My eyes still hurt. I cried hard at Mcdo yesterday. It was kinda embarrassing. Never thought I'll be that emotional. The super-excited me for my friend/ spiritual daughter's victory weekend suddenly hit a rock bottom. She'll not do it she said.
For now.
I was surprised and the tears just fell. It actually communicate what's obvious.
I'm scared. Scared that the enemy is triumphing over stealing the Words and faith that were planted in her heart.
I'm worried. Worried that because she feels okay na with her life again, and therefore stop the fire for Him.
Worried that she might be one of the girls that I fail to establish in the faith thus missed out a lot.
I'm insecure. I felt that I'm not good enough or that I just really can't be her leader. I can't lead well. Oh no, what did I do wrong?
I'm disappointed. It's like a wedding was just postponed when everything's almost ready. But not the bride.
Now that I'm writing it, the more I realized... Oh me of little faith!
There's no fear in love right?
Do not worry, instead pray for everything right?
You can only lead by His grace right?
It's only by the power of the Holy Spirit uy!
Everything will be beautiful in His time. He's in control! Oh me of little faith!
I surrendered and I still lead the VG last night with bawled eyes and red face.
Like always, I wanted to ask, "Dad, what am I gonna do?"
and I know He'll answer, "Trust Me."
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| Ngiting "Lord I trust You with her life" |
