Date written: 2nd week of January
So here we go! After the Prayer and Fasting last week, we finally meet for the first time this year! Here are some changes:
From Tuesdays evening to Monday afternoon.
We welcomed Heart back in our group!
My heart soars when I hear them speak filled with joy of discipleship. Their first breakthroughs are open hearts and desire for more of God for the girls that they are praying for. Feeling ko, may coaching group na talaga ako since I have these leaders with me in my group. How time flies and how God gave them a big heart for the lost. Disciple making disciples. What-an-answered prayer!!
and then
My heart broke as one of my spiritual daughters asked about God saying No. Yung tipong sobrang in faith ka nang ibibigay sya sayo ni God and I di - deliver ka Nya but then, it didn't happen. You fail. He said No. And, doubts started to kick in and you just have that tendency not to believe fully again.
What can I say? He does answers No. No daughter because it's simply not for you and He's got a better plan. We naturally think that our plans for ourselves are the best but His is actually better. It's really really painful when your and His plan didn't match. You just can't understand. Still, His thoughts are higher, His ways are better. We may not know the reason at all (just like Job) why things happened or happening, but we are called to trust in Him. The revelation and the truth that God is good is so powerful. What more is the truth that He is in control? A good God is in control. And if we love Him, we believe all things work together for our good! (Romans 8:28)
I love what my spiritual daughter Jahana said "If God is not changing your situation, maybe He is changing your heart." I was reminded of what I learned before na mas concern si God sa character-building natin than our comfort. He is molding us, testing us and the result is a greater faith and an irresistable heart before His eyes.
While writing this I was also listening to Pastor Joey's Dare to Believe week 2 preaching. He talked about failure and I can't help but remmeber our discussion about God's NO:
Failure is not the opposite of success. (It is a main ingredient for success.)
Failure is not your enemy. It's your friend.
When you fail, it's a moment to learn, to grow...
Fall for seven times rise up eight. We all fall sometimes but the difference with us is we stood up again.
Honestly while she's opening her heart about failing to become a CPA (though we really believed that she can make it), I was trying to recall a time when I, too, experience the same thing. I was surprised that I can't remember such a time. Should I be happy or sad about that?
Maybe there were times like that ...
Like when I didn't send girls in Victory weekend last year.
Like when I failed to have a VG in COC.
Like when I failed to become a best teacher last year.
Like when I failed to have VG in my workplace.
Like when I didn't have savings again at the end of the year.
Like when I didn't keep 6K from my 13th month pay for my braces.
Like when I 'm still thinking about him when I must not.
Like when I'm still not forgetting the former things.
Like when I'm still being assumera at times.
Like when we thought Ana would go to Mongolia.
....but I chose to lift those things to Him and trust that He is in control NO MATTER WHAT.
After praying, two of the girls left since it's already getting late. I was left with my Hana. She's consulting about feeling bad because of realizing how bad her character is or her thoughts are. It 's like she's only pretending things, pretending to be kind and all.
I was in awe when the Holy Spirit just allowed me to say things that I didn't know I know.
I told her that we're not naturally kind. We're such a self-centered creature actually. So when we feel like and thought like we should be the best, we should have all the favor, that's our natural old-self! When we're actually trying to be kind and all, it's not pretending, it's more on trying, more on obeying, more on BEING UNDER JESUS' LORDSHIP.
We can always choose between allowing ourselves to rule over us or Jesus. We can only be kind, we can only love our neighbor because He first loved us.
