Meant to be pursued

I am nothing.
I am unworthy.
I am meant for something less.
I am not important.
I am not significant.
I would always be out-of-place.
I would always be less.
I can never be enough.
I am not beautiful.
I am not good at heart either.
I'm not precious.
I am just ordinary.
I am insecure.
I am trying-hard.
I am not neat.
I am not that smart either.
I am a burden.
I am desperate.
I am shy.
I am afraid.
I'm the ugliest when I'm laughing.
No one would look at me as if I'm somebody special.
No one would like me.

No one would love me.

Because of these thoughts, I just know that the enemy is stealing my hope in me. There are times, that I would have doubts whether it's really possible to be free from that identity of mine when I was still lost. They would creep in and eventually leave a scar in my heart. How did I have those thoughts anyway? Maybe because of how I was treated or maybe because of how I treated myself.

But because of how Jesus treated me, I have my hope again. Everything just turn around. Despite of all my limitations, I know He's able. He's teaching me to become like Him day-by-day. One of the "Him" that He wants me to be is.. the revelation that "He loves me. No matter what." Thus, I must love myself too.

I read a quote on tumblr before which goes like this (I'm not that sure), "Love yourself so that we can have something in common."

I am nothing.
I am unworthy.
I am meant for something less.
I am not important.
I am not significant.
I would always be out-of-place.
I would always be less.
I can never be enough.
I am not beautiful.
I am not good at heart either.
I'm not precious.
I am just ordinary.
I am insecure.
I am trying-hard.
I am not neat.
I am not that smart either.
I am a burden.
I am desperate.
I am shy.
I am afraid.
I'm the ugliest when I'm laughing.
No one would look at me as if I'm somebody special.
No one would like me.

No one would love me. 

Time to Believe Him who says I'm beautiful and precious.

With this new me, I just know that I can be secured. I don't need to be deperate, I don't need to dread in waiting for my MOG.

I just know that he will pursue me no matter what because he will see me in His eyes. :) 

Did I really fall in love?

We all know the verses: 

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails...

But I want to know 

Did I really fall in love?

I wonder. 

I mean "love" here for the "romantic" side of me. hehehe.

You know, I had tons of crushes before. An even now, being a girl, sometimes I just got really attracted.

I had a 5 year crush on someone.

I also admired one of my Senior in High School.

or even a friend who's really into music. 

I profess someone as my future husband when I was in grade school.

I even followed someone anywhere  and chose the course in college because I think that's the nearest to his. 

Though they are pretty much special, I don't think I loved them. Sobrang reserved talaga ako for my Man of God (MOG) hahahaha. 

Anyway, just a random thought. 

24 ways to be a Christ-glorifying woman

Be gentle in words and actions. Let your beauty come from a gentle and quiet spirit (I Pet. 3:4).

Determine to be strong. As a woman, you’ll face many situations where you’ll need to be steady and of a sound mind. Strength and honor are her clothing (Prov. 31:25).

Live purely. There’s goodness and power in purity.

Choose joy. You will bless everyone around you with your joyful countenance. Besides, it’s a lovely way to live.

Seek wisdom. And as wisdom comes from above, look up (James 3).

Laugh freely. It will lighten your spirit and everyone else around you too.

Care for your health. Be sure and eat good foods, exercise, and get enough rest. If you care for yourself, then you’ll be better able to care for others too.

Speak sweetly. People will be able – and more open – to listen to you if you do.

Be willing to work hard. Learn to enjoy your tasks and take on what must be tackled (Prov. 31:13).

Sing loudly. A song can both change a mood and give glory to God. So make a loud noise! (Ps. 98:4).

Study many different things. Decide you’re going to be a life-long student. Learn about gardening, ancient history, bread-baking, new languages, natural medicine, geography, or anything else that fascinates you.

Look after those in need. Have compassion on others and use your gifts to bless them.

Bring beauty into your life. And into the life of others. Whether it be flowers, art, poetry, handwork, or bright colors.

Walk through trials in faith. Don’t walk in your own strength, but trust Him who will carry you through.
Dress with modesty. Truly lovely. I Tim. 2:9

Invest in a few good friends. Make time for and pursue relationships with those who can encourage you, inspire you and challenge you.

Prepare delicious foods. Bless those around you with your simple culinary gifts.

Spend time alone in the Word. Don’t ever get too busy for time with your God.

Be kind to others. Kindness isn’t all that hard to offer and yet has such a significant impact on those around you. And on her tongue is the law of kindness (Prov. 31:26b).

Serve cheerfully. Look to Christ as your example, not what the world says about service. Nothing begrudging or stingy there (Phil. 2).

Pray about all things. Don’t try to solve everything by yourself, but go to your Heavenly Father with your joys, cares and concerns (Eph. 6:18).

Watch what you say. Your words have power to build up or tear down. So use them carefully.

Love others deeply. I Corinthians 13.

Draw near to God. And He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)



                                                                                                     source:  Club 31 Women

I'm so thrilled when I read this. I pray that I could glorify Christ  more and more in my life. In Jesus' Name. Amen. 

Okay, let's answer these questions! (Unfinished)

• 200:My crush's name is: Too many too mention. I mean, I admire their characteristics. No specific. 
• 199:I was born in: 1992
• 198:I am really: Saved by Grace alone. 
• 197:My cellphone company is: Nokia
• 196:My eye color is: Brown
• 195:My shoe size is: 8 1/2
• 194:My ring size is: Well I guess only my MOG (Man of God would know)
• 193:My height is: 5''
• 192:I am allergic to: Nothing. I hope. 
• 191:My 1st car was: hahaha. would be: Hyundai :)
• 190:My 1st job was: as Online English Teacher for Koreans
• 189:Last book you read: The Chronicles of Narnia Magician's Nephew
• 188:My bed is: hot. It's summer! No electric fan and all.
• 187:My pet: was New York a cat, but she's dead now. :( 
• 186:My best friend: Jesus. 
• 185:My favorite shampoo is: Dove
• 184:Xbox or ps3: Never had chance to play both! 
• 183:Piggy banks are: fat
• 182:In my pockets: coins
• 181:On my calendar: 15 and 30 (payday) Week 2 and Week 4 (Kids and Ushering Ministry)
• 180:Marriage is: wonderful
• 179:Spongebob can: remind me of Sponge Cola? what is! 
• 178:My mom: is lovely.  
• 177:The last three songs I bought were? Never bought  a song. 
• 176:Last YouTube video watched: about a little girl who donated her hair. :) 
• 175:How many cousins do you have? one (in Mother side) No idea on the Father's side
• 174:Do you have any siblings? Yes
• 173:Are your parents divorced? Nope
• 172:Are you taller than your mom? Nope
• 171:Do you play an instrument? Piano! I declare! I claim it. hahaha
• 170:What did you do yesterday? I taught English and watched Itazura na kiss love in Tokyo. :) 
• [ I Believe In ]
• 169:Love at first sight: Nope. That's attraction. 
• 168:Luck: Nope.
• 167:Fate: Yes.
• 166:Yourself: Yes? oh no. Why doubt? hmm. Not to myself but to Him. 
• 165:Aliens: Nope.
• 164:Heaven: Yes!
• 163:Hell: Yes!
• 162:God: Of course! :)
• 161:Horoscopes: No.
• 160:Soul mates: No. 
• 159:Ghosts: No. They're actually Demons. 
• 158:Gay Marriage: No.
• 157:War: Nooooo.
• 156:Orbs: What's this? haha
• 155:Magic: No. Tricks. 
• [ This or That ]
• 154:Hugs or Kisses: Both. 
• 153:Drunk or High: nah.
• 152:Phone or Online: Online.
• 151:Red heads or Black haired: red? hahaha
• 150:Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes
• 149:Hot or cold: Cold.
• 148:Summer or winter: Winter? Never experienced. hehe
• 147:Autumn or Spring: Spring!!!! :) 
• 146:Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!
• 145:Night or Day: Day! :) 
• 144:Oranges or Apples: Both.
• 143:Curly or Straight hair: Straight and curly. hahaha 
• 142:McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds
• 141:White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate. 
• 140:Mac or PC: PC.
• 139:Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops
• 138:Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Man of God. 
• 137:Coke or Pepsi:Coke.
• 136:Hillary or Obama: What? 
• 135:Burried or cremated: Cremated.
• 134:Singing or Dancing: Both. :) 
• 133:Coach or Chanel: huh?
• 132:Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat Mcphee!
• 131:Small town or Big city: Big City. 
• 130:Wal-Mart or Target: ?
• 129:Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler
• 128:Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure
• 127:East Coast or West Coast: ?
• 126:Your Birthday or Christmas: CHRISTmas!!!!!
• 125:Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers
• 124:Disney or Six Flags: Disney 
• 123:Yankees or Red Sox: ? 
• [ Here's What I Think About ]
• 122:War:
• 121:George Bush:
• 120:Gay Marriage:
• 119:The presidential election:
• 118:Abortion:
• 117:MySpace:
• 116:Reality TV:
• 115:Parents:
• 114:Back stabbers:
• 113:Ebay:
• 112:Facebook:
• 111:Work:
• 110:My Neighbors:
• 109:Gas Prices:
• 108:Designer Clothes:
• 107:College:
• 106:Sports:
• 105:My family:
• 104:The future:
• [ Last time I ]
• 103:Hugged someone:
• 102:Last time you ate:
• 101:Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile:
• 100:Cried in front of someone:
• 99:Went to a movie theater:
• 98:Took a vacation:
• 97:Swam in a pool:
• 96:Changed a diaper:
• 95:Got my nails done:
• 94:Went to a wedding:
• 93:Broke a bone:
• 92:Got a peircing:
• 91:Broke the law:
• 90:Texted: hour ago
• [ MISC ]
• 89:Who makes you laugh the most:
• 88:Something I will really miss when I leave home is:
• 87:The last movie I saw:
• 86:The thing that I'm looking forward to the most:
• 85:The thing im not looking forward to:
• 84:People call me:
• 83:The most difficult thing to do is:
• 82:I have gotten a speeding ticket:
• 81:My zodiac sign is:
• 80:The first person i talked to today was:
• 79:First time you had a crush:
• 78:The one person who i can't hide things from:
• 77:Last time someone said something you were thinking:
• 76:Right now I am talking to:
• 75:What are you going to do when you grow up:
• 74:I have/will get a job:
• 73:Tomorrow:
• 72:Today:
• 71:Next Summer:
• 70:Next Weekend:
• 69:I have these pets:
• 68:The worst sound in the world:
• 67:The person that makes me cry the most is:
• 66:People that make you happy:
• 65:Last time I cried:
• 64:My friends are:
• 63:My computer is:
• 62:My School:
• 61:My Car:
• 60:I lose all respect for people who:
• 59:The movie I cried at was:
• 58:Your hair color is:
• 57:TV shows you watch:
• 56:Favorite web site:
• 55:Your dream vacation:
• 54:The worst pain I was ever in was:
• 53:How do you like your steak cooked:
• 52:My room is:
• 51:My favorite celebrity is:
• 50:Where would you like to be:
• 49:Do you want children:
• 48:Ever been in love:
• 47:Who's your best friend:
• 46:More guy friends or girl friends:
• 45:One thing that makes you feel great is:
• 44:One person that you wish you could see right now:
• 43:Do you have a 5 year plan:
• 42:Have you made a list of things to do before you die:
• 41:Have you pre-named your children:
• 40:Last person I got mad at:
• 39:I would like to move to:
• 38:I wish I was a professional:
• [ My Favorites ]
• 37:Candy:
• 36:Vehicle:
• 35:President:
• 34:State visited:
• 33:Cellphone provider:
• 32:Athlete:
• 31:Actor:
• 30:Actress:
• 29:Singer:
• 28:Band:
• 27:Clothing store:
• 26:Grocery store:
• 25:TV show:
• 24:Movie:
• 23:Website:
• 22:Animal:
• 21:Theme park:
• 20:Holiday:
• 19:Sport to watch:
• 18:Sport to play:
• 17:Magazine:
• 16:Book:
• 15:Day of the week:
• 14:Beach:
• 13:Concert attended:
• 12:Thing to cook:
• 11:Food:
• 10:Restaurant:
• 9:Radio station:
• 8:Yankee candle scent:
• 7:Perfume:
• 6:Flower:
• 5:Color:
• 4:Talk show host:
• 3:Comedian:
• 2:Dog breed:
• 1:did you answer all these truthfully ?

YBM Memories :)

Storyteller 

Angel 

Mexican

proud

Chritmas Party-goer

Best in Costume and Best Teacher for October 

Happy Birthday Mentor Lea!

JCO <3 nbsp="">

Backpack for Sesa from SL :) 

I want to actually love God

 I just read this quote on Tumblr earlier:

"I want to be a woman who lives totally abandoned to the first commandment: to love my Lord, my God with all my heart. I don't want the reputation that I love God, I don't want to write songs about loving God, I don't want to talk about loving God. 

I want to actually love God. 

When I close my eyes, I want my heart to move. When I close my eyes and I look at Him,  I want to feel alive on the inside. I want to look at Him with a fire in my  heart and it's real." 

                                                                                                                          - Misty Edwards


It made me cry when I'm about to teach again. It's always my favorite feeling  when I read something that almost or exactly said what I'm thinking or what's inside my heart for quite a time.


I want to actually love God.

I want to actually love God.

I don't want to follow Him just because I know that I'll have a great life. I don't want to do anything that He wants me to do just because there's a promise with it. I don't want to give so that the floodgates of heaven would open for me . I don't want to be a a woman that He wants me to be just to have a godly spouse or to have a godly  marriage in the future. I don't want to have great faith just because everyone else has. I don't want to look on fire for other people. I don't want to be eloquent in praying just because ! I don't want to read the bible just because I can tell myself that I'm okay. I'm okay. I don't want to obey to be secured that I am obedient to Him, that I have a good foundation, that I am unshakable. I don't want to boast within me that I'm doing this, I'm doing that, good thing that I'm still doing this, that I'm doing that or now I'm doing this.


I want to actually love God.

I want to genuinely love God.

I just want to love God.

I guess this thought would continue...