especially while I'm waiting for my MOG. This waiting process has been a roller coaster ride. I will feel lonely some days and then I will feel secure again  after talking to Daddy.  I'm learning a lot in this season about self-worth and security.  There are many principles from women's talks , from my leaders or from books. The purpose actually of this post is to summarize them. Kindly click to the links for my post about those. :")

1. Don't be "assumera"

2. Do the  ABCs of Waiting

3. Know

I was talking to one of my sisters in Christ  one night (specifically on the night of my birthday)  and shes' just telling me about the man who  just laid down his intention towards her. One thing that I learned and realized that night was that MOG is brave. He's got to be brave. It takes courage to initiate a relationship even if he's not sure if the woman will respond as he wants her to respond.  Know your MOG. Know that he is courageous. Know that he is a leader.


4. You will do the choosing

This is what I'm learning these days. One day, I will choose. I will be the one to decide. I will be the the one to be pursued and not the other way around. I will be the one to decide if I want  him in my life. We have roles to embrace pala. This is new to me because I'm really used to be the one na..you know.. after a guy.. I mean parang desperate.. may crush ganyan..like oh sana I -like nya yung post ko, longing for his attention etc. Ang weird nito for me promise. HAHA. Buti na lang si Daddy, teacher din. hehe.

Men are meant to pursue and  initiate . Women are meant to be pursued and respond.

I'm learning din about responding!  My leader told me to ask these to myself when that time comes:

"nakukulitan ka or "naiinspire"?

"pwede na" or "eto na yun"?

One day, it'll be inspiring and eto na yun. HAHA.

Pero right now, for us, women.. enjoy natin tong Father-Daughter season. Yung kayo lang ni Daddy Lord. He has made everything beautiful in His time. May you enjoy every season.  Mag pa mold ka lang. Mas main love ka pa sa Kanya. :")

There are times that I'm still wondering .. "Shocks..Talaga ba? I'm meant to be pursued? I have the right to choose?" Siguro ikaw din at one point. But yeah girl, you are. You have. Not because you are above other women or the man but simply because you're His Daughter and He loves you the most. Daddy only wants nothing but the best for you.

Hear  this: "My Daughter, you're worthy".

PS.

No matter what, may MOG man or wala. You have THE ONE. You have Jesus. One secret on this is the truth that  LIFE IS ALL ABOUT HIM. Yung life mo? Yung love story mo? Yung kayo ni MOG? ALL. ABOUT.  HIM.

What to do before true love comes

Okay, so you realized na you must stop being assumera and that some things are not good for you in this season. You're just tired of being desperate on things na hindi naman talaga ikaw ang totally in control like your love life. Hehe. So what's next? What are you going to do after being crazy about your crush,  your ex or yung pa fall na guy na yan? What are you going to do now that you decided to seriously wait for His time and for His man?

Here's a  blog post that I read years ago and I'm just so grateful to stumble upon it again. It really helped me a lot and I just want to share it to you girls! This one's written by one of my girl crushes - Ate Joei Revilleza. She's  great woman of God and her waiting and love story was  even featured in MMK! I was so kilig when I watched it! She was writing to her future husband and her future husband was writing to her too! Teehee! Pag si God  talaga sumulat ng Love Story oh! Okay, so, let's learn the ABCs of waiting now. :") 

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Single ladies, young and old alike are looking for true love. We get excited and teary-eyed when watching romantic comedies. We daydream of wearing a beautiful white gown, walking down the aisle. For some, true love comes in their early twenties; the others, much later in life. But all need to wait for that one whom God has destined for them. Now what to do while waiting? Here’s my ABC for waiting.

Act like a woman. When I say act like a woman, I mean look respected. This is not really about how you look but how you perceive and conduct yourself in front of other people. Do you want to be respected? Then dress modestly (You can still be fashionable while being modest). How you perceive and conduct yourself determines how people will treat you. Also, learn from older Christian women. As said in the Hebrews 6:12b, “imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

Brothers not Potential Boyfriends. Most women are blessed with male friends from whom they can trust and learn from. Sadly though, women assume other things from the friendship and so do the men. We, in turn, do not enjoy the God-given friendship. I encourage you instead to view your male friends like brothers and not potential boyfriends. Think of them as your friend’s future husbands not your potential husbands and treat them with respect. With this in mind, you will guard your heart from deceit and malice and also enjoy the friendship.

Care for other people. Offer your services to someone in need. Learn to love your siblings and your parents more. This trains your heart to love unconditionally and fills your heart with so much love that you will not seek a man’s love. You will be surprised how much happier you will be when you give love away.

Develop skills and abilities. God have gifted you with a lot of skills and abilities and He wants you to use your gifts. Look for avenues where you can hone your skills and use them to serve God. Be busy! When you do so, you will feel that you are in the spot where God wants you to be and this gradually will lead you to the destiny God has for you. And don’t forget, you would also want your future husband and children to be proud of you.

Express your love for your future husband. When I was waiting for my husband, I rested in the fact that God reserved me for one man. I pray for him. I bought a ring and placed it on my ring finger to remind me that I am reserved for God’s prince for me. When I looked at it, it reminded me of my price and why only one man can take that ring off my finger and replace it with an engagement ring. I wrote a journal to him. The journal served two purposes: A reminder for myself that someone is waiting for me and a gift to my husband on our wedding day. It worked! When you’re waiting, a lot of times you will lose sight of the goal so make yourself reminders of God’s gift at the end of this season. Express your love for your future husband to make the waiting sweeter and worth the wait.

Above all this, be secure that love will come to your life. It may not be how you planned it to be but God has a better plan for your life. As my friend Steph put it, “Fairy tales set the standard too low.” The love story God has written for you will be worth the wait so WAIT!

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

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I tried writing to my MOG (Man of God) some years ago in a journal. I called him "sweetheart, love, sometimes "crush" hehe. After some time though,  I didn't have much time writing with a pen and paper.  I still want to write to him though so I made an online account in one of my favorite SNS so that I can still write to him online. I would just tell him about anything! Like, I miss him..I'm excited to meet him rather, to guard his heart if ever nasa singles camp sya that year or just be healthy etc.

 I'll just send him the link after our wedding. :")

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I just want you to remind you princess  that you're life is not supposed to be a "pursuit of marriage", there's a danger in making "love life" an idol . Your life is meant to be a "pursuit of Jesus Christ" and His plans and purposes for you. If it's His will for you to get married, it'll happen, if not, it's what He thinks is best for you and you'll be okay because not matter what, THE ONE who never gave up loving you would always be with you and He is more than enough. SMILE for JESUS my dear one. You are deeply loved. You are never loveless. :")

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You can visit the original blog post  here:  https://joeirevilleza.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/what-to-do-before-truelove-comes/

I have my True Love

I was riding the jeepney last night when thought about my batch-mates who are getting married or got married. I suddenly have the thought "parang ang bilis naman, they are getting married...they found their The One na.."

Then it's as if God spoke to my heart, "I found you. You found Me. You already have your true love. Don't you remember during your second year in college?"  Flashbacks starts and I smiled. Ou nga noh?!  I have my True Love already. That one thing that I need to find or to have in this life. I'm in a relationship with Him now and that's all that matters, that's all that counts.

The others are still on their way to be found by Him.
On Some, He would use me, on some He would use others.
Either way, I'm excited.  I'm really hopeful for Christ-centered marriages and families.

Ball gown of His Love

 Everytime that I would be reminded of His love, I can just imagine that I am wearing a ball gown.

           The love that I am wearing  is the Love that is unfailing, unconditional, everlasting, infinite, it's beyond what you can imagine. I trully believe that this statement by Dieter F. Uchtdorf is even an understatement: Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.

           But what am I wearing before this ball gown of Love? It's the filthy rag of being lost. I thought that I know love. I thought that what I'm wearing is the best that I could have. I was pretty much used to it because of wearing it for years. The insecurities, "I-am-good-for-nothing" thoughts, the idolatry, the worries and all. I was trusting in my own dress of kindness and sincerity to save me. Not knowing that a ballgown of Love is just waiting for me all this time waiting for me to claim who I really am - a princess.

           As I claimed it, as He authored my faith, I am now a Princess wearing the ballgown because when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior (it means He's the one who calls the shots now and I stopped trusting in myself anymore. I can't be the Savior of myself), God became my Father. He adopted me. I finally have that sense of "belongingness" and being cherished. Afterall, He loved me enough to give His all.

           I want to wear this everyday and smile to the heavens as my accessory. He gave this to me and all I ever want now is for other girls to wear theirs.  
           It transformed how I view myself because I now see myself as how He sees me - precious and such a treasure.

            Just like Cinderella's? But mine is not a fairytale it's the real thing. Jesus makes all the difference.



Did I really fall in love?

We all know the verses: 

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails...

But I want to know 

Did I really fall in love?

I wonder. 

I mean "love" here for the "romantic" side of me. hehehe.

You know, I had tons of crushes before. An even now, being a girl, sometimes I just got really attracted.

I had a 5 year crush on someone.

I also admired one of my Senior in High School.

or even a friend who's really into music. 

I profess someone as my future husband when I was in grade school.

I even followed someone anywhere  and chose the course in college because I think that's the nearest to his. 

Though they are pretty much special, I don't think I loved them. Sobrang reserved talaga ako for my Man of God (MOG) hahahaha. 

Anyway, just a random thought. 

I want to actually love God

 I just read this quote on Tumblr earlier:

"I want to be a woman who lives totally abandoned to the first commandment: to love my Lord, my God with all my heart. I don't want the reputation that I love God, I don't want to write songs about loving God, I don't want to talk about loving God. 

I want to actually love God. 

When I close my eyes, I want my heart to move. When I close my eyes and I look at Him,  I want to feel alive on the inside. I want to look at Him with a fire in my  heart and it's real." 

                                                                                                                          - Misty Edwards


It made me cry when I'm about to teach again. It's always my favorite feeling  when I read something that almost or exactly said what I'm thinking or what's inside my heart for quite a time.


I want to actually love God.

I want to actually love God.

I don't want to follow Him just because I know that I'll have a great life. I don't want to do anything that He wants me to do just because there's a promise with it. I don't want to give so that the floodgates of heaven would open for me . I don't want to be a a woman that He wants me to be just to have a godly spouse or to have a godly  marriage in the future. I don't want to have great faith just because everyone else has. I don't want to look on fire for other people. I don't want to be eloquent in praying just because ! I don't want to read the bible just because I can tell myself that I'm okay. I'm okay. I don't want to obey to be secured that I am obedient to Him, that I have a good foundation, that I am unshakable. I don't want to boast within me that I'm doing this, I'm doing that, good thing that I'm still doing this, that I'm doing that or now I'm doing this.


I want to actually love God.

I want to genuinely love God.

I just want to love God.

I guess this thought would continue...

My Beginning...my Forever

In case you certainly want to make me cry, remind me of the cross. You know what, I can't even breathe because of what He did for us ---for me. Breathless. Totally breathless. Breathtaking you say.

Reminded of His wounds that made me healed.. reminded of His question"Do you love ME?"..reminded of His suffering and death..reminded of His purpose for me..

He's calling me to trust in Him. He's calling me to trust in His love...

yung grabeng love.

yung love na mapapahagulgol ka...

yung love na too good to be true, but true.

Parang ang sarap sarap Nya lang yakapin. And I just feel that He's hugging me.

I trust in Jesus. I trust in my Father who gave Him for me...

Lord... how beautiful You are..

I have the best life because I have You...