Sitting beside Inang

I watched the movie "Coco" and Mama Coco reminds me of my Inang. (March 15, 2018)

         I'm really fighting the tears as I sit here beside my Inang. Her name is Felisa and people call her Iling. She is my almost 99 year-old great grandmother.She looks skinny, she can't walk now and most of the time, she's asleep. Just like now... 

I just really miss her. This is so not her. This is so not us.

          I miss her shouting my name " Mayyyyyy!!!" and I just know that she will command me to do something. I dread it because I know it' ll seem to be endless. Hindi pa tapos isang utos, meron na naman ulit! She's just like that. Hangga't may ma isasabay, ipapasabay. For her, that's being wise. Pero for me, honestly it's frustrating.

           But as I sit here, guess what? I miss doing the things she asked me to do - cleaning our house, cooking (helping her in making her specialties like atsara, minatamis na kundol, relyenong bangus..) washing her towel, mag almirol ng damit nya, ipagplantsa sya (while watching me), ipitas sya ng ikmo, ibili sya ng bunga, ipagsipilyo sya ng pustiso and all that. I miss her shouting "mauubos ang kuryenteee" when she wants us to stop watching TV. I miss her waking up so early kapag magsisimba sya. I miss seeing her sitting in front of her mirror (applying lotion, putting a lot of powder in her face and body, fixing her hair or even counting her money). I.miss her working on her garden (even in her 90s, dinadamuhan pa nya ang bakuran namin), I.miss her asking me to help.... Wala na. Naiyak na talaga ako remembering these things. She's still here but I'm missing her badly.

           She's the one na hindi ako natiis when I was crying to her na gusto ko talaga mag-aral.

The one who taught me a lot of things. The one who listens to my declarations. The one who always tell me na tipiin ang bibig ko para gumanda ako (hahaha) pero pag binigyan ko naman sya ng pera, sinasabi nya gumaganda daw ako.

           Okay let' s take note of the learnings from her life and some advice from her now para hindi ko makalimutan!

           Magpundar.Magdasal palagi. Ang piliin na lalaki yung mabait at mahal ang Diyos (yes, she always tell me this), makipag kapwa tao, linisin agad ang mga gamit pagkatapos gamitin, isoli ang gamit kung saan kinuha, isangkutsa ng mabuti ang mga ulam, no to MSG, kapag may nakita nang dapat gawin, gawin na!, be presentable and modest!

I learned things in her life na mga dapat at hindi dapat gawin...

Medyo hindi na nya ako maalala these days. Hindi na sya.makasigaw ng "Mayyyyyyy!!!!". When I ask her who I am, she just say "si taga Maynila". Sometimes I could still make her smile but it's becoming more rare. We rarely talk and I rarely hear her voice..

Minutes passed.. I tried to shout and call her in my usual way ... "Inaaangggg!!! Inangggg!!!" but still, she's still. I could just watch her breathing...and I'm somehow thankful for that.

P.S.

Regarding her salvation, I shared the gospel to her one time. I remember praying with her too. I really really really pray that she trusted Jesus alone for salvation. Amen? Amen!!