Daddy's whisper: You're worthy.

I love learning.

And these days, I guess  it's not too late to learn more about my worth.

Take this from someone who grew up believing the lies that  she's just a nobody. Someone who always need to earn someone's approval or love. Someone who always long for attention. Someone who's NSSB (No Suitor Since Birth)  and NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). Someone who always always thought that she's not beautiful, there's something wrong with her, no one will like her or that she'll never be good enough (Sponge Cola's Neon on repeat? haha).

It's been obviously hard  for me to believe that I have value. But in His time,  it was introduced to me.

The starting point is when I heard the Gospel (what Jesus did for you and me) and  became real in my life. I was consumed by Jesus'  love for me.  Is it really possible for Someone to love me so much to the point of His death? That He'll trade the comforts of heaven just to be with me? To bear  the unbearable pain that's supposed to be... for me? In Jesus, the answer to these questions is a resounding' Yes'. Just thinking about it can easily bring me to tears.

Wow, Someone cares, Someone shed His blood, Someone loves someone like....me?
So, I have value? I am loved? Can I be secured?




It took sometime for that to sink in. It's  been a process for me.

Have you  heard of the saying that "You must preach the Gospel to yourself everyday." ? I have. But why? Why do I have to preach the Gospel to myself everyday?

Because I tend to forget. I really tend to forget my worth.

 I was reading The Chronicles of Narnia - The Silver Chair last night and I read a great quote from Aslan. It  reminded of my tendency to forget and the importance of remembering. Remembering His word and who he says I am.

Because I tend to forget. I really tend to forget my worth.

Especially while I'm waiting for my MOG. This waiting process has been a roller coaster ride. I will feel lonely some days and then I will feel secure again  after talking to Daddy.  I'm learning a lot in this season about self-worth and security.  There are many principles from women's talks , from my leaders or from books. The purpose actually of this post is to summarize them. Kindly click to the links for my post about those. :")

1. Don't be "assumera"

2. Do the  ABCs of Waiting

3. Know

I was talking to one of my sisters in Christ  one night (specifically on the night of my birthday)  and shes' just telling me about the man who  just laid down his intention towards her. One thing that I learned and realized that night was that MOG is brave. He's got to be brave. It takes courage to initiate a relationship even if he's not sure if the woman will respond as he wants her to respond.  Know your MOG. Know that he is courageous. Know that he is a leader.


4. You will do the choosing

This is what I'm learning these days. One day, I will choose. I will be the one to decide. I will be the the one to be pursued and not the other way around. I will be the one to decide if I want  him in my life. We have roles to embrace pala. This is new to me because I'm really used to be the one na..you know.. after a guy.. I mean parang desperate.. may crush ganyan..like oh sana I -like nya yung post ko, longing for his attention etc. Ang weird nito for me promise. HAHA. Buti na lang si Daddy, teacher din. hehe.

Men are meant to pursue and  initiate . Women are meant to be pursued and respond.

I'm learning din about responding!  My leader told me to ask these to myself when that time comes:

"nakukulitan ka or "naiinspire"?

"pwede na" or "eto na yun"?

One day, it'll be inspiring and eto na yun. HAHA.

Pero right now, for us, women.. enjoy natin tong Father-Daughter season. Yung kayo lang ni Daddy Lord. He has made everything beautiful in His time. May you enjoy every season.  Mag pa mold ka lang. Mas main love ka pa sa Kanya. :")

There are times that I'm still wondering .. "Shocks..Talaga ba? I'm meant to be pursued? I have the right to choose?" Siguro ikaw din at one point. But yeah girl, you are. You have. Not because you are above other women or the man but simply because you're His Daughter and He loves you the most. Daddy only wants nothing but the best for you.

Hear  this: "My Daughter, you're worthy".

PS.

No matter what, may MOG man or wala. You have THE ONE. You have Jesus. One secret on this is the truth that  LIFE IS ALL ABOUT HIM. Yung life mo? Yung love story mo? Yung kayo ni MOG? ALL. ABOUT.  HIM.

24 at 24

It's been habit to document some highlights of my year. Here are 24 things that happened when I was 24:


1. Braces!!! (January 2017)

- this is such a dream come true! It's really a desire to have a beautiful smile that will just bring Him more glory and of course, a beautiful smile for MOG on our Wedding day as well. HAHAHA!

2. First time mag loan sa Pag-ibig and SSS.

3. University of the Philippines enrollment!

- hunger games ng subjects! Grabe! Thank You Lord talaga sa grace sa pag e-enroll!

4. EDTEG 201 and EDFD  247

- teaching in the early grades and values and education subjects. I met my first profs in the university and met new friends! I'm so grateful that I learned a lot from them. It was challenging, yes but we learn!

5. Made a case study for EDTEG 201!

6. First time to present in UP!

7. First time to report as well!

8. Zorro talked and complimented me!

9. my first UP shirt!

10. May suki na sa University ng hotdog at dynamite.

11. Ate at Shakey's in front of Ateneo!!!

12. We got a store in front of our house! Yay for own business!

13. watched Kita kita, 100 tula para kay stella, Love you to the stars and back

14. watashiwa Ycah desu! Japanese convention with Ana!

15. climbed Mt. Batolusong!!! So beautiful!!! (September 30)

16. I got my first grades in UP and they're an answered prayer and faith goal!

17. First time to attend Missions caravan!!! (HEART for Bhutan)

18. Ate cams gave me Strengths Finder!Precious advance gift!

19. Knew my top 5 strengths!


Woo
Connectedness
Learner
Belief
Restorative

20. Finished 121 with Stella. I pray that she'll have her Victory Weekend soon!

21. I was not living with Jenny anymore :"(  I miss her so much!

22. Prayer walk in UP and interviewed HT Pat and her hubby about their marriage

23. Leadership 113 graduation!!!

24. Prophetic Presbytery!!!!! (September 23)





 Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. 

                                                                            (Ephesians 3:20-21New Living Translation (NLT))

Dear May 14,

Hi there! This is me, May 24! In two days, it's May 25's turn. So, I've got to do this now. I know you've been writing to me. I read one of your letters last week and your diaries (wow you've been expecting a lot from me)  so I decided to write back to you my dear. I hope you could actually read this!

 Well how are you there in that yellow room of Rizal? You're in second year of high school right? Maybe you're with your classmates and crushes right now. Haha. I think you're enjoying hanging out with Diane, so crazy about Yael, high school musical (Breaking Free), candy magazines, Princess hours! Yes, I know.

Well to update you about those things, after 10 years... Diane is a Mom now. I just saw her post on Facebook (after friendster, there will be facebook) and her baby is so cute! I'm still using the nickname that she gave you "Ycah" and I miss her. I'll always be grateful for her life but we rarely hang out na. :"( Don't worry though you'll meet more girls that would mean a lot to you as well. :")

How about being crazy about Yael? Haha. Yael is your world right? Oh,  I have  a surprise for you! One day, you'll meet him in person!!! It'll be awesome! Your rocking romeo!!! Not just once but multiple times! (Can you believe this?). One day, you'll also find yourself along Katipunan Ave and you'll even eat in front of Ateneo!!! (I know it's your dream).  He's married now though! It's not with Ate Lia , but with another wonderful woman. I know this is painful for you. Aww.

 Yael is still special to me. He's still the best vocalist out there and Sponge Cola is still the best band. But, they're not my world anymore.  You never thought of this but, one day you'll meet Someone far  greater than Yael. One day.

I just listened to Breaking Free some minutes ago. I still love it. I remember you're always waiting for it on the radio and records that time that it's played or it's spot on the count down. There will come  a time that you can listen to it anytime you want. :")

Speaking of radio, wala nang 99.5 Hit FM and Nu 107 Rock. :"( You loved listening to the BrewRATs show too  so for an update, Tado passed away already but one day, you 'll meet Ramon Bautista!!

You loved Acel Bisa then and I love her more now! I read her book and her life is such an inspiration to me now.

You're also crazy as well about Princess Hours! Do you still sneek out at night just to watch it? Would you believe me when I say that my job now is teaching English to Koreans? I talk to Koreans almost everyday! I still watch K dramas and it's still very popular until now. This time though, I watch them on my phone. Yes, that's possible in your future.

Candy mags!!! You're so happy with your latest one! The one with Gio Limjoco on the cover! Yael is there too right? Boy panel! I remember how happy you were. Haha. Yung self- portrait ni Yael and the Unbearable Lightness of Being! You will have more Candy mags but as for me, I don't collect anymore. I just visit their website: candymag.com.  Still a Candy girl I guess.

Let's talk about online and tech stuffs now. I mentioned Facebook earlier. That's the famous SNS these days. Friendster is long gone. I saw the FS shout out that you prepared. I realized that you' re so me and I'm so you. I still prepare and collect FB status. HAHA! But yeah, prepare to say good bye to FS. Ouch. Wala na ding GM GM these days. HAHA!

I read what you wrote "Impossible dream: College" Not really. You will graduate and you will with honors - Cum Laude! Broadcast Comm ang course sa PUP - Manila.  Akalain mo ba naman yan? What a miracle noh? And now, I'm still a student. Yes, prepare for this girl... I'm studying... in... UP - Diliman!!!!! I'm taking Educ Units.  What? I 'm not kidding! Sobrang I know hindi ka maniniwala but it happened! Kaya nga sabi ko sayo lagi akong dumadaan ng Ateneo. HAHAHA. Later I'll tell you how it all happened and why.

Sa family naman, I know you really hate it kapag pinapagluto ka  ni Inang or pinaglilinis. Today, I miss it so much and I appreciate it. I love cooking now.  I miss those days na trio kayo ni Inang at Tita. I miss maghatid ng tahi sa Bustos and I miss Inang so much. She's gone now my dear. It's been a year so please treasure every moment with her.

I'll do my best too to help Tita Laura. Yes, I will not forget her sacrifices para maka pag aral ako.I know you're counting on me on this.  I pray to really be  a blessing to her and her son. Yes, a son! May anak na si Tita!!!! His name is Stephen and si May 23 yung nagpangalan sa kanya! :")

Nanay is back too! She's with us now (pati si Angelo Yay!) and she's taking care of Nanay Lydia. Nay Lydia is not in good health these days  but I'm still praying na maabutan nya ang pagiging LET passer ko tsaka na makilala nya si MOG (Man of God - that's how I call the man na nilaan ni Lord for me)

Hmm anong nangyari sa mga crush mo? They became your friends. Oh, I remember, some months ago, I saw one of your crushes, we met in a place and had a picture. He commented on our photo  "Ang ga-ganda naman ng mga kasama ko" . HAHAHA. If that's you hindi mo kakayanin. He will find you beautiful somehow but you're friends. One day magiging wala na lang yan. There will come  a time din na you'll thought hindi na mawawala yung crush mo on someone but it's possible. Natatawa na nga lang ako sa mga sinulat mo about them. Grabe I really wish I could talk you back then, sorry I can't. Anyway, may MOG naman tayo so..

Speaking of MOG, I know you're so curious about your / our love life. NBSB pa din ako my dear like you  and I'm grateful. We are reserved to His man. Only one man.Please be secured.  I'm grateful how God protected me all these years and I'm excited for your discovery of love. I know you're singing "I always thought that love could be the strangest thing to me". I know you feel like your family and relatives hate you and no one loves you, no one will accept you. I know you feel like you're nothing and not worth anything at times because hindi ka crush ng crush mo. But my dear, some years later, you will meet your THE ONE. Love Himself! Yes, I met my THE ONE who will accept you and  love you the most!!! And that is Jesus!!

May 18 met Jesus (the One that's far greater that Yael) and that's the game changer in your life. He is the author of your faith, your hope and the ultimate source of your LOVE. Grabe ka Nya I -si-secure. Grabe lang na He will reveal His great love sa 'yo.   Be excited. Super excited! Your future is so bright because Jesus is there. He is the culprit why we finished school or why I'm studying in UP now. And oh, I forgot to mention, May 22 went to Korea too by His grace and power alone! AWEsome right? I call myself Princess in Awe now.

The last 10 years has been wonderful because of Jesus. Your life is wonderful because of Him alone.

Instead of shouting "I love you Yael!!!!" , I'm shouting "Thank You for Your love Jesus!!!" now and you will too.

I want to hug you when I read your letter and your diary entries. Ang sarap mo I -disciple bata ka. HAHA. You'll be a new creation soon. Hang in there. Your purpose will be beyond you. It'll be  a great journey.

Let's wait for May 34's letter to us.


                                                                                                                                 Love,

                                                                                                                                May 24

Mt. Batolusong

September 29 -30 are special days for me. That's when my Victory Weekend happened. Victory weekend is a two-day retreat that helped me in establishing my faith.  I can still vividly remember the best weekend of my life. I received the best gift ever (which is the Holy Spirit) and then I publicly declared that I am Christ's follower!  

To celebrate, I organized a hike going to Mt. Batolusong located in Tanay, Rizal last September 30. I never heard of this mountain until I read an article about Erich Gonzales'  climb. I searched the pics and amazed to realized that it's possible as well to see a sea of clouds. By faith, I hope people will accompany me. :")

There are some who responded they're going with me but in the last days messaged that they're not available anymore. I'm grateful for my dear friend / discipler Ana for staying and for Daddy God sa pag gising sa kanya (HAHAHA) . Kasi ang usapan, 2 AM, but my friend arrived at around 4AM! Yeah that's 2 hours of waiting but I just talked to Daddy na.. if before 5 AM dumating sya, tuloy kami, if not, it's His will na wag na lang muna mag bundok. :") Ayun nagising sya ng mga 3 AM plus. (Hi mars, you know you're forgiven hehe.) Ayun, hindi na namin naabutan sea of clouds. You have to start trekking ng 3 AM para maabutan!!! We also didn't go to Kay Ibon Falls ( a popular side-trip) because it's so slippery going there. 

Here are some of our pictures! :") Breathtaking sya! :") 

                

Let's go! :")

Ang linis ng tubig!! :") 

Stopped  to enjoy the view!

Buhay na bato :")

Mapatag Plateau

       

Tindahan ni Aling Yolly :") 

Talahib is love!

Buwis buhay part! (kinabahan ako dito haha)

We survived!! Whew!!!

Summit!!!

Prepared! Haha! I love our raincoat! Inspired by Love you to the stars and back! #joshlia HAHA

Erich. Hahahah

5 years ago she's with me on my Victory Weekend, and until now, she's here beside me. I thank God for her life!!! We're excited to climb with our MOGs in the future. HAHAHA!

I tried  to document what happened so that I can help you if ever you want to climb this beautiful mountain too! Here's what happened to us: 

4 AM - Jollibee Pureza (Ate breakfast, rode jeepney to Cubao) Php 13

5 AM - Cubao (rode a jeepney to Cogeo)  Php 25

6 AM - Cogeo (rode a jeepney to Sampaloc - pababa kayo sa Batangasan San Andres) Php 42

7 AM - arrival at Batangasan  (Rode a tricycle going to San Andres) Php 120 isang byahe  *60 each 

          - registered at the Brgy. hall of San Andres *Php 100 each

          - meet our tour guide (Ate Rose)  Php 500 ( *Php 250 each) 

          - start trek 

          - side trip to Sangab Cave  

          - some stops to drink water (you can drink in a mountain spring! Isn't that AWESOME?!!) 

          - met other mountaineers/ tour guides

          - amazed with the clean river (ang cute cute! ang linis) 

          - Duhatan Ridge

          - ate egg, banana and siomai sa tindahan ni Aling Yolly (Php 12, Php 10, Php 25) 

          - Mapatag plateau 

          - Buwis buhay part (AHAHAHA) 

11 AM - summit!!! (shouted "Thank You for Your love, Jesus!!!) 

12 NN  - descent 

             - tambay ulit sa tindahan ni aling Yolly. Heard their funny stories when they met Angel                                        Locsin and Erich Gonzales 

               - ate pansit canton (yes, even sa taas ng bundok may pansit canton!! (Php 25)

              - umulan na, ang  slippery na pababa!!! Thank God for the safety!!!

   2PM (I think) - took a bath at Sangab Cave. Ang lamig ng tubig!!!  Nakipaglaro sa mga local kids too!

   3PM   - nagbanlaw, roller coaster of emotions... nawala yung wrist watch ni Ana :"( Hindi na namin                           nakita. Do not leave your valuables unattended!!!  (Php 20 - hindi na kami pinagbayad                                 dahil   sa   nawalang watch though) 

   3:30 PM - Brgy. Hall (hugas ulit ng shoes hehe) 

              - said good bye to our Tour Guide na super bait. :") First time ko magkaroon ng female na                                guide - Ate Rose. It's like hiking with your Mom!

              - rode a tricycle to the highway Php 120 - (*60 each)

              - rode a tricycle  pa sakayan ng Cogeo na jeep (Php 50) - mahirap na sumakay at maghintay                        ng jeep eh

              - rode a jeep to Cogeo Php 30

              - ate dinner sa Cogeo 

              - rode a jeep to Cubao Php 25 Roller coaster of emotions, got a news that my grandmother is                             in the hospital  :"( 

              - rode a jeepney to stop n' shop and pureza (Php 11/ Php 13) 

It's been 5 years since I responded to Your great love. 

It's been 5 years since I believed that You are bigger and greater than any mountains. 

It's been 5 years of realizing that I'm not really alone. 

It's been 5 years of strengthening the faith and trusting You anyway. 

5 years of being in Awe of You, Daddy God.. Jesus and Holy Spirit.

I'll always be Your #princessinAwe 

In awe of Your favor in good times. In awe of Your comfort and power in the midst of challenges. 

In awe of Your creation. 

In awe of who You are.

Thank You for being my ultimate source of Kilig!!! Happy 5th anniv to us my Lord!!! Excited for more years and seasons with You!!!