First Semester at UP

Hi! Good morning! I just got my grade from one of my subjects this sem (EDTEG - Foundations of teaching in the Early Grades) some minutes ago and I'm just so elated. Yes, my grades are finally complete. Look:

So it dawned on me. My first semester in the dream university is over.

My heart still breaks that I can't say that it was a very smooth, easy- going , so "sisiw" and purely God- honoring  5 months. Can I just confess? During those months, it was like I was slapped in the face with the fact that I'm so weak, so limited and  not good enough. I even became that group mate that people would usually hate. That group mate who can't contribute much, can't say much. I felt  desperate, useless, brainless and I honestly hated myself. I was too worried about my testimony (well, who wouldn't?). I felt so ashamed. At times, I think I deserve to be stoned to death. And countless times crying out to Daddy God to have mercy on me because I am such a sinner. Why is this happening? It shouldn't be, right?. I felt messy, so imperfect (surprise,surprise!)...emotions all over the place.

Through these moments though, I was in awe again of how God reminded me that He is not over with me yet. He is still molding me toward becoming the woman that He wants me to be. He told me that I have hope, that I still have hope  and that is Him alone. Right now, I can only stand and hope again because of Jesus. Pwede pa akong magbago. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupulutin or how I could go on in life without Him. Grabe noh? Paano nagawa ni Lord mahalin ang isang kagaya ko? Na yakapin ang isang napakaruming kagaya ko? Grabeng pagmamahal and I believe that is the great love that will continue to change me for the better. I know He doesn't want me to be like this forever so I am offering myself mercy.All I could do is ask for forgiveness and slowly, bitterly forgive myself."...falling is painful. But it also teaches" - Rica Peralejo

I learned and experience a lot from the erstwhile sem not just from that failure ) Hehe. Let me share the lighter and brighter ones!

• I learned that  Values Education is not an easy subject and shouldn't be taken for granted. It is very important for the teachers to be really equipped in teaching this.Decision -making and critical thinking skills are vital for the students. 
• "Hindi lang laro ang laro" just like how Johnson's ad puts it.  In playing, children can learn a lot. That's one of the things  that I learned when I took EDTEG.  It was such a wonderful subject that I just grew my love and appreciation  for children. I also thought for a while of becoming a pre-school teacher! And then I also became  a fond of pre-school / kindergarten teachers. I think they're awesome.  I would smile every time I would see children playing Lego and blocks! I would think that they're developing their fine motor skills. While when they are running around, I would think that they are developing their gross motor skills. It's not enough pala that a child can recite 1-10. It must be checked if they can really count / if they have what they call "number sense". When you ask a child to give you five apples, will he be able to give it? When I see a two year-old using a smartphone or tablet, I will feel sad knowing that her body is still developing and it might affect her posture in the future! It breaks my heart too when parents doesn't care if their children are watching a show with SPG rating or if they just let them watch in YouTube without any supervision! I think children will have a greater effect on me now. 
• It's possible for a Kindergarten class to be so behaved! I love UPIS (University of the Philippines Integrated School) ! Galing! 
• My classmates taught me about https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/ !!It's really helpful when we did our research paper and when I did my case study! You don't have to worry if  what you're doing is saved or not!  I love it. I think it's such a blessing! Speaking of case study, the deadline for that was last May 25 at 11:59 PM (obviously).  I passed mine at 11:57! I failed to proof read and I really regret it. Thus,  I also learned that no matter what, proof read!!! 
• I - CC ang mga ka groupmates!!!
• APA format for references!!
• The real Oble is in the library! Not the one displayed in the university avenue! 
• I can walk from shopping center to Eduk. 
• I can walk from Eduk to OUR. 
• Blue book is a must. 
• Palma hall is AS!!!
• Hotdog (should be Tender Juicy)on stick and dynamite are the best. I'm so grateful that kilala na ako ni Ateng binibilhan ko. hehe.
• The library could be a home. 
• Wi-fi. :) 
• Laptop is helpful (praying for one. Mag Amen ka. :))
• "Ganito tayo sa UP, we do research and we publish it!" - Prof. Muega
• "Dapat lagi kayong research mode". - Prof. Alcazar  

Above all the learnings is the fact that my God is my Father. He provides and He makes miracles like from the time that  I don't have any slot nor professors at first,  then when  I can't attend our observation day,  our presentation time (walang nag ask ng questions, haha!), reporting  up to Grades Viewing. I know it's only because of Him. 

 Kahit hindi talaga sya perfect na sem and it's nothing much as an offering, Lord.   I still want to offer it to You. Thank You so much Dad!!!Hindi mo ako binigyan ng deserve ko! No shadow of hope have I in anything I've done. It's all by Your mercy and grace. In Jesus' Name. Amen. 

Let's do better next sem! :)

PS. I'm eternally grateful to my prayer partners who prayed for me in this season! Hi to my Lola Lydia, VFs, Cherry blossoms girls / Ka - Vg sa office, Ate Jovie, Heart , Jhesie and most especially, Pauleen my loves! Tuesday nights are so wonderful because of your faith and prayers for me! I love you all girls!